Let nostalgia and what-ifs,
Should-of, would-of, and could-of,
Be no longer curses, but gifts,
Not the pain of loss, but the memory of love.

Let the years seem kind in their passing,
Let me revel not in the present but celebrate in giving,
In helping, in loving, in laughing,
Not just one closer to death but another year of living.

Let these words ease angst,
And soothe long-suffering sorrow,
Let the past be wreathed in lights, not pains,
Not days passed but another chance at tomorrow.

Today I've decided I've outgrown these tears,
I'm yet younger than the mirrors wrinkled clues,
So here's wishing you all the best of my years,
With a wink of these birthday blues.

Wet.

My sadness is like this damp cloth inside my rib cage that I can only remove if I claw my chest open.

I don't understand it. It's slimy and changes its shape as I walk and run.

Sometimes I don't feel its cold, damp wetness that much. And sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in it. It's like being cursed to wear perenially wet socks that you can never remove.

I can only imagine what warmth would feel like...the thought of my heart finally heating up in that glow is so delicious, it curls my toes automatically.

Or Maybe that dampness would start to rot my insides, consume me like quicksand...and when that moment comes I just hope my memory is kind enough to resign from service;)

Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely!
She said I am so lonely, lonely, lonely,
I  could die.
My mouth was dry,
There ain't sweetness here in paradise

Baby, Baby, baby, baby!
She said baby, baby, baby,
I  could die.
My mouth was dry,
But there ain't sweetness here in paradise.

Love, love, love, love!
Love, love, love,
I kissed you hard,
My mouth's was dry,
There ain't sweetness here in paradise.

When I saw his name pop up
In your phone.
I felt something in me break
& it hasn’t been right since.
The way you call my name,
The way you touch me.
I knew it was over.
I continued to go about,
Remembering the person I once
Knew.
When you’d kiss me your grip
Only got looser, while mine
Became tighter.
The receiving end of closed eyes
In search of better times,
Reliving a moment perhaps
I’d never live again.
Deep down I felt something in me
Break, something only you had
The power to fix.
The voice in my head told me,
The way you grabbed me the last
Time we met told me.
The way you tried to hide it
The way I pretended not to see
Told me.
Your eyes told a familiar story,
Not everything needs to be said.
To be dumb deaf & blind,
I love you that much

How can so much go wrong under a sky filled with pinks, golds, and blues?
These days, it feels like a chore to turn on the evening news.
Don't get me wrong. I know life has never been a pleasure cruise.
But day by day, I'm getting more addicted to the snooze button

‘Take away my blues ‘
I said a quiet prayer.
‘What will you have left then?’
Answered God
‘The sky I painted
The seas tainted
Are there for you
to blend into.
Blue is here to stay.’
‘Go on’ he said
‘I have a busy day...

The stars wanted to take me
The night sky wanted to cover me in black
The grass wanted to absorb me
The clouds wanted to rain on me
Why couldn't it be in your nature
To accept me for what I lack