The world is dark
but the moon is big enough,
bright enough
to light it up just enough to make out
the dark grey silhouette
of the mountains
against the blue-grey sky.

The hustle of the day goes quiet.
The stars are out.
The night is chilly,
but warm enough
that you don’t need a jacket.

What a perfect night to be lonely.

This bittersweet sap slows time down.
It feels thick and slightly cloudy.
Its the feeling of being full and heavy.
It is happy and overbearingly sad
all at once.
But this sap
is comfortable
and welcoming.
I want the quiet night
and bittersweet sap
to last forever.

06 10 2020

Let this be my goodbye
to that gold us, three years ago

it is raining once again
after that long summertime
when I found my skin stressed
and rough
and uglier, maybe

as I stayed up
in my holy place
the warm breeze from the outside
and cool air from the fan
touch my inglorious body
like how those bittersweet, melodramatic memories
touch my scarred soul

I hear the birds chirping
and I wonder if it’s a song
of sorrow
or of joy–
singing to the neighborhood
that the rainy season has begun

or maybe,
it’s just some of their small talk
and perhaps,
it’s just me trying so hard
to look mysteriously poetic

but here I am,
holding back the river
as I write this entry,
and as I ponder with the rain

how I remember those days
staying up late in my holy place
asking God how you are

and I remember when we walked
through that heavenly forest,
we heard the birds chirping
but I never wondered if they sang
out of their sorrow,
or of their joy

I remember that small talk –
how I wish we had it a little longer
I remember not trying so hard
to be me
when you just made everything so real
and so dreamy–that I don’t want to wake up from this ever again,
at the same time

but now
is the time
when I don’t want to sleep
until I could finally bid goodbye–
and as I do,
I want to remember that moment
that moment
for the last time;
that moment

when we first said hello
in August, three years ago



that was in August,
three years ago.


Maraming salamat sa'yo, aking kaibigan, aking kapatid. :)

It will sting; sedative, seductive, relaxing your body down soft.

Bittersweet poison,
burning away what no longer serves you.

I invade.

I melt inside of you, mending ourselves.

What’s you is me, what is me is now you.

A melted identity.

Bittersweet, togetherness.

To know I am always there.
To feel unison, undivided.
To see truth and trust.

You taste me addictively; trickling acid down your tongue.

You hear my whispered sweet nothings, covering the sizzling of my work.

I am passion;

Pouring my heart and soul into everything and everyone.

I am the Scorpion’s sting.

Will you love me?

Every time that we're together, my feelings for you gets deeper and deeper. You just didn't know cause you're blinded by the happiness it makes. I decided not to tell you because I know that we're both enjoying it. If we need to go on separate ways and I couldn't tell you this, then thank you for everything.

You handed me your memories from the passenger seat.
Together on long drives home,
we pondered the hushed musings of youth
that patter through heads and echo loudly
in the emptiness of half-formed identities.
Often the drive would be over, but the journey would continue,
the sound of the idling engine harmonizing
with the raucous beat of our young hearts.
Parked besides rows of sleeping houses
and wrapped in the security of a cloudless night,
my car's upholstery was saturated with tears of laughter and grief.
Rambling conversations, important only because they felt so,
shared in the privacy of a moving state,
a state neither here nor there, but in between.
We’d sit swimming in a broth of words
until life would tug open the car door,
spilling our fragile thoughts out onto cold cement,
and the chill of reality would seep into our bones,
and make us pull our ill-fitting egos closer to us,
their fragile unraveling threads the only means to stave off
the inconsolable state that marks the end of childhood.

Azaleas in Spring
Know their blush will soon wither.
Still grateful, they bloom.

Abandoned under the guise of self-sacrifice
How many times have you told these lies

A wonder to behold in your own right
Latching on, holding tight
I was lost the moment I got in your sights

A silver tongue with unmatched wit
Even the most dominant would submit
To your linguistic lashings

Skilled in verbal maneuvers and molding minds
You reveled in being one of a kind

Sly, and slick, smooth and quick
Your trick was finding what made me tick

You made me yours, then slipped away
I was your toy, begging to play

But then you were done; tired I suppose
You disappeared, to where..god only knows

You played the martyr, a victim, a pawn
Suddenly all of your power was gone

I know better, but I still feel incomplete
The flavor of erasure is so bittersweet