*****, i cannot change it
if i could, i would escape this
you and me are outrageous.

i don't have it in me to fight
i feel so hated, i cannot take it
i hope i'll be alright.




lookin' back to the summer lovin' and selfishly countin' bliss,
i've been through a grimmer something, but never more than this,

how it all comes back to nothing, how do you ever escape from it ?
i see in the mirror, i see a grin and her hurting and it makes me sick

if you don't know what pain is, how do you paint it ?
how do you figure out a way to say you know what faded

how do you tell them that the pain inside you is dangerous
to keep them their distance or they'll be burnt pages
                                
tell them to stop sayin' it!




*****, i cannot change it
if i could, i would escape this
you and me are outrageous
so many different faces

been through so many stages
so true about them phases
the way they say it
it's all true ain't it ?

love is it ?

the way life out paces
and everybody just races
it never fails to amaze me
how much everyone has waited
to feel alive

lord, help me through the night,
if i could, i would escape this
i don't have it in me to fight

i feel so hated, i cannot take it
i hope i'll be alright.

:zone zero: :alone:


what am i doing back on the phone, back on the drone, i admit i am alone, like ozone
in the air and i don't care if you're aware i'm not in the zone,
sometimes i wish i could ****** my own clone,
i hate everybody and everything he owns,
when i'll be gone there'll be no one left behind to mourn,
i'll be just lost in death as i was alive, in my time i roamed,
all across my mind and galaxies as far as i could to atone,
for my insecurities and responsibilities, they don't gel well in a broken home,
suspectible to them sticks and stones,
don't be a **** if you've never had your mind-known,
there's a circus fit, the circuits lit, let the circle sit in the middle of the riddle that has your mind-blown,
you won't understand a single thing, if you don't linger in ink,
long enough for the seeds to be sown,
i have a shot attention span, so many thoughts hunt and spam,
everybody just running to please the known man on the throne
the screen is glittering with ****, enough to make me sick,
there are so many infected by it, soon i'll be one of this,
i can feel the delusions have grown, the more illusions are born
at every opportunity thrown out of the window to rot and be ******
and as i look out that window world still feels hot but too out grown,
i'm happy on my own in my zone. zero. hollow.


:one: :two many:

i hate you today i'll hate you tomorrow
i hated your love i'll hate your sorrow
there's not enough air left to swallow
i suppose i'll be dead alone and hollow

surely in my head where thoughts follow the reason to dread anything that's not impervious to change,
i mean, me and myself are pretty strange, petty and ugly out ranged,
not in frequency like the rest of them, not trained,
not tamed, there's something wrong in my brain,
so come along and become a song as you find a voice to sing and shame,
the person who died because you said it's alright if you see the light at the end of tunnel where i found myself staring at a mirror again,
i'm back where it all begin, in the reflection looking for a name,
but there's so much hate that i cannot wait to hate you more as i waste myself in haste to make myself the monster i became,
i won't blame your tastes but, you're just a lame luck, a shame bud,
and i gave you all you could take thus you took everything but the pain such,
left me alone and cold on my own with blame enough,
that all the love got flooded in flames and now i'm stuck,
with all this hate that's deep down and shut,
i feel like a clown and a ****, so tough, ready to combust,
i'll be awake from night till dusk, reminded that i must hate you till i bleed to dust.

:three: : i wasn't humble:

and i can find myself often in a situation where the words fumble,
and i tumble down under into another void, i have no voice,
so many times it would have been wise to surrender,
but i was open up wide and i chose to ride the thunder,
and now here i wonder, if all my principles were insane ?
if a good man is really that huge opportunity of nothing to gain,
is it okay to be strange ?, is it not okay to be changed ?
when everything is evolving around you how right is to remain the same ?
and i still wander, in the lane, where the fast one's run and rise
is it easier to become again who you became and other-wise,
there's nobody out there to welcome you to the other-side,
all side's are the same, if you can see the clues in blue light,
it never mattered if you cannot see the atoms in violence,
there's only silence where you fight-
sitting on your made up throne, wearing a crown of your broken bones,
sipping the wine aged by your tears, you made a kingdom yet nobody's here,
you don't even have the luxury of a broken home, and it's clear,
there's no time-travel and you have wasted so many of your years,
in need of a few eyes and ears, there's not much on me i fear,
i'm even worse than i am, when i'm near a mirror that's dear,
watching the reflections sing to me  before as i,

