Your happy I’m not…
These mental fights I have fought
Break me into shards
I feel like I'm behind bars

Do you love me
I can see your glee
I know its another girl
It hit me and now I’m in a blur

Hello are you there
Its pain I can’t bare
I don’t want to live like this
I’ll never get your loving kiss

The pain in my eyes are seen
The outsiders I see are very mean
I hate the hurt in my head
To be honest I wish I was dead

Hey I’m talking to you
You act like I’m a fool
I will never give up
Even if I look like a lost pup

Crying so much turned to blood
They thickened on my cheek like mud
My white dress stained red
My scene looked dead

I want to harm myself
I don’t want any help
I’m enraged with your hate
But, maybe thats my fate

Cut cut cut slit
Punch punch punch hit
Tie tie tie hang
Load load load bang

Dead

And once again,
My love betrayed me.
He found one better,
One that filled his soul in ways that I could never.
She’s not broken like me,
But neither is she kind like me;
Or selfless like me;
Or caring like me either.
So, when he stares at her
In the same way he used to stare at me,
I hope he sees everything that she is not
As well as everything she is.
She may fill his soul in ways that I could never,
But she will never fill his soul like me.
She may be the one he chose,
But she will never be me.

Lies are nice
The essence of lies is to hide truth’s true form of purity or defamation, considering the protection it entails for countless reasons.
Lines of lies by smiles to eyes each side a blind side of layer, reason, caption of safety that remained fiction.

The thought that you
Would harm me so
Had never crossed my mind
For I was utterly obsessed

Secrets
Smiles
Safety
Revolved around you
Oh how I craved it all

But still, I fell
And you caught me
With love growing less
My pain growing worse

Soon my eyes were opened
Blind no longer
To my actions
So I waited for your return

The words which followed
I did not fear
You loved me, you loved me
Right?

Leaving for uncertainty
All reasons stayed valid to me
My hope still stood
Just for you

But there was a single sentence
Not another girl
Not turmoil between parents
Not collapsing grades

You simply wanted to leave
"Difficult and unstable," you spat at me
My dearest friend
Whom I fell in love with

He
left
me
suffering

My insides churned
Words flew onto the screen
I cursed him
Wept until breath refused to flow

The last words I received
From my future, my place of joy
****
You

Don't have much to say
Just writting, my heart to obey
Everything hurts so much today
Everything falls along, but not my way

I, a slay..
A clueless little girl, so gray
No way for me to go, affraid
Scared and alone once more, no hey!
Can't believe what my eyes saw today

Why do I feel so alone again, Sunday
Another week has passed away
I'm scared to ask for help, I pray

My lips where yours, your prey
My hips you touch, no shame
Is that your new girlfriend, Fray?
I can't believe what I saw today..

And tonight I go to sleep with a heavy heart

Burdened and not wanting to restart

Rest for ages and age bringing death

I fear what comes but I dare not take another breath

Am I ungrateful for a loss that does not outweigh gain

But a heart is a heart that will not easily change

For even a small loss can cause the greatest pain

I fear me, Dear

I’ve gone insane

My heart is held in the hands of people who like to break things.
Chaos is their default, and
everything is my fault.
Why do the broken always find me?

They think I am a mirror, but I am a window.
Not fractured like them, but convient and translucent.
They keep their hands firm against my cold surface and stare through me while they continue to look for something.

My mosaic is just not for them.