2 years ago I wrote a poem about Cat Woman
2 years from then it still hurts to think about.
You see,
2 seconds
turned to 2 minutes
turned to 2 hours
turned to 2 days
turned to 2 months
and now it’s turned to 2 years.
They say it gets better
when you lose a loved one.
They say you can get over it.
How is that true though,
when on her birthday I can’t help but cry?
When on the anniversary I work with tears in my eyes
avoiding looks from my coworkers
just to keep my pain hidden inside?
Even just days like my birthday I think of her.
2 years will turn into 4 years
to 6 to 8 to 10 years and things will never change.
I listened to my grandmothers breathing
Cat Woman playing on the tv in the background
her breathing slowing.
On days like today I think of her
and I sit here
and I write this poem with tears in my eyes.
and it hurts so much when she’s on my mind.
I miss her everyday
and while there are days it is easier
There are also days where it’s difficult just to get out of my bed
get up without crying and hold myself together.
It still hurts to think about
Cat Woman from 2 years ago.

I can’t wait until tomorrow is just a date again.
When it’s not a Friday night full of giggles and blushing and over-excited chatter.
When I don’t see myself running around telling anyone who will listen,
that I have the cutest boyfriend ever.
When it’s just my friends birthday-
not the night where I thought I’d smile for the rest of my life.
When it no longer makes me smile-
yes- It still makes me smile, even though things have changed.
I can’t wait until January 13th is just that-
another day.

I've finally woken, it's been a year.

Happy anniversary my lovely girl. Last night I moved over to take up all of my bed.

Somewhere in my mind and in my chest I was waiting for you to walk back in and cuddle next to me.

Tonight, I stopped leaving your space next to me.

I've finally woken.

I love you more
I spent three years writing poems about hate and sorrow
And then you came along and turned those "I despise you"s into "I love you"s like there's no tomorrow
I wish I could say it was hard for such a change, for such trust, but it wasn't
You made everything so ******* easy
Besides expressing this all through writing
Because even though I could right fragments of poems filled with "you complete me" and "you are the one" those didn't explain how you took all the fragments of my life and pieced them all together with your smile
And that smile is the one that caught me
That smile is the one that bought me when I wasn't even for sale
You could take that smile right off your face
Dump it in the sewer and stick it on a different place
And I would still love it
Just like I will always love you
Because I remember those high jokes
I remember that beer belly
I remember that long hair and un kept beard
But ya know what? I loved it,
I loved every inch and crevice and I knew I would for a long time
Then 6 months pass and that long hair turns into speckles
8 months and those high jokes become memories
9 months and that beer belly turns into a strong Core
12 months and that beard is forced by corrupt  corporations to become clean
But ya know what? I love it,
I love every inch and crevice and I know I will for a long time
And though those 12 months of change I've watched you grow and bloom
And go to the dumb bells from shrooms
And I feel proud
So even though you say you love me more
I've stuck with you through the thick and thin
Been there when you were a force of sin
And loved you all the same
As I always will

I am tired of waiting for December
with her white teeth and prolonged visions of lace veils
to get dressed
put her makeup on  
before taking the long road back to me
weary of her indirection
as if she can't remember the short way
as if she wouldn't drive 200 miles
guilt heavy in the trunk of her car
for being so far away
just to steer clear of me
because you can't build a fire
in the middle of an ice storm,
or her cold shoulder all the same.
There is no use in laying in the sun
when the possibility to thaw
is below 0.
I am tired of missing December
each time January melts away.

Another year's gone by
& here I sit dreading the hour to arrive.

Two a.m. will come too quick,
Laying in bed, starting to feel sick.

Replaying the harsh, vivid memory,
Like clockwork, hovering.

Tomorrow when I awake it will be,
The fifth year of innocence you've stolen from me.

Looking back, I realize it hasn't gotten better,
It hasn't gotten easier, I've just turned bitter.

I'm completely different than I wish I could be,
Looking back to December 27, 2008 wishing
I was able to change everything.

The best day of my life?
It's hard to pick one day.....
All those spent with my wife
Are the best I would say.

I seek your legalized ghost -
fold autumn's changing leaves
into my meagre words
& acorns & chestnuts
the way the starlight
dreams of the winter cold
the mill wheel of ***** Mills
the cafes with their chatter
all the things you can no longer see
& the kitchen radio is blasting ' Queen'
your favorite band with their hit
' Will somebody find me somebody to..'
I switch off at the last word
suddenly, just the way you switched off your life