:four: :paradise:

paradise in a pair of dice, repair ice, build me frozen lies-
cold and soothing, a puff of smoke and the time flies,
nothing to check or choke, how the mind-flies, into unknown, where the blind man tries,
to see the world, to find and understand the words in his sight,
don't let go, we're plunging back to earth and i'll lose you if you don't hold my hand tight,
we'll never reach the sky, falling back to where the dreams die,
i don't want the light, i want the dark and the cold to hold me all night,
i wasn't told you'd have to earn the fun by setting fire to the paradise,
i'll set fire to the paradise, and we'll both burn in hell for an eternity,
there's no love for me in this city, i'd have to leave you by your side,
take away my vice, travel all the way away never sin and be nice,
so i can learn how to keep you in, read in ink, breathe and win,
every battle that i wasn't prepared when you looked at me and clicked your heels thrice,
it's not paradise, if you need to survive, i've only died like twice,
and a million times more only to come back alive,
it's not para-dise, if it can-not die.

:count to five: :be dead:

there's no brain in my head, every time i take a breath, i go back to bed,
it's hard to fight the loneliness when you're not well,
i go back to myself, strangle myself, angle myself from a high and jump,
my brain made me do so many stupid things that i became a joke,
now i don't suffocate when i choke, get high when i smoke,
turn the wheels when i walk, i talk stupid when i talk,
on purpose i sting and shock, close the doors, burn and lock,
all that i have learned is that i have turned into a clown,
with tears in my eyes and words on my lips,
enough stings to sing them something that brings them the bliss,

but they've to all go back before it's nine,

these *******' lovers are so hard to find, i don't trust them with all my mind,
end these times, with fake *** people and their feeble kind,
the **** gets deeper the more you grind, and it's ain't a hole if it's a *****,
take me for my rudnes but i can't be that blind,
i've seen the signs, i've served my crimes, don't look at me like you can't bear me,
like i'm so ugly that you don't even feel me,
i've been left behind, and now it's just me and sadness,
talking about how i'll never be fine, my heart's telling me it's my time,
that's it for me, world wants to get rid of me, i don't belong,
and every thought in my head feels so negative and wrong,
it's just the narrative, trust me it's many more times more strong,
it's so cold where i sit that i'm sure of it, i'm sure i'll freeze everything that warms,
so i never find myself not numb, i'm not that dumb, but i hope i never find myself  in your arms,
i hope you forget me, delete me, count to five and i'll be gone,
some people never get to build a home, for they're the storm,
everything comes and goes, they've come and gone, earned and known,
made whole and be torn, into a million pieces to be born again,
over and over again, until the wheels stop rollin',
the voices stop callin',
there's nobody waiting,
so start walking back to where you are,
the night is full of stars,
and the wheels are still rollin'
stop controllin' and you'll reach where you are,
the light is full of scars,
so switch off the lights, and the tears will stop falling,
there's nobody else strolling in the lanes where you find yourself today,
i won't be loved by nobody, until i dive into a grave some-day,
wearing black, everybody would come around to give respect that would have nothing to say,
nobody cares for you like you do for the man in the mirror night and day,
but the man in the mirror has someone else in his eyes all day,
so blind, enchanted by the shine, of an artificial sun,
that'll burn everyone if the reflection stays.


i've come and gone in so many ways, that now i'm just tired-
that it's the time i count to five, and burn my-self in the fire.

