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Mariah 11h
I hate myself
But that's okay
I'll like myself better
Another day

I don't have to hope
I know
With me
That's just how it goes

Just like a stray
I won't always show my face

Give it time
I'll be fine

I know my ways
It always pays
To give me space
It's best to let me go-
at my own pace

I'll come back if it's right
If it's worth the fight

I know my wobbly heart
Would pick it apart
Trying to find the art

If it's worth it
It will hard

And maybe if I'm lucky
It might leave a you shaped scar
silvervi 18h
Phone-diction
Became a conviction
Everyone is bound
Without exception

Phone-world
Offers no restriction
It's a convenient space
No eviction

Phone-time
Equals the injection
Of dopamine
There's no rejection

Phone-crime
Doesn't yet exist
Each year a new smartphone
Seems hard to resist

A phone back in time had this function:
Connection,
These days oftentimes - it's the opposite action,
In search of warmth, love and appreciation,
We lose ourselves in phone-solation.
Hopefully this poem can make us become more aware of the madness we're supporting on a daily basis and for starters not take our phone to each room wherever we go. Maybe reading tonight instead of playing that phone game. Maybe calling a friend instead of texting. Maybe turning it off for an hour or two. I believe we can find healthier ways through this. We're not alone and together we can motivate each other. I want to open that space, to start that conversation. The new "normal" can be actually very damaging.
Isaac C 1d
i hate you for not liking me
for the way that you ignore me
subconsciously, i know i'm beat
you gaslight me so subtly

just know that i have had enough
you hit my limit, and i changed
i'm much too tough, like jerky in
the hands of teething babies

whatever is whatever
do you sense the carelessness?

honestly,
i feel powerless
like a meteorologist
who mispredicts
and makes a wish
to change the weather
to fix his predicament

he can't deal with it,
but i am different
i don't run away
from how i feel

acceptance of rejection's
my best option

i think you
think i'm rotten

i understand, and
i think that's valid
my mind deteriorates
like week-old salad

but give it some time
even if, right now,
you see no reason
to trust me

you'll come to find
that i'm an alright guy

just know that i
can feel the vibes

whatever is whatever
that, i won't deny

but, still, i want to
feel some pleasure

it's ironic how cathartic
being honest is

it's kind of nice
to say whatever's
on my mind

i guess the pleasure's mine,
but whatever is whatever,
so either way is fine

you treat me like a
red-headed stepchild

we never connected
with an umbilical cord
but, still, you managed
to cut ties

you're toxicity
is bad for me

goodbye

goodbye

goodbye

it's sad that you'll see me later
probably in no time
i have no follow through
i'm not resolute
but whatever is whatever
that, i won't deny
all the lords shut silent in worry
as the sky fall, how did i started it

i hike the stairs just to feel my heart race
never felt more alone, now i know it

you don’t wanna care, bye
said you’re gonna come, lie
it’s my own fight, right
caught in the storm, died

was it guilt that turned your mighty face
wanna clean your hands, hate me instead
thanks
thanks for everything

all these dark emotions unlocked
at least i let this anger out
they said i was fool for accepting
it’s fine i learned and healing
I can't forgive you
I can't forget you
So I will wait
Until you crawl back
I will yell at you, be furious
Shout, cry, be stubborn
Until it's all out
I want it all out
Take it all
So I can take you back
***** is what you are
***** is grunge under the nails
How your gritty tales told pail
In comparison to your dingy secrets
Infectious with your soiled lies
Excrement from bitter lips
Words that never did or ever will mean ****,
Exit from your waste-filled ships.

***** is what you are,
In this way, toxic barrels rot the frogs
Or how you irradiated touch melts minds,
A walking cancer cell, and everything you say is terminal
You’re what turtles suffer, plastic nooses
To hang your head upon loose laurels kept,
***** is all that you are.

***** is what you are,
It’s diesel exhaust exhausting to deal with you
Laborious and full of smog
All for the hope you could find an in
And in the end, gaslight me again.

***** is what you are,
Like toxic markers, or lead paint
And the more you color, the more I’m unimpressed
You are sadness incarnate,
You have bad habits by definition,
And the more you try to get close
I remind myself why I fly further away.

***** is what you are.
We all have toxic people we wish would ******* and leave you be.
Devil in your eyes
Devils always lie
Keep your hands seated to the side
Don’t you dare come close unless you’re willing to die

Keep away
Walk away
Stay far from me

Demon on your tongue
****** likes it rough,
Red flags paper the verdant eyes
And I’m fading into madness
Bullseyes locked onto the danger

Keep away,
Walk away,
Stay away from me?

Secrets in serpent tongues
Slithering in your grassy knolls
Desperate to assassinate my love
I remain bulletproof,
Reading your ritual tomes,
Sacrifice your dignity for a little notice
Did that attention give you all you ever wanted?
When you’re knee deep in your bile and sick?

Keep away,
Walk away,
Stay far away from me
Go there, now, away from me.
something i write messing with drum and bass lines in garageband and fiddling on the guitar
Sew my ******* eyes open
and never let me sleep.
Watch until my blues run red
               and you've
          shown me what's
                     to see.

Tell the story of your golden crown,
you platinum-plated ****.
Let me know how brazen trumpets sound
               when filling up
                     with spit.

It's not enough to hate you.
And it's not enough to cry.
Crying havoc through your perfect teeth:
      it's much worse than a lie.

                          So lay me down on
                        5th street train tracks
                     where the old bums go to
                                       die.
                  Then roll out on your cart of
                                golden coin
                         and break some toys.

Play the game of pampered princes
      painted like paupers and ******.
Zip that costume up and hit the alleys.
                Catch a fix.
     Or a "swift one off the wrist."

Tug my bruising eyeballs out
and lay me down to bed.
Awake until the red turns black
               and your
           mouth starts spit-
               -ting lead.

Tell the story of your paper crown,
you hollow-hearted ****.
Let you know how hunting hounds do howl
      when crawling in
             the muck.

                       "You ain't nothin' but an *******,"
                     and "I don't believe in nothin' you're
                                  trying to prove."
(The Falcon)
Excerpt(s) Citation:

The Falcon. "The Fighter, The Rube, The *******." Gather Up the Chaps. Red Scare Industries, 2016. Various Formats.
facing online screen
my harnessed heart hardens
        harassed collectively
An Anti Haiku
notes :
etch//my harnessed heart hardens / harried collectively / in muddled company /living the exhaustive betray online / engraving on the permabrain with harrowing / events of foreigners / strangers / and those punished by history / never passed  / just processed / repeatedly and refined / fits of mistruth teething missionarily away / peppered and interjected with visionary ads, funnies, farces and gossips / then follows enraged and reactive whippings and opinions / but what really takes hold / is the fear that comes when their is nothing to fear /fear installed undergrowing basic life
additional notes :
existence relaxed becomes a persistence/strained/an aimed thing that comes/when their is nothing on your plate/biting back/everything surrounds tight but nothing is attacking/nothing is wrong... yet/but your anxious mind knows all the things/reading about this online/rejects comfort/a guilty attachment remains/and the harnessed heart hardens
You are my emotional weather, always changing,
Each mood is like a season rearranging.
Your joy is like warm summer's day,
Sunshine and laughter in every way.

Your sadness falls like gentle rain,
A monsoon of tears are a quiet pain.
Yet, you anger is a like winter's cold,
Stormy winds and thunders, I can't hold.

But through all of this, I've to remind,
My each day is shaped in your emotions and mind.
In your road of emotions, I'll drive,
For you my dear is my weather, I'll strive.

By
Sanji-Paul Arvind
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