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Lewis 3d
I find myself existing above where everything else is.
I do see the cars gliding in heavy rain, painting me with white Hollywood flashes but I could confidently argue that they wouldn't cast a shadow behind myself. I find myself existing outside of my body and away from everything I can see in some muted soft space in between.

I wonder if it is because I turn everything into symbols or is it because I am 26 and just trying to feel different. To feel smarter or better or kinder. Is that the goal of all this? There is space between everything I touch and no ability to feel the jagged edges or cold surfaces underneath my fingertips. A numbing that would drive me insane if I wasn't so bloated and churning with random thoughts; some good, some bad. Nothing specific.

I lay on the sofa and notice the moon reflected in the large windows. Two moons, a nice distance apart and somehow the same size and light. The only thing that tells me that one moon is a reflection is some guttural instinct. A discernment. I would love to say they emulated the eyes of a cunning cat or some other great power instead, but they looked blank. But they looked at me.

I feel myself reaching the end of this current mind shift. The one where everything has a meaning or everything is connected. I wonder if it has actually poisoned how I see things but I understand it is a natural progression. Instead I am moving towards the prophecies that things just happen. People can say things without meaning, things can exist without history. Pretty existential and less poetic. It should be less freeing but at the moment it feels more non-sensical and there is less music in everything. Ironic that I should find bliss in less blissful things and I wonder if that is an excuse. My next thing should be to write something beautiful.

To fashion something that is delicate with an expanding and deflating tidal force behind it so strong you could feel it in the muscles of your tongue. Or how the knocking on the door in the night pokes crashes of adrenaline into the top of your chest and contracts your torso with sickly electric, charging your muscles to move and how we are in all fact some weird victim to this wet newspaper slurry and sewage mosaic of stone greys and denim blues all coming together as one when you shake your head but leave your eyes open. And we are just trying and trying to swallow what things happen to us and around us all the time
In honor of getting older,
wiser, sillier and bolder -
I have decided to take the shackles off.
They keep me safe, but curse me soft.
As my life has flashed before my eyes,
Suddenly, I have come to realize -
   I haven’t lived enough
      I haven’t loved enough
         I haven’t danced,
            nor laughed hard enough.
fear has consumed me since birth.
it cannot consume my thirties.
Abdulla 5d
Am I too young to miss the past
Am I too old to enjoy the rain
Too young to notice the change
Too old to be immature

Or maybe too young to think when to blink
in fear I’ll miss the bliss if I stop to think

Or maybe age isn’t real
Just there to control when we do what

When we should be embarrassed to cry,
or when to start to live our lives,
and with a blink of an eye
you’re caught barely alive,
wore out from existence of time
The muscle cars have aged out
of high school hamburger stands
and live in landfills
or junkyards

but some survive.
The codger across the street in the end house
keeps his in pristine condition,
replacing its parts, babying its body

in ways he can't do for himself.
I see him rolling out down the street,
into youth,
joy,
music,
health,

until he rounds the corner
and disappears.
lisagrace Aug 2
Twelve to fourteen
       A good girl she must be,                 🦋
               but with the exception
                     of fake notes
                          to skip P.E
                              Her nose buried in books,
                                sitting in the nook
                                of her mind,
🦋                       still dazzled by magic,
                         adventure
                     and love
                A soirée
           with the feykind.....🦋
The next part of my Retrospective poem series...
🦋🧚‍♀️
Mariah Jul 2
Take me

Slowly

To the

Place I

Know I

Can be



Please just

Show me

Who I'm

Supposed

To be



Is this

Really

What you

Mean


When you

Told me

I was

Always

Free


What was

I supposed

To see


While the

Figure's

Looking

Back at

Me


Why does

She look

So

Pretty


Even though

She's older

Than me
I don't always believe this. Even still, I've started to be able to appreciate my face more as I've gotten older.

Though, I still feel 18.
josef Jun 30
your body will
wrinkle and shrivel
crack and deform itself
into a tapestry of frailty and age

what then, will you have?
your best feature taken away from you
no more wages paid - nobody wants elders

weep bitterly, for your life will speak for itself
a life of virtual prostitution, and for what?
notoriety? money? what for?

at the end of the day, you’ll have the light
a beacon of hope that guided you through
listen for it, and it’s still small voice
Narco Jun 30
One beer and then another,
adults standing in a circle;
Life always seemed better.
Sat in the corner with the other kids;
watching how they smile and cheer while they chugged another.
Thought to myself: “When I grow older, I wanna be just like them; smiling and drinking and always happy.”

Time passed and I turned 18.
Had my first beer;
wasn’t as good as it seemed.
It was bitter and sad;
yet the adults always seemed to want another.

Couple years fly by.
Was invited to a party;
seemed like a good time
We adults stand in a circle;
jolly as we talked about our lives.
Beer after beer;
it seemed like a great time.
Yet deep within;
something felt missing.
Smiles and cheers;
yet no one seemed happy.

That’s when i realised.
The beer was bitter;
but not as much as our lives.
We smile and drink;
to feel something—
or at least act like we do.

Out of the corner of my eye,
a kid stares—
with the same glimmer I had in my eyes.
Beer has had an interesting story for me.
Steve Page Jun 24
I stay present
but in reality, I am many
miles and many years
behind us. I am taller
and straighter, I have less pain
and fewer regrets.

I stay present
and take pleasure wherever
it is offered. I stand, and I pray.
I offer
- no-that's-not-true,
I don't offer. I give freely -
my praise. And it is given
with all honesty, truly.

I stay present
as He is present, but
just as He is timeless
so a part of me slips
into the past
and the better part leans
into the not-quite-yet.

I am present.
For now.
I'm reading a novel by John Connolly and came across the words:  "Although she remained a presence in the room; a part of her was now elsewhere. "
That sent me here.
Lizzie Bevis Jun 19
When I was small,  
your hand held mine,  
in a father’s grip,  
both firm and kind.  
I’d look up in awe
at your towering frame,  
your proud stance unwavering.
I'd like to think that I was a good girl
who obeyed the rules,
because your voice was profound,  
grounding my feet
onto the solid ground.

Through my childhood,  
long HGV trips were the norm,  
and I listened for the latch  
on the garden gate,
as I waited patiently  
for your return.  
I remember how you were
so regimented and set in your ways,  
but your love shone through  
in those distant days.  
I felt relief as years passed,
your strict edges softened,  
into acceptance at last.

Now time’s cogs have turned,  
our roles have reversed,
and life writes for us  
in a different verse.  
Once you strode  
with a confident pace,  
but a Zimmer frame  
now takes that place.  
Your hands, once strong,  
are fragile and sore,  
stiffened by time,  
yet still they endure.

I see the warrior’s spirit  
that still burns inside you,  
as cancer battles loom,  
you strive to push through.  
Where once you led  
with a mighty stride,  
it is now my turn  
to care and guide.  
My strength is yours  
as we walk a little slower these days
with me still by your side.

©️Lizzie Bevis
My Dad has been in hospital over the past few weeks following a series of falls.
Sadly, this lead to a diagnosis of advanced cancer throughout my dads body.
My Dad was always a proud and stubborn man,
thankfully he has mellowed a little in his twilight years.
I am glad that I am able to help him to feel comfortable and cared for.

I know what is to come...and it will be tough.
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