A glance below
Reveals a mudded water
Reflecting the city lights from above

Tightly closed eyes
Squeeze out the few tears that remain
A wind so cold it slices through the skin

The pretend future flashes in the dark
A writer
Who's work stands tall with the best

As this battle runs on repeat
Sanity becomes a luxury
That can't seem to be purchased anymore

Drowning
in past sorrows

Head
barely above waters

Struggling
just to survive

Fearing
for my life

Body
becoming more weak

Energy
depleting very quickly

Why?
I ask myself

Viewing
the light above

Bright
like the sun

But
it isn’t it

Rather
the bathroom light

Broken
and very insecure

Fears
create false situations

Imagination
runs with it

Caged
Within our heads

I grasp for my last breath
as I look down and the reflection of a chrome plug catches my eyes

I am in control and I do get to decide , as I pull the plug and the water slowly pours out from the drain

But wait , this isn’t the tub nor am I in the bathroom, quickly I realize I’m in the ocean and it was a piece of jewelry that caught my eye

I’m totally submerged under the water and the sun is beating down as the rays create lines pointing up like an arm reaching for me , calling my name ....

I go to kick my feet to swim to the surface, the sand crashes between my toes and consumes my heels as I feel so confused my legs extend up and I stand

I’m in shallow waters and I realize it’s just another panic attack  as I take a couple deep breaths , my mom calls from the shore “ son are you alright “ I pour out in tears crying uncontrollably

Yes  mom , I’ll be fine

You're only as strong
knowing your greatest weakness
If man knows not what they fight for,
why must he fight at all?

An open palm to aid the people,
closed one to protect things most cherished.

To force another to fight their battles,
shouldn't be as so.
One who cannot fight battles within them,
cannot fight the many more battles outwards.
If man knows not what they fight for,
why must he fight at all?

But if by any chance
one could win a war without fighting
and spilling blood
He'd be a fool not to take it.

One must know the worth
of what they fight for
to truly value it of it's all.

Be it,
family, integrity, ambitions or cause.
One fights with all that he has.
And only gives up
if they no longer have the strength of Lord.

Tears on her face
"Please don't go"
A sad smile
"I'll ever remember you"
One last kiss
Then he turned 'round
Headed for the war
Still honour-bound
She watched him go
The pain broke her heart
'Cause she knew he was
Her only light in the dark
March of the army
Where the flames spread
They marched to their doom
They marched to their death
No glory, no battle
Instead cruel assault
Hundreds of 'em died
Gone to their bloodied vault
The love at home
Prayed at the Gods' shrine
"Let him return,
Let him be fine"
But she could no longer
Stand her fears
So she headed for the army
That wept red tears
The boy had survived
The ****** fight
A feast for the crows
Under the pale moon's light
The enemy had lost
Many warriors too
The corpses for the wolves
Cruel fate for the cruel
The girl, she finally came
To the lords tent
The lord stood inside
A sword in his hands
"What does a young girl want
In this war?"
"I'm here to stand with my love
When the horns will roar.
I'm a warrior,
Better than any other one.
My blade's a snake,
And my skin is stone."
"I can't permit,
I can't allow."
"So then, my lord,
I'll fight with  bow!!
You can't hold me back,
My lord, my lord."
And she stepped forward
To claim the sword
"I'll fight for my love
Or I will die
But 'til the end
I'll be by his side!
I'll stand with you
Cause that's my fate.
I'll wield this sword,
And I'll ****** its blade!"
With that words
She turned around,
As suddenly the sound of horns
Raised from the ground.
They've come, they've come!!!"
The scouts called out,
"The enemy has come!!!"
Red dust was at dusk a cloud
The battle begun
When the sun had set down.
Once a mere argue,
To war grown.
She found him
Between dead enemies he stood.
She caught him as he fell down
Into a pool of red blood.
Tears on her face
"Don't go, stay with me!"
"I'll ever remember you...",
On his lips she had seen.
****** light
Teared from the sun.
She held him in her arms
The battle was won.

The long fights,
Worth in winning the small battles
The long nights,
Shine together through the lonely shadows.

Life's battleground
where you stand,
Upon each battle we've won,
come out of them smiling glad.

Remember, you're not the only one.

Internal battles meant to be discounted
And anxieties rumored as dismounted
While nothing could have amounted
To the tales within those mountains
Regarded and enabled as fountains
Of flowing wisdom which hasn’t counted
The melody of life yet to be sounded
A treasure seemed and well-rounded

when I was younger,
I had these hopes and dreams
and this one huge goal.

I wanted to leave this world
a little better off than it was
before I existed in it.



now, I've realized that
all I want is to
leave this world

and I don't care if
it's better off or not.

I thought that by now
I'd be happy.

I've been battling
these demons for
so, so long.

I don't want to lose.
I don't want to give up.
I just don't feel like
I'm able to keep fighting.

the truth is, I'm not
strong enough
anymore.

I need help,
but I don't want it.


please, teach me how to
disappear in peace
without taking
a piece of you
with me.

you need to
remain whole.
you need to
fill in the gap
left by my absence.
you need to
keep fighting.

keep fighting.
do what I couldn't.
please...