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always anxious Sep 2014
Im alive
But i feel dead
Im choking
On my own breath

Im myself
But still someone else
Deciding who to be
Is a living hell

All these things
All this stuff
It ruins me
It fills me up

Im burning down
Im tearing up
Just take it away
Please make it stop
always anxious Sep 2014
Shes just a child
Whos ready to die
She took her gun
Shes been deprived
She pulls the trigger
And spreads her wings
Another angel
Suicide brings
always anxious Sep 2014
So happy
Yet secretly so dark

So loved
but yet she hates herself

Shes like every one else
But yet so different
Liz Sep 2014
Mommy told me about her dream
I looked like a skeleton
And she was begging me to eat
She really did
always anxious Sep 2014
never have i ever
felt this empty
never have i ever
been this sad

never have i ever
been so lonely
never have i ever
gone this mad

never have i ever
been so lonely
never have ever
been so close to choke

never heave i ever
done so badly
never have i ever
found it this hard to cope

(s.l.g)
MBishop Sep 2014
These calories have made their way into my dreams
A place where I used to feel comfortable
Like anything could happen and I was, for the most part, optimistic
They've infected my subconscious and now
I'm not allowed to have that imaginary meal for fear
It may put on some imaginary weight.

I used to say you were the only thing that consumed my sleep
But I'd be lying if I say that this isn't an increasing occurrence, these numbers
These numbers, always in the forefront of my mind
Never leaving me alone for a moment to think
With infected sleep, there's no safe place for me
No place to run from these numbers, these *calories
just a girl Aug 2014
a broken mirror a bleeding fist
a silver blade against a wrist
tears falling down to lips unkissed
ignore her and she wont exist
she's not hte kind you'll come to miss

**(c.m.h)
if i  wasn't gay
would you still tell me i'm brave
if i didn't self harm
would you still tell me i'm strong
if i wasn't depressed
would you still say you love me
if i wasn't starving myself
would you still tell me i'm beautiful
if i didn't try to **** myself
would you still tell me life is worth living
if i didn't cry
would you still tell me i have every reason to smile
if i wasn't scared
would you still hold my hand
if i didn't have insomnia
would you still stay up with me
if i didn't panic
would you still tell me that everything's alright
if i didn't love you
would you still  be kind
if i  didn't try
would you stop trying too?
if i wasn't broken
would you still try to fix me?

i don't want to be
uninteresting.
partly inspired by Neil Hilborn : "...because  the sadness is the old paint under the new it's the house fire or the broken shoulder. I'd still be me without it, but I'd be so ... boring. "
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