So long since I had you, you used to ease into me,
slowly, up my legs you crept. Slashing into my
native origins, you made me moan, you made me wait.
I used to rush you, then again, slow you down. I haven’t
felt you in a very long time. I miss you; I need
you to ease into my loneliness. I need you to thrill me.
I want to feel you again, over and over and over.  

It used to take a long time for me to feel you. Since I
haven’t had you, the wait is nerve racking. The wait is
increasing my desire for you. I don’t want to be insistent
but come to me. In the middle of the night, in the light
of day, when the sun is shining, when the storm is
brewing.

I want you in me, I want you now. I want you to know
that it’s hard to live without you, it’s not easy having
to do without.

I dream about you sometimes, I miss you ‘cause I can’t
catch you like I used to.  I get a taste of you only when
my memories return. Last but not least, I want to feel
you again. I want and need you.  I want you to smash
my body with an explosion that I will never forget.


I want you to assume the position and hit me with your
best shot.  Knock on my doors, I will let you in without
a doubt.

Come to me, will you please hurry!  I’m waiting for you to
re-enter my world. I can’t wait any longer, I have to
have you. I need you inside my world. Here I am, let’s
get it on. I need you, I want you, and I’m ready….

Dear ******!

you may or may not find this,
in the middle of the night
or on a rainy sunday afternoon.

my mind runs rampant,
while my heart is still,
because i realized what love is
at the very least, a fragment of it;

love looks past flaws and chaos,
past the foreseeable risk & damage,
and i know i did amidst it all
leaving no room for me to regret.

i know i tugged your soul
towards a better light, a better day
because i stayed with you at your worst
and now remain bewildered when you say
you've changed for the better.

forgive a heart that wavered,
i used to think love is a home;
we always move someplace better
when all the heart feels is nothing but homeless.

i had to unlearn that.

to venture love as strength,
to lose and find oneself over
and over again & be better;
because lost is a lovely place
to find oneself,
and to begin again.

and as i bid you my final farewell,
i'd like to let you know
that i'll tuck the memories within,
hold them dearly and know deep in myself;
i have loved and i have no regrets.

and i will love again,
break again,
get lost again,
find myself & begin again.

IA

the cliff is steep
my legs are getting heavy
feeling weak
weekly tribulation
seething through my teeth
as i fight to the peak

the fall is long
my body’s numbing
though i’m very strong
abyss has been prolonged
i’m fighting daily
giving up is wrong
even if i can’t go anymore
the fall won’t last
for long

- negassie

Tonight, I sit down to write
Just like many nights before.
This time, however, I saw something different on the other side of the door.
I saw hope.
I saw it when I saw the grass again.
I saw the sun melt the snow away.
And I knew that snow would turn
Back to water which would bring
The flowers back someday.

Once again,
I dance alone
in the dark rooms
of my mind,
while I hold on
to time as it drips
off my eyelashes.
My heart won't
let go of you
but my mind
stops me in
my steps,
as I see your
shadows.

I forgot how much I missed you
Until we started talking again
I've been through lots of painful things
But not many compare to losing a friend

You texted me a week ago
You tried to apologize
It wasn't your fault
(You liked looking in my eyes)

Said you found this jacket
In the picture, it reminded
Me of a 80s quilt
I said you should get it, you did

Adults keep pulling on our sleeves
Telling us to grow up
Keep only what you need
Well I needed connection
And I needed a friend
You were running low on those too
Maybe life's out to get us
Maybe they just don't care
I know it's easier
If I have you there