I’ve got to pull myself together.
I’m loss.
I’m scattered roughly by the wind,
Back and forth.
I’ve fallen to the ground, and all crows
Are on top.
They’re circling, circling, restless devils,
And don’t stop.
Shhh! Fly away! I’m going to.

I’ve got to restore myself to this body.
It’s the right way.
My body's awkward, enfeebled indeed –
Just get away!
I’ve lived in it, learnt a lot in it.
I swear!
I’ve loved, created, broken and lost, but lived
Just anywhere!
Shhh! Right-on. It’s my body.

It’s time to go out. There’s nothing to do here
At all.
No need to catch emptiness or uselessly freak
For all.
Believe, disbelieve, wait or don't wait
Any more.
It’s time to go out. I don’t want to stay here.
What for?
Shhh! It’s enough! I've got tired of lies.

I'm not a good lover, no good at hand in hand
Never not been exposed, still I pretend
The real me casually breaks free,
What do I do then?
No suggestion comes in
It's what goes around then comes around again and again,
When will it end?

Nobody knows...
...I let no one in so no one knows the situation


I'm not a good adult, I'm not a good friend
Never not been exposed, why do I still pretend
The real me awkwardly breaks free,
What do I do then?
I suggest hide the specimen within
It goes around then comes around again and again,
Is it going to end?

Nobody knows...
...search and rescue called off for no reason

I'm not a good man, I'm not a righteous person
Never not been exposed, I've given up pretendin'
The real me aggressively breaks free,
What do I do then?
Didn't we call each other friend?
What goes 'round, right 'round comes right 'round 'round again and again,
It's just not gonna end

Nobody knows...

©2024

What you get is not always what you're gonna see
There's a me I choose to let no one see
If you see that me let me be the first to offer up an apology
That's my B side, that's the stranger I gave a ride and once inside it destroyed my family
And quickly
I find myself beyond a solitary sorry
The fix is never near as easy as you plea for it to be
Always aware that my grip on reality was secured by the same guy who's loosing it mentally, the workmanship is shotty
I do know the motions to take though and I go through them awkwardly
Robotically emote what I think is expected, a real time commentary
Going live is scary, that's just reality
I've rehearsed my lines so when I do I blend in seamlessly
Neither are an ability I use to be a mystery, well, not completely
I'd rather no one see behind the privacy shrubbery
It's private property but I never enforced it properly
Good 'ol hindsight, always 20/20
No control on this disorder, examples are aplenty, it'll eventually break free then consume what's left of me
No one believes when I say this is not me
Honestly, I don't put up much proof of the contrary
I do try, but these copy/paste repairs are undone too easily
Woe is me

©2023