here, somewhere lost in deep ways
i talk to myself a lot these days
somebody put a stop or i'll de-cay
haven't slept, now it has been three days

heaven has wept, all that is kept must be repaid,
if you put your mind to rest, the thoughts will eat you away-
don't look in the mirror lest you'll find so many things to be said,
and you'll hear them whispers;
don't mind regrets that one day you will learn to hate.


so wait for your turn to burn before you find a reason to stay,
if you see the sun you'll see the moon but you're blind by the peasant day
if there's no noon, only monsoon, how soon would the time fade ?
with nothing to do, the sky wouldn't be blue, how much gloom can a mind take ?
is mi-ne fake ?,
because i can't find no fun in a pleasant day

i'm not trying to find a clue but is it true that the dying stays ?
i'm nobody new but somebody you knew does that count today ?
you're a strange man you, every time a different view, so many mistakes,
but i really know you well, oh hell, don't tell, i pray, i do
you know me well too, we're the same you and i, we're one, we're two

a thought and a *****, a lonely dream that never grew, a rotting plague
i'm so afraid, the demons i've made will all eat me alive,
small and tall, breaking all the walls, in the night, in the light,
how do you fight ?
with an ocean by a broken faith,

i talk to myself so i don't ever forget this place,
in a room full of hate, it's easy to regret the burnt flakes,

the burned flames, screaming into the stunned tears,
nobody to blame but our own fears, shunned ears, closed eyes-
i've lost so many years to the earned lies,
now i don't need my own cray-
but i keep them astray and close by, so alone away

i breathe stray,
i thought you could stay

tears in ashtray
nothing to say-

here, somewhere lost in deep ways
i talk to myself a lot these days

somebody put a stop or i'll de-cay
it was never supposed to be this way

the need to write is taunting my head, i've screamed so many times but there are still monsters under-neath my bed,

if it's alright then, why am i so pleased to be upset, is this world just a lie, is it just my mind and when one day i'll be dead ?

it doesn't make any sense, there's not enough fuel for suspense, it's as simple as it gets, multiply it by complex

life is just a paradox and that's all we ever get, learn and forget,
get trained and then get canned for being a lonely pet,
if there was only a place to rest, when we're tired and have questions, because guess life's just a test,
why is that so hard to be blessed ?

i've confessed all my sins but there's no forgiveness to my self,
they don't know how to read my words not in ink, and i know that for myself,
if i ever want to run away i can't, you can never escape from yourself,
and it gets harder if you ever find that you have nobody to tell,

that's a one way ticket to hell,
you have only your soul to sell


smoke is just a reminder of what was, something lost-
travelling in circles and out of depth

it's so hard to stop for a moment and take a breath

i fear death, as i fear life

there's nobody else left alive, in my head everything is dead, nothing survived

i'm an apocalypse and there's no place left where i can hide
every thought is another battle that i have no strength to fight.

the storm is awake and the moon has swallowed the night,
i don't know what to do, i can barely see in all this light.

it's gonna' burn all night, inside of me and it's gonna' burn all of me alright.

I've stumbled upon the pristine song
the song that narrates what occurred to you

it is a shame that the lack of courage you had
to explain things to me was replaced
by nights of self doubt and questioning
a maze with no end because I
myself
didn't even know what the exit was supposed to ensemble

Apparently, it didn't have an appearance but a melody
A song gave me closure after months of distress
all the jointed to form the apology
that I wasn't worthy of by your lame standards

I hope that in the near future you collect
particles of bravery to tell people around you
how you feel instead of blaming them for your torment

-JB

h


h













        H O P E













The little child kept walking through the forest. Only ever stopping to look around to make sure nobody was following him. He was running away from home.


















His home was a thousand miles away from where he was at the moment. Afraid and lonely. It felt only yesterday when he sat by the window within the warmth of his home.
















Now all he saw was strange and confused. His eyes were having a hard time adjusting to the frequency of this wander land.















There was something barren in life here. Something felt made up and painted. There was no taste in the air. There was no feel to the wind.


















Yet, he kept walking on. In silence and alone. He was sure nobody else survived. He was sure he was going no where.



















