Last night I longed for the morning sun.
   I wished for its warmth; I prayed for its light.
Coz the night felt so cold; seemed so dark; stabbed so blunt.
   Indignant, why can't the morning sun brightens my sorrowed night?

At dawn, the morning sun was delivered to me.
   With its glow and radiance, its glory and beauty.
O Morning Sun, the desired one; how I wish I could stare.
   But I was humbled by your glare; shamed by your flare.

So I hid myself in the shadow of a tree.
   Peeking through the branches,
      marvelling at what I can't see.
I closed my eyes, seeking the stillness in me,
   Through my eyes it dances,
      and my heart beholding its beauty.

O Morning Sun; your love - so mighty and abundant.
   You were there through the night, in my tears and my despondent.
O Morning Sun; your love - illuminates and enlightens.
   Through the soft breeze, the sweet chirps, the elegant *****,
      the dewy grass and the earthly fragrance.
I opened my eyes as a flower abscised fell on me,
   Instantly astonished by the sight of the dancing light,
      on the leaves of the tree.
Through the lake, the sky, and millions of miles
   - yet your reflection is all I can see.
How could have I aggrieved through the night
   - when the darkness set alight in me.

Your presence is too bright, so glorious and beautiful.
   Your absence is to be felt, as guidance for the fool.
As I slipped and I fell, coz the darkness felt so cruel,
   Let the cut goes deeper, feel the pain in wakeful.

O Morning sun, ease me of my worry.
   Look up to the proud moon, reflecting your beauty.

My aching heart, my yearning soul,
A deeper cut, and weary role.
Fill me in, let me grow,
Help me out, let me flow. ❤️

We are smiling aren't we?We are happy,look at us!
We are walking with so much gait and grace,we certainly love our lives don't you see?
But.... you don't know what happens inside our smiles.Smiling is a strenuous exercise for me,and laughing is an act.
Yet,.....there you are.... you would **** to be me.You say you would do anything.
Oh! Poor naive you, you don't know what it's like to be me,do you? You don't know how it feels to have to pretend all your life ,and all for what,.... being born into nobility?Being married into riches,.. being related to power and influence?
My feet are exhausted from walking this life,they are swollen because I always have to step on thorns and still keep a straight face,.....to smile.You don't want that.
I am a ticking time bomb,am on edge and I feel like ..no, I know,I will snap and be gone.I am eagerly waiting for that day,weird huh? You expect me to be proud and grateful don't you? You expect me to live life to the fullest yet all I feel is emptiness,a hollow haunting echo inside of me.
Oh! I forgot,... you don't know anything, that's why am still your idle......let me just laugh to myself, for I don't think you can ever understand.

sometimes I just want it to stop
not for it to end
just enough for me to catch a little breath
just enough to keep up with the rest
just enough to laugh so hard my tummy starts to ache
just enough to enjoy those little moments, without worrying what's coming next
just enough to find myself again
just to know what I'm living for
before everything is too late