do me a favor
are you having trouble
finding the door?
tell me are you lost
was the exit not
worth finding anymore?

you've been sitting in my head
for what seems like an hour or two
was it at least comfortable?
I think the space in my mind
is big enough for you

were you walking in circles?
are there blisters on your feet?
honey, you've been running on my mind
for the thirty second time
on repeat

it's not that I don't want you here
you're always free to wander in my dreams
just know it hurts a different kind of way
when you think about someone you can't keep

and as much as I want to kick you out
this run down mind of mine
rid me of infatuation
let heartache be a sign
but why do I remain stubborn
still I let you stay
promising myself to
free this heart from you the next day

empty promises soon fade
maybe tomorrows turn into maybe nots
I let you make yourself at home
within this foolish heart you caught

by now you might be wondering
what am I to do?
the simple answer is nothing
but then again I haven't got a clue

who knows? maybe indifference isn't the ideal
what's a girl gotta do to make her wishes real?
Paying it no mind won't make it hurt any less
but don't worry
looking at you from afar is what I do best

the only way i can describe the way you made me feel was pure ecstasy.
now you make me ache like an old would on a cold day,
temporarily forgotten,
never gone.
why can't i rid you?
everything feels like a dream,
and i can't wake up.

brother knows you better
brother knows you the best
he stands beside you, steady
as they lay your lover to rest

“i’m sorry,” he whispers, softly and slowly
why is it now that he chooses to be kind?
when all that you have ever wanted
is now six feet under, left behind

weeks later still, he watches you with sorrow
and under the weight of his gaze, you crack
anger flares and strikes
“why do you look at me like that?”

he turns his head away
but you’re stubborn and won’t turn back
“what loss have i suffered that you must be
so sorry, and look at me like that?”  

brother had always been a poet
he had always been soft with words
but the ones that gave his answer
this time, they really did hurt

“tell me,” you had demanded,
your breath puffing under the sun.
he had smiled bitterly as he replied—
                                        “a great one.”

Delicacy in its purest form
Might have cried a tear tonight
Torn a chipper down foreworn
Tickled pink in fright

She wants to ****
To die in black
Not so simple anymore
She’s aches and whack

Can she feel the naught?
Cultural worthlessness
She is an endearment
They’ll **** her if she’s anything more

Baby

i'm rewriting my past
and rebuilding my mind;
i've been killing myself
just to feel alive,
but it doesn't work anymore.
so i'm learning to dream,
and it's hard to believe,
but i don't really want to die.
i'm rewriting my past
and letting my fears go;
i've been killing myself
just to feel alive,
but that's not who i am
anymore.

the covers reeked of future snitches that have walked hand-in-hand to faraway plateaus,
though you still lingered around the bedsheet covers and covered yourself up a few times on some sinew.
though even in your clothes that danced in the forefathers of our black hues, black skies and distant melodies.
our rhythms were patterned,
constructed on symphonies that were all for someone else's and not for both of us.

scooting farther though your hair is just a tickle away
we were abounded on this journey, not for love but for mercy
because the Gods inside of us wanted for some sacrilegious handshakes that lasted like never. claymores that we detonated not by mistake but because that's how we work.
we explode, here, there, somewhere and everywhere.

and our fragile remnants, broken bits and irregular jigsaw puzzles weren't patched on our totality
but because on day one He proclaimed that we were too far for Paris' synergy and you could say that, 'we were just lab rats on the name of a pitiful love.'

but, promise me.
that on the Hereafter of our ethereal love that never wanted plastics to seek,
for cigarette sticks burning with menthol spices to speak,
that we'd never allow hotel rooms to touch and witness another horrid circumstance as this.
because we shrugged our shoulders at the lobby of our tinkles and solitaire games that 'we'd please,'

no one but us.

well, the Gods lied.
and they haven't spoken any words of their own.
maybe, they died somewhere on the coasts of later yesterday rides
because we were too fast.

Sorry, mom says I can’t
kiss you - even with grape,
Lysol, safety lipstick  =/

Harsh pandemic facts
and parents stand against us.
What a hazardous waste!

My love, I will be here.
I will be here on nights that all you wanna do is cry and all I wanna do is watch you because I enjoy seeing you in pain.
If I could only take more pain possible and let it wreck you from the inside out every night, I would.
I will be with you on days that feels like weeks
and I will try to make the days feel like years instead.
If I could only shove the sun aside and bring forth darkness to your daylight, I would.
I will stay and sit with you through the dark
so I can make sure that you wouldn't find the switch before I do. The only light you'll ever need is the one you'll see in the end of my wrath's tunnel.
I will protect you until the end
from finding your happiness. You are safe enough inside the cage of my pain,
I will not let go of you,
where do you think you'll go other than here in our bed of daggers made from your remorse and my resentment?
I will hold you closer with the strongest grip of my now unable hand everytime.

There's nothing you can ever do to lose me,
as much as there's nothing I can ever do to love and trust you again.
Being with you, I knew I've brought this upon myself.
Messing with me, you never knew you're gonna see this coming, knocking you from your senses.

Through the gloom and in bloom,
for worse and for the worst,
for richer and for poorer
In sickness and in madness,
to hate and wait for you to perish
everyday we'll crush each other's hearts
I promise even death won't keep us apart.

💍

I’m not sure what got me more—
the denial or the apathy,
when you said,
“That’s just you
being a lazy teenager,”
or when she said,
“Okay.
If you really wanna pay for it.”

Anticlimactic moments
but after working up to it,
should I have
expected anything differently?
After all the angst
and the put on confidence,
it just resulted in that,
and now I’ll go see
if there’s relief
to be found in a professional.

i never got to love him—
i never got to love the man who would cause a botanical garden to grow in my stomach.
vines to grow throughout my lungs until flowers sprouted from my lips.
the thorns grew thick and wrapped around my vocal cords.
that’s why when you left i couldn’t speak,
i couldn’t say anything to make you stay.
therefore, i picked all the flowers, softly from my lips,
as a final farewell—
a few daisies to remember me by.