a bloom not I sniff on its wax
yet soap in its name.
Is chime an echo
shuttling between shores clenched and surfs wrinkled?

Forthcoming. Impending. Violating.
Could thou help me to say this?
that I was in out of my depth.
Over-night granola, Mixed-berry fizz, Planet-Traveler hues.
Could thou let me shelve vacancy?
that I’d be sobbing for its mess.
Signature Choco cake named here sole with latte all around globe
some taste brewed here sole.
How hot and heavy and hazy
this existence savors.
But—
there is Thank you, the simple words that turns us into lamplighters
who walk each other home, through the night never seems to end
fluxing, always, always. after all.
before all.

A beam of apathy.

Hithernay I lapse in the liquid fear
of drifting afar from all flowed through me, a terrifying truth
that strikes, falters, and aches.
On shaft of daylight I look fine
but look behind my eyes, everything
is new until it’s old.
An osmosis of remembrance wafts across the lake frozen
I gazed tears streaming down its face
and was told: every metamorphosis a co-passenger brought you
continues the voyage with you on behalf of him.

Would I get over it?

Anon I find the galactic city model of the mind
too cold to defy
as I expend three minutes hesitating shall I do it or not
that could be done within the three minutes
so it’s left undone, with an ongoing groan.
I yearn for rationality is too spiny and messy and illusory
like a broadcast of self-deed that never ever pitch a well guess.
But—
nothing come decipherable until I seek
to return with hands empty of dictions indecipherable.
I love the debris of word that I don’t understand, that
I build brick by brick.
Euphoria stumbles in what is
and what isn’t here.

Chimeric.

This time, at ease I walk into the place scrawled by unfamiliarity
of all kinds, giddy, amorphous, variegated,
not without my muse.
Hovering, the Wayfinder exhales
an attuning overture,
an astringent taste of cacophony.
“Free is the feeling they can’t take from thee.”
a rustle not I shivered in
yet took a leap towards.

Through the bullet-spiked walls of unseen wars
analogy hums a thousand suns
as warriors bury a thousand letters.

You hate my printed tees and high top shoes,
you disapprove that I still wear my toque in June.
Always saying that I ruin the plot too soon.
You don’t know your worth, you are my Earth
my sun and my moon.

It’s how you get my smile to touch my cheek,
and the way you get my knees feeling weak.
The ten things that you hate about me,
are outnumbered by the things you’re loving.

You hate my shark shorts even though they’re cozy,
you can look past it because you’re the only one who truly knows me.
I’m tripping on words, the ones you prefer
because you know I’m clumsy.
You say I’m too loud, or my head in a cloud,
but the way that I feel I’m always showing.

It’s the way that you look me right in my eyes,
and how you still manage to give me butterflies.
The ten things that you hate about me,
are outshined by the things you’re seeing.

You hate when my hair gets too long,
and when my cologne smells too strong.
You hate when I exaggerate during fights
and when I snore during late nights.

Just the way that our fingers interlace,
and how you get that look on your face.
The ten things that you hate about me,
are just quirks, you’re making it work,
as you still get to know me.

I miss you.... It's quite ridiculous how much, I knew I would in many ways because we had somehow become one, but I did not think it would be like this.... I truly did not prepare for this
it's unbelievable how essential you had become to me
I know I should not have to make you love me any more by giving myself away like this, but I love you and foolishly I would have done anything for you
all of a sudden missing you had not become so simple....
it was something I held on to to remember you, have any sort of proof to say I really knew you, but in all the holding on I had lost parts of myself and this whole ordeal had become not so wholesome.
I do not resent you, I love you too much for that even still,
you had broken down all my defenses or I had let you that part is unclear
but either way it does not matter because even now even after everything I love you, and truly I think even from afar I'll continue too.
but please know I will always miss you

I am always
One call away
One text away
One email away
One street away
From you
I am always
There for you
But you are always
One step
Away from me

One year down the road,
two years back behind.
Neither has a sign saying closed,
not that we would pay it any mind.
Indecision is killing us
choking so hard we can barely breathe.
I buried all of our trust
and then beg you not to grieve.

While it’s always been you I adore
I can’t decide if I love or hate myself more.
It eats me alive just like cancer
but I know and I show, us both
the real answer.

Try to illustrate your soul
but my pallet’s lacking the tones.
I tried to pay the tickets and toll
by trading sticks and stones.
A promise I should’ve kept,
but sometimes it’s just too hard,
and so I watched as you wept
just as predicted by the tarot card.

While it’s always been you I adore
it’s been the wrong side I’ve been fighting for.
I chose my tactics and my plays,
to get through that it’s true,
It’s still you
all time and always.

She says “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby,
when you do that **** it makes me feel crazy.”
“You can’t even look me square in the face,
and you’ve always had an accent I just couldn’t place.”
She says “don’t call me kid, don’t call me love,
you took everything that I ever dreamt of
all of it is now poisoned laced,
or you tried to erase but it can’t be replaced.”

I could never put her on a shelf;
These aren’t feelings I’ve ever felt
just for anyone else.
I’m sure she knows **** well,
for her I’d crawl my body through hell.
All time and always.

You wanted my words
you’ve wanted my thoughts,
and all that you’ve heard;
It’s my heart that you’ve got.
Love I’m right here
and I forever will be,
my lips will brush your ear
for all eternity.

I’ll bathe in your soul
and I’ll drown in your eyes
you will make me whole
and you will light my skies.
Love; I am blind
for you’re all I can see,
but I will never mind
for all eternity.

She speaks to me in poetry
in calligraphy and with cartography,
and bestows upon me these blessings;
endless dreams and epiphanies.
I correspond with you and you to me,
attached and complimenting eachother as a wave to the sea.
Upon our flesh two puzzle pieces as each completing,
Darling I could never resist, quickly defeating.

You keep each secret like a stone
before you put it into your pocket.
And I don’t ever want you to feel alone,
you’ve got me locked up like a locket.
Your luscious hair isn’t the only weight
that lies upon your soft shoulders.
And I just want to be in your future and current state,
so let me pick up and carry those boulders.

So please don’t you ever abandon me
like Lipton’s alligator soup and Altoids sour candy.

There will always be reasons to quit. Sometimes, your body may even reward you for it.
"Quit starving yourself. Look at you.
You're miserable. Help me help you.
Just one smoke. Just one drink. And that's it. No more headaches. No more shakes.
You'll feel like you can think clearly again."
And your body's right. You will feel better. Because change can be painful.
Especially if you're trying to do it alone.
But the saying is true.
If you can push through the pain,
your body will be grateful eventually. And you will gain a new lease on life.