Woke up this morning with a screaming headache
It’s 6am and I have to be at work by 8am
Feeling like I didn’t get enough sleep but have I ever?
Say a short prayer, that should make it all okay
I clean up as fast as I can,
but not without hurting my gums while brushing
Maybe once I had something to eat, it would all be better
Opened the fridge and the crate of egg falls off, Hol’up
I wanted scrambled eggs but not in this manner for sure
Aaahhh, I need some tea even though coffee would be ideal
But I did run out yesterday. Sigh.
Water’s boiling and I’m trying to get some of it into a cup
But the kettle cover falls off and the hot water spills on my hands
Burning me; today surely isn’t my day is it?
Tea’s ready, but I’m running late now, so I’m taking it to work
Got into the car, humming a feel good tune and sipping tea
Returning the cup to the holder now and again
Then I hit an unfortunate gallop, and the tea spills all over the car
It’s exactly 7.30am and my whole day looks like the mess in the car
I get to the office, couldn’t clean up the car, traffic enroute, made sure
I was more than 5 minutes late; I sign the register before the lateness line
Is ruled; something relatively good yeah? Yeah?
I’m walking to my office door, and somehow the key to my office breaks as I’m
Trying to open the door, no kidding.
They say they will fix it later and I pitch in one of the other empty offices
I’m on my desk, slow day so not much to do
Loud crashing sound, I’m awake and hurting on the office floor
Cos apparently I dosed off and fell off my chair
It’s not until break time and even more, the absurd amusing gazes I’m getting
That I realize I’m wearing different legs from two different shoes colored differently
And of cos my pants got torn at the back from the fall earlier.
Imagine how I looked and to think the day was only half spent.
Where could I have possibly gone wrong today?!

This is the way skin stretches over bones.
Almost like saran wrap,
almost like a corset,
preserving the inside,
keeping everything tucked in tight,
all that blood and all those cells,
all that ambition and emotion,
desire, and devotion;
The kind of stuff we’re made of,
The kind of stuff that makes us human.

This the way we bleed.
Cut ourselves open and come clean;
veins spill secrets and regrets,
broken promises and mistakes
dormant dreams and all the chances we didn’t take,
in only a soft whisper and only at night,
with a body beside us, that won’t run in fright.
The kind of blood that trickles hesitantly then pours out unapologetically,
The kind of blood that makes us human.

This is the way we swallow,
the same love over and over again.
Our bellies tired of digesting the same love,
the same spoiled milk kind of love.
past the expiration date kind of love,
you’ll just in up with a stomachache kind of love.
We keep drinking only because there is nothing else that makes us feel this full.
Because everything else doesn’t compare to the way the sour taste sits on your tongue like it’s meant to be there,
like it’s the only spoiled milk you ever want to drink;
like the stars aligned just for this moment,
just for this one sip.
Because it’s the only love we’ve ever known.
The kind of love that stretches like skin over bones;
the kind of love that resembles the scent of your grandfather’s cologne;
the kind of love that makes no sense, but at least it never makes us feel alone.
The kind of love that makes us raw, tender, human.

I have studied the bruises on my legs,
Each one unique in it's own way like snowflakes but not as beautiful.
Not only are my legs filled with these blots of discoloration, they fill me as well.
My stomach aches with the touch of your hand.
My Lungs wince with the scent of your skin.
My heart is slowly caving in on itself with the intent of your every word.
And my brain,
Oh my brain, is being trapped in its own cloudy judgment that your every being created
Leaving me and my emotions so it dismembered that there is nothing left.
Only little particles of dust that I only beg that you breathe in.
So that I can destroy every bit of your insides, just as you did mine.

I have a splinter in my heart
right in the middle point between the left atrium and the right ventricle.

A little husk of a beechtree seed
landed on the fragment of wood that now lives within me
and it cannot be removed or I will bleed all over and dry out.

It’s putting down roots on my cardial muscle tissue
one day it will break free, reaching for the stars.

So ugly yet so beautiful at once

The symbol of death but the framework of life

So complex yet so simply, so plainly: white

The suspect said the thought bubbled up in her mind
and grew a silver, shimmery shell
It rolled down, pepto bismol freeway
snaking through her brain
It bounced down the neon back roads of her nervous system
She said it took its **** sweet time enjoying the view
It turned to mercury in her veins and slithered its way into her system
The suspect said she never saw it coming
Because “[my] sanity never said we was playing hide n’ seek”

Tell me you love me
With unending measure
My heart will bleed gold
Like a chest full of treasure

Beating and breathing
My thorax expands
With pumps of gold blood
From this heart to your hands

You make my heart whole
Once you draw near
So tell me you love me
For I need to hear.

to be
kneaded,
in squashy,
jelly ecstasy,

falling over
tumultuous,
a largess of
festivity,

woman,
not as much
as your walk,
talk or nature,

but that one
boom-rocket,
eminent, salient
feature,

lickety, suckety,
twistety, pressety,
lurety, bitety,
fever,

closety, graspety,
claspety, grabety,
clungety, playety,
severe,

twins to be
tended, a little
gorge, to lash
tongue betwixt,

to be clasped,
lurch after
each tip,
tender,

half-earths,
cast on a
potter's wheel,
sun baked,

shaped in
rain's fluidity,
winter's rigidity,
summer fire,

lover's calm,
luster's oasis,
sumptuous,
lush spread,

breeze at
a tree top,
monuments
in rhapsody...

I will drag my knife along your skin,
sharp blade down into your fragile, shaking canvas,
incising an increasing beat of whimpers and whines.
Please hold still. I promise this will hurt.

I will expose your clattering bones,
rip out your chattering teeth,
erase every impugned utterance
you muttered against me.
I will carve my letters slowly
on your unzipped frame,
sliding the burgundy blood across to
blot
       clot
              dot.    

This is only preparation for what is about to follow.

I will puncture your throbbing organs,
slash your stretched cartilage
with an unwritten script.
Before I press further,
I’ll assure you, you are still alive.

I will twist each phrase,
haunt you to believe it is your fault,
force you to beg the slightest escape.
I will permanently etch my name
deep in the frozen chambers
of your quivering heart.

I will open up the blueprint as a demolition expert,
remove whole fractions of your fractured soul,
leave you a horrid wreck in the abyss
of a mess you just made.

You will not get rid of me,
though no trace of evidence is left behind.

My hands have been clean from the start.