By Arcassin Burnham

I will never see a day of happiness like everyone has got
The chance to grasp with joy and family in their life not
Having to search for what they're missing in themselves mixed
With mental issues they can not contain,
And even though lie to myself about everything,
its time let myself free,
time to take the shackles off my feet let God see.
How everything is destroying around me.
How every person's love swindled me.
My life will be purposeful,
Unstoppable,
Unbreakable,
Living the happiest I've ever been,
Now its hard for ever sin,
Now its hard for me to pretend,
I'm glad I could try again.

I...
I dearly miss you
Not because loving you brings me to life
Not because you made me smile a little brighter
Not because I once thought we were meant to be
All these things made me desire your company
But I unspokenly wanted all your attention
If I had asked, would you have accepted?

Or would my greed and insecurities
have driven you away?
You knew my insecurities about
             my appearance
                       my family
                               my past

You took me as I was
But I never found a common ground with you
Keeping me in the dark about you
         Your attention
                  Your Patience
                            Your composure
                     seemed to all be a facade
I wouldn't notice thunderstorm in the background
   Of course, I notice
I always wanted you to be truly happy
A happiness that might not involve me
Sadly with a smile, correct myself
      Will most definitely won't involve me
              if I catch a glimpse
                  please let me smile and cry
                        Let me drunkly sing to
                          Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah

Your "OK"
shattered my
"I love you"

Do you ever feel like your drowning?
Like no matter what you do your not resurfacing?
Your trying to scream for help but your suffocating?
Your heart is weak but its beating and all you can do is wish it starts quiting.
Your not even living anymore you're just sinking.
Nobody can even see this happening because they arent caring.
You thought you were striving but inside you are just dying.
Your mind is trapped from the constant lying.
Im okay.
I am okay.
No i am not okay!
I am alone!
I am scared!
I AM DROWNING! SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME!
...
...
...
Its okay i understand your busy...
-Been

And things had never been so good!
Well, that's what I was supposed to say.

I had broken months before,
But I was too frightened to let you in.
So as we came together,
Something else joined us there.

I'm afraid that I went first,
and strayed further than we meant to,
But something took a hold of us,
And suddenly we were spiralling

Further and further from our intended path
until we crash-landed:
bodies, exposed,
souls, in tatters,
us, in ruin.

I watched a live band
yesterday
my stomach churned
against its empty walls
digesting emptiness
and simply
feeling human
....again

With a voice
so mellow
it mesmerized
hypnotized
the murmurs
to a silence

A marriage of strums
carried feelings
embraced
every stander
with a certain warmth
that reaches the heart
I heard my friend say
"they make fall
in love with myself"
how delicate of a statement
to float amidst
the dark space
dancing with their voices

Something pure
was taking place
and as an audience
we have longed for
such a feeling
so foreign
to carry us a bit closer
to our very core
reminding us
that it's possible
for a heart to smile
to prove that
innocence does
still exist

"Who are they?" I asked
"Waynick" she said