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CIN Jan 2022
I was outside in the cold for hours that day
thinking about how to end things
i passed your body
On my way upstairs
Before spreading out my saved pills
And unlocking a knife
Crimson spread along my thigh
And my stomach became upset
My water is now empty
And all that's left on the counter is dust
A little bit of red stains the blade
And i pull up my pants nonchalantly
My first attempt was done in my bathroom after being on suicide watch for months. If i want something i will find a way, and you wont see it coming.
Valya Oct 2021
Will someone show me love once again?
Will anyone be so kind as to take
A broken soul and help them back up
Is that a tale that can still be told for me
Or will I be stuck with the
Stream of tears that row down my face each day
As my only companion
A painful reminder of my failed attempts
At a perfect love before
Can I have a time that is different
Can those next tears shimmer instead
And lead me to a happier future
One that teaches me what unconditional love is
I just wanna see what unconditional love is in a romantic way
mark soltero Aug 2021
please fix what's broken inside me
i've tried a hundred times
and i can't seem to make it right
there's nothing inside me that shines anymore

i killed off yesterday
so there wouldn't be today
yet i woke up again this morning
xandra Dec 2020
the way
that i spent
nearly countless hours of
my precious time
psychoanalyzing
nonexistent nuances
in any
desperate attempt
to escape the silent shouting
void around me;
only to be left
in the same void once more
the moment i got
an ounce of clarity.
~it's astounding, but not in the good way
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
I have been trying to control the need
Escape ruthless desire
Hide fears within quiet looks
Start to falter and tire
For each time you leave my side
Another day crumple into a ball
Try to stand up by myself
Every attempt immediately fall
Way too wobbly to carry own weight
Legs always buckle and cave
Powerful devotion I feel for you
Holds me captive
A slave
When I try to regain balance I just get even unsteadier
He is scared that I'll go someplace he can't reach me,
So he's chosen not to connect at all.
I do not intend to be absent,
But I wish he knew
It hurts equally to regret love not given
As it does to lose love you've given your all.
Regretting time not spent and care not shown
Is a special kind of hell I do not wish upon him.
Sarah Flynn Oct 2020
lean in to kiss me
without my permission,

and you will regret it.


you will never know
the taste of my toothpaste
or my last drink.

you will never get to
taste that power.

you will only taste the iron
in your own blood
when my fist collides
with your jaw.

you will see my fist,
and then you
will see darkness.


but unless I
give you permission,

you will never
see my skin.
Lexx Sep 2020
it sang the melancholy tune of regret
of frustration
the small breeze of a promise that it would all get better
the pain would subside
the failure of my breath would discontinue
i maybe could breathe up in the clouds
or down in the dirt
where fresh flowers are wilted
but the smell still captures the air

but then i thought of you
and i realized your face when you found out
and i couldn't bear
to fail you again.
CW: suicide attempt
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