My mother is the reason why I obsessively buy books
But never read them.
She taught me to value learning, to seek knowledge and truth.
This afternoon she comes in carrying “Botany In A Day”
While all of the great classics of history sit dusty on the shelves.
(Speaking of shelves, and dusty, unopened things)
I bought her a sandy pink candle for her birthday.
She loves candles. But never buys them, never burns them.
One night I lit the flame - she came over to me:
“Why did you do that? The smell is going to give me a headache”
But you love candles, I say, if you love them why don’t you light them?
“I’m saving them.” For what? I ask, when is this special candle day?
“Angela, just leave the candle in the drawer, please.”
And I think that sentence sums up her entire relationship with me.

These days you get so worried
Problems and heartaches
One after another.
You knew even before
You read this imperfect poem,
It's not that easy
becoming an adult.
You're confused if you're the only one,
Or it's all the same for everyone.
Many times you feel so depressive,
You knew it's not easy
Becoming an adult.
The sun rises and it'll set,
The days are gone, your age added.
Though many times you needed some help,
Please endure it all and gather your strength.
Just run and run,
while looking back to where you began.
Sing and dance to your favorite song,
and enjoy your life along.
It's true,
becoming an adult is not easy,
it's part of growing old.
Have strength my friend
Keep moving forward,
Sing a song of joy,
Realize that becoming an adult
is not that hard after all.

It’s a riddle to some
It is to me I admit
It sneaks up to me as I lay down
My head on my pillow
My brows furrow
Thoughts burrowing deep.

This is the fear,
The unseen,
The uncertainty, for all I know, may win,
Clawing it’s way up my spine.
I shut my eyes then snap them open
To remind myself I’m still alive.

I can’t wait
But I also can’t stop
The feeling of dread
That bundles and grows
As the minutes drop
One by one like lead.

When does it begin?
Or better yet, end?
When will it come?
When will it go?
It’s one of life’s riddles -
I just don’t know.

So I lie in bed and wait...
The ticking of the clock my only mate.

The continuum of existence,
The constant push and pull.
No time left for actual learning,
Just dying undercover,
We're just trying to keep our cool.
So next time you actually think,
Existence is something more than a series of points
Plotted on a paper graph,
Remember this, my child,
Life is ****,
It's just waiting for us to quit.

When you finally find a job that is decent, that pays quite enough and you love but your body betrays you, weakens you, and sabotage your dream.

Will you continue working despite the sleepless yet satisfying days? Or will you quit and listen to your body?

Adulthood is a semi
Barreling down the highway of life
And I'm standing in the middle of the lane going
Crap

It's part and parcel of growing up,
The things you gain and
The