And just before he was about to give up. There was a flash in the sky. So bright that the sky almost melted into a night. He felt it.
















He felt it rising through the wind. It was making his heart beat faster. The bright light burst into a big cloud of fireball, almost divine by design.











The little child closed his eyes and bent down on his knees. This was salvation.

A few seconds later, he was torn apart in pieces.














h

(A poem over a few thousand miles)
by JAC and JAB

We never age in memories,
But in stories, we do.
Our words mature with us,
So our stories do too.

Our days grow older
And our pages unfold,
Until we become the author
*Living a story untold.

As potential grew, a desire to write, disclosed to few

Imagination immerse, but yet to thirst for knowledge, accrued ambition address

All aboard the express, thoughts of Harry, a plot to marry

From fanciful flights to greater heights

Capturing such visualisation, twas the formation

Characterisation, of wings to soar, with metaphor

From Dumbledore, yet taking shape

Professor Snape, assume the plot, lest thoughts forgot

A forest to roam, a philosophical stone

Such creative flair of which to share

Joining of the dotted line, artistic mind

Transporting train, journeyed acclaim

Of whom to impede, the will to succeed

The ability to write, the capacity to teach, the desire to reach

An impetus for change, a literary role, a priority

Of which to seek with tenacity

Beyond horizons, beyond confines, stand undefined

Awe-inspire, great readership, a due reply

To simplify, a noble shift, outstanding writer in the midst

Dynamic plot from pen to page, persistence through to published stage

A realised dream, challenge overcome

A victory won definably, stocked supplies to library

Broomstick flight phenomenon, a mystical tale was to become

Would generate, the bus of Knight, to render right

A rebuilt life, a legacy made

From chosen craft to final draft, a world of creativity

The right to type, to innovate, an intriguing wait

A shining star that would liberate



Written by Geraldine Taylor ©

there's nothing to see
i'm not free

i'm so hollow i cannot speak
there's this nothing to be

i wonder why everything's  
on a repeat  

who left his brain out ?
this virus will eat

there's nothing to gain from this
so why don't you leave me

alone with my words
i need some sleep

stop poking at my mind
with your drugs and your
shine so fine

makes me want to rhyme
on a piece of paper

i'm so glad we're still strangers
or we'll have nothing to speak

there's so much to be said
but no one knows how to read

to believe
too relieved

two seeds
can make a naked
forest breed

teachers don't teach
preacher won't preach

and it doesn't mean anything
because no one knows everything
there's always something
that cannot really sing

just an ugly face
with no voice

there's beauty
and then there's a choice

a noose to fill
you choose your thrill

everything kills
so why are you still

so afraid to die
tell me why

nothing means everything
when you know how to lie

to your brain
and see the magic
through closed eyes

life is tragic
the more you cry

jump off that balcony
to see if you can fly

if you make it
meet me on pluto

wear a tie

don't worry
if you cannot breathe

and there's no reply

i'd be waiting there
for you

where sky's not blue

holding a sign

that reads
nice try but
you're dead too

i spent all my time
being emotional


i spent all my time
being stupid

i never came to know
which love was mine

so alone in my mind
searching for a cupid

reaching for something
i could find and live with

now there are no lines
and nothing rhymes

it's all a blur and i'm so blind
living off of the fumes
of a dream so lucid


if i never wake
it's fine

i don't need you
to remind

never used a gun
i don't need the shine

don't know anyone
but so many promises
to blind

i don't need your sun
whatever is fine

go ahead
you can remove it

annihilate the sky
the voice from my eye
keep the universe muted


it wasn't mine
to begin with


i'd rather stay high
in your world i can't fly
it's so polluted


without wings
i would crash and die

at your place
words are all ink and lies

there's no magic
and you've never asked why

there's so much more
and you refuse it.


i spent all my time
being emotional

i spent all my time
being stupid

i never came to know
which love was mine

so alone in my mind
searching for a cupid

i spent all this time
being so normal

maybe the confusion
was deluded

i spent all my mind
being someone else

that i could never be me
to do ****