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Mystic Ink Plus Apr 2020
I Don't Want To
Hide Tonight
I Don't Want To
Cry Tonight
I Don't Want To
Lie Tonight
I Don't Want To
Be Numb Tonight
I Don't Want To
Die Tonight

Let Me Witness
The Next Sun Rise
The Birth Of Spring
The Dreams Come True
The Whispering Moon
The New Year's Sky
Or Just Another Day

I Don't Want To...
I Don't Want To...
I Don't...
I
Calm Before The Storm
Too Late, But Still
The Last Will
The Last Gasp
Before Silence
He/She Said
Genre: Clinical Dark--> Inspirational
Theme: Healthcare || Reality Check || Deterioration || In the background of COVID-19
Cerasium Mar 2020
Take this glue
And seal my heart
Fix the cracks
Which are leaking black

Save my soul
From rotting away
This pain is becoming
Unbearably real

My love is too strong
To just vanish like you want
It’s like a fire burning
Threatening to turn into ash

Place your hand
Upon my heart
And feel the blaze
That still remains

Growing stronger
With each passing day
I beg my heart
To stop this display

But to my dismay
It doesn’t listen
It does what it wants
Even if it causes pain

I beg and I plead
For this agony to end
For my suffering to stop
But it will never come

I try to distract myself
Distract my heart and mind
Put them on something else
Anything at all

But you always seem
To come crawling in
Setting my heart ablaze
And my mind turns dark

My love for you
Won’t stop growing
No matter how hard I try
My mind can’t stop it

The heart wants what the heart wants
Or at least that’s how the saying goes
But right now it feels like all it wants
Is to destroy itself through endless suffering

With just a simple flutter of a thought
My day could turn from the happiest I’ve had
To the darkest in which I dread
Begging for the end of time

Oh how I miss our talks
I miss waking up to you
I miss you holding me as I fall asleep
Feeling safe from the night terrors that creep

I miss the way you smiled
When you looked my way
The way you joked around
To cheer me up on a rainy day

I miss the comfort you gave me
The laughs we shared
The embraces that kept me warm inside
Warning the darkness to step aside

But now I’m alone
There is no safety
I’m terrified to sleep
And even more so to wake

This feeling inside me
Grows stronger and stronger
I don’t know how much more I can take
Before this life is pushed to the end

When I get excited
I instinctively turn my head
Thinking you are still by my side
But then I see there’s no one there

I stare at the empty spot on my bed
The one that you use to fill
And tears start to fall
As I lose all self control

The tears that burn so much
Like acid drops on my skin
The tightness of my chest
The aching in my heart

I end up in a ball
Crying out to the Gods of old
Pleading for mercy
From this cruel fate

Pleading with all my heart
For just one more chance
To make it right
In exchange for my soul
Toby Raines Mar 2020
I sit down at my desk,
Staring blankly at the sheet in front of me.

Pure white,
a fresh start.

The pen in my hand twirls gracefully,

Not a word written on the paper.
My ideas were foolish, after all.

Until the pen moved on it’s own.

Long, flowing lines graced the page,
grazing the edges,
but not spilled at all.

The pen halted for only a minute,
as I admire the beautiful world it’s created.

But the pen does not stop, nor does it have mercy.

Dots and lines
Strokes of memory
Brushing it’s tortuous path

The ink held no mercy, and in mercy’s place came agony
the agony tying the strings of ink together until it became a messy puddle
even after all space was filled.
The pen swung
back
and forth
tearing at the paper
My  perfect  world  a   mess    of ink
    and   paper    
and             guilt
Cerasium Mar 2020
People keep saying
That things will get better
But with each passing day
Things just keep getting worse

The darkness grows more black
Swallowing up all the light
Pushing me ever deeper
Down this pit of despair

Try as I might
I can’t seem to fight back
I keep losing the battle
Falling deeper and deeper

I keep getting told
That I shouldn’t be with him
That it’s best that he left me
That I’m better without him

But the longer this goes on
The harder it is for me to see
The light that will come out of this
And it’s slowly killing me

My chest won’t stop aching
Yet it’s been months
I feel like I’m dying
Over and over

I don’t know what to do
Every time I try to move forward
I’m pushed backwards
To thoughts of us

It feels like my heart will fail
From this ever growing pain
That’s deep in my soul
Begging for him to return

If only my mind wasn’t shattered
If only I did things differently
If only she didn’t come into his life
Them maybe things would be different

Maybe I would still be with him
Maybe I wouldn’t be in so much pain
From losing the one I love the most
But I fear my time is almost up

I grow weaker with each passing day
My migraines are getting worse
And the pain in my chest grows rapid
I fear I will never get him back

I fear that I will die before that can happen
That my life will end very soon
Because what most people don’t know
Is that a broken heart can be fatal
I don’t know how much longer I can fight my heart conditions..
Breath
When you're broken
And all you see is darkness
Breath
When darkness seems to
Shine brighter in your life
Breath
When you are in sorrow
And your survival rate
Is still low
Breath
When all hope is lost
And no one to save you
Breath

