i'm invisible
you see right through me

you see me
but you never notice me

you talk about me
but never to me

you know who i am...
**but you dont know i exist

I don't know since when.
This diet has began
and gone extreme.
There was once
a reasonable aim.
But a new one comes up
whenever the old was
claimed.  
Crosses over the weekdays.
Tell me how far I have gone.
But the crosses goes on,
They linger far too long.  

I was counting on my calories.
Eating portions from my lunchbox.
No more than
a quarter
I couldn't stop.
I'm sorry.
But I'm not.

Led by starvation
my ultimate downfall.
I was saving all the calories.
For a binge at a time.
Keeping in my desires.
Till it's time to dine.
No my throat is on fire.
It's getting tire and tire.
So I kept eating and
release as
I violently *****.

This is all too
disgusting.
dreadful.
disgusted am I.
Nothing have I eaten for breakfast,
lunch, tea and dinner.
Spooning out from my
kiwifruit.
No one could save me.
From my one and only solitude.

everybody feels insecure
some people
just do a better job of hiding it

**(c.m.h)

you know youre addicted
to self harm
when you start noticing
the scratches, scars
and bruises on others
and you wish
they were on your skin
not theirs

(s.q)

The toilet bowl is my mirror
I see the monster I've become 
Every time I lose my food
A countdown has begun

I keep breaking promises
I thought that I would win  
But the numbers on the scale
Are
       too
             high
                     to
                         keep
                                 me
                                       THIN

i painted my nails so i would feel pretty
but it didn't really work
what a shame, such a pity



-k.l.