Even if I leave this demon on an island in the past
I feel like my mind will still be attached
They hit me with adrenaline pens in a panicked blur,
A fifteen minute relief pretending to work on a cure.
Looking through the eyes of a rabbit
Every harp string starts to hum
Staring over these oceans that begin to turn to ***
Try to convince me, by casting all these spells
But this water isn't fixing anything when they poison all the wells
They tell us to keep sailing, despite the brutal winds
As the sun is fading, the tide is setting in.

Look at me and say, "you're an inconvenience to us"
Like my soul is insignificant, blowing away like dust
My only privilege asked is that you let me breathe
In a room full of untrust, still they don't let me leave
My voice starts to wheeze, they don't listen.
I'm in a position to beg people to let me breathe.
My heart rate quickens, wishing I could just be freed,
A time bomb around my neck, no one holds the key.

I smile for today, the sun is shining, keeping storms at bay
Even if forcasted, Armageddon is on its way.
Don't expect the kids to sit inside, let them dance in puddles
You can't go along for the ride living in these bubbles
Avoidance is simple, but I'd rather take a chance with trouble
I'll smile all the while, until the day I meet my death
I'm in a position to beg people to let me breathe
But you won't hear me speak a plea until my dying breath

I kissed the Ocean and she said she was the Sea
During the season of allergies I sneeze with no intention of apologizing
I don't put things behind me
the construction workers outside don't care if I'm sleeping
they keep cutting down trees and I keep weeping because
I. Can't. Sleep.
Big Oil like that doesn't like me
says the green in my blood is a lie
I say I keep my ties and preserve
unlike you monkeys getting what you don't deserve

I know I'm not winning but I know I have the cause and effect of sea breeze
You don't notice me but I'm there I am so there
And when I pick up and show you my hurricane you're scared
but I promise you I'm just letting you know I'm there
Asking you to tell me you care

Green buds peep out of the
Stone cold earth
Defiant
Rearing their heads to the sun, their leaves unfurl
Stretching from a long winter's nap
Longing to ascend to the brightest point in the sky
Or to be the next best thing
Colors develop, going from
Light verdigris to
Translucent periwinkle to
Show-stopping magenta
In a couple of days
Their petals
The most delicate of velvet
Like stroking a butterfly's wing
And as their beauty transforms the world from unforgiving
To something magical
I sneeze.

I walked outside to smell some flowers,
Their anthers blowing in the breeze
But while my plan was to sniff them for hours,
What sprung up?
It wasn't weeds.

As I bent down to smell the roses,
And the brilliant, white daisies
Suddenly I felt a tickle in my nose
What really sprung up?
My allergies!

Hot and sticky
this yellow pollen is
plugging up
it so seems
my entire head
I can't think straight
my mind is blank
my nose feels
twice as large
my brain is full of cotton
I can't hear
a single thing you say
The streets
are covered
in this dreaded color
Until the next day
when a heavenly cloud  
is spotted
and luckily another
and then another
a single drop descends
and is followed
It  banishes
the hot sticky air
to be replaced
by a wet and fresh smell
the yellow pollen
is washed away
from the streets
and my head

It take too long to realize that I'm nearest to death. I thought it was just a simple allergies that i could encounter but i was wrong, any minute my heart could positively stop because of the unpleasant beat. I cant even enjoy swimming within an hour because of the cold water. Even air in the morning. I have to scratch my whole body and cant even enjoy the blist of the morning air. And the worst part is that, it was a lifetime treatment. I don't know if i could take it whenever my body is getting thick and hurt or whenever i cant breath or I'm shaking. I'm getting tiered of being self pity, its like i cant even help my self and i need others to do that. Em i that luck enough?? I was always in the hospital ever since, I'm always sick and diagnose in everything. I wish i was just normal as others. But i guess I'll just treat this as a gift from God. Well I'm just blessed after all* :)

I'm a human
man I can't believe
this weather
it's killing me
germs
germs
germs
when will they learn
my nose isn't a playground
they know, I know
I can't say no
it's a clogged kitchen sink
I can't tell if my **** stinks
tissue
tissue
tissue
military issue
sinus warfare
it's so unfair

The sun is grey
Yet it lights up the day
Not all who see understand
The sight they view
I personally barely see past the grey
Yes there is blue in the world
Yes indeed there are lots of colors
Some people are color blind.
I only see color sometime
I am constantly battling the mania
Which can be described as all the colors attacking at once
And battling depression
Which is blankness attacking and the voices telling you to JUMP!
Whispering JUMP!!!!
Do it! You won't...
There sweet voices pleading.
Jump you beautiful girl.
People will love you on the other side.
You will be appreciated in the other world.
In the next world.
You belong there.
Just jump! Follow the light sweet girl.
Don't call me that!
Only one person I know can call me that and you are not her.
She is the reason I stay in this world.
It's not my time yet.
One day it will be, but not yet.
There's feeling behind the music I listen to.
"When my time comes around lay me gently in the cold hard ground." Not a day too soon.
I want to spend everyday on earth with the people who don't make me worthless.
Yes I understand I am sick in a few ways but I am getting better. Mentally I am being cured by having friends. My little nerdy sweet friend. ❤️ Love you!
And even though I will never not be allergic to majority of the things I eat and the allergies are getting worse and more are popping up its okay because I am happy now and know I have people who would care if I died. So I silence the thought and go right up to the people who care. They love me and I love them.

I keep words unspoken,
Letters uncombined,
A theme unwritten.

I write words through moments,
Creating memories,
Leaving a past that lasts.

I profusely give silence,
To those whom try to convey,
And now a loner in a glass fence.

Allergic to socializing,
I keep mine emotions from expressing,
And I retain the evidence of longing.

I keep my days short of being social,
And keep peoples ****** lies distant,
Not famous cause am always Local.