And know this,
Your breathe is your survival
If you stop breathing, you
S
        l
               i
                     d
                             e
To death
Keep On Breathing
Sometimes we want to give up on life. That's the moment we have to know that there's more to life. So whatever you can, keep on breathing. Keeping on living.
Jana Chehab Mar 2020
Zodiac signs have failed to tell
of an epoch of limerence waiting ahead
neither could a compass navigate
a homesick constellation to its rightful cell
and yet I travel, swim, and tread
on a glimpse of you
on a foreign thread
on a beacon of fury to accommodate

Epiphany emerged
the world’s ablaze
mnemonic particles floated again
Astral projection took its toll
your skin reached out and took the fall

I oft hear sounds; my sonorous wails
my sword-of-a-body
and my serrated edges
drove them away
but there you were
a scabbard of steel
to engulf and congeal
to hold and to heal

Alpha Cephei has got nothing on you
you became the star that ruled the Earth
the right hand of the northern pole
the right hand I chant my paean for
you were 49 light years away
until you adhered to my directions

My roots will cease to loosen their grip
on your light rays and elysian touch
on what I crave, yearn, and long
for you are the home that got me stuck
and you are the space where I belong
Rajinder Mar 2020
The breeze steals unsung notes
off aching branches. The tree
agonizes writing scores.
Cerasium Mar 2020
My mask is completely shattered now
I can no longer hide my emotions
I can no longer hide my true feelings
My life has turned upside down

There is no one who can help anymore
I’ve become so broken
That I am now beyond repair
Though I won’t stop you from trying

The mask I use to hide behind
Was cracked and splintered
But I could still hide behind it
But these past few months have shattered it

My life turned into turmoil
Causing misery so great
My soul is beginning to rot
My mind ground into fine dust

My heart aches with every beat
My nights filled with terror and tears
My days filled with loneliness and despair
My dreams turn to vile memories of the past

I lay curled up in a ball
Upon my bed
With my cat trying to comfort
This poor destroyed soul

I question my existence
Asking why I am even alive
When all I attract
Is pain unto myself

This is no way to live
But I no longer have the strength
To mask my true self
Or climb out of this hell by myself

And the one who held my hand
The one who kept me from falling
The one who was able to shine
A light in this eternal darkness

The one who could pull me out
And free me from this misery
Has abandoned me
Or so it feels like it

The darkness turns violent
And I turn down a self destructive path
I continuously ask myself
Why must I be alone

Why must I lose
Everything I hold dear
Why must I be left
To fend for myself

To be without
A shining light
To help me find my way out
Of the ever growing darkness

Maybe I have cursed myself
To never be happy
To only know despair
And lose everything that I love

So I cry myself to sleep
Wishing things would change
Wishing that my light had stayed
So I wouldn’t be so alone

Begging the Gods
To bring my light back
So that I may be able
To survive just one more day
Cerasium Mar 2020
Everything I wanted
Everything I required
Everything I craved
I now know I will never receive

No matter how much I beg
No matter how hard I try
No matter what I do
My wishes will never come true

My hope has died
I no longer feel the warmth of life
I only feel the cold embrace
Of death

My heart is going numb
My soul feels dead
My mind is on a path
Of complete self destruction

I call out for help
But to no avail
My calls are not heard
By the one who can fix me

My heart rate descends
My fear becoming reality
I’m all alone
With no one to help

I’m alone in these walls
Built for protection
But now all they provide
Is bitter solitude

My mind is caving inward
Threatening to implode
And all I can do
Is sit in my corner and cry

Huddled up tightly
With knees indenting my chest
Tears run down
Staining my skin

Makeup is a mess
I look upward in hopes
Of seeing you care
But alas I’m in solitude

You are no where to be found
And all I can do
Is fight my own mind
To not relapse again

For if I relapse
It will be the final time
No more across the bridge
No more shallow cuts

My life will be forfeit
Just like my heart
Which now rots
Deep inside my chest

Although it still beats
All it feels is pain
So intense it is breaking
Over and over again

Not a day goes by
Where it stops
My heart beats loudly
Hoping for you to come back

But you aren’t coming back
My heart is calling
For something that’s no longer there
And that hurts a hundred times worse

No longer can I keep bearing this pain
No longer can I keep waiting for the impossible
No longer can I destroy myself
So instead I will sacrifice this love

I will use it as an eternal source
For your eternal happiness
I don’t need the ability
To love anymore

Because the only one
I will ever love
Is you
And only you
N Mar 2020
Hold my trembling hand
and end my agony

Look me in my eyes filled with longing,
for they feel bliss at the very sight of you

Listen to my anguished heart,
for it yearns to be laced with yours  

Lick my salty tears,
for they shed over your unbearable absence

Kiss my quivering lips,
for they whisper your name like a prayer

Stop living in my dreams
and be here with me
Would you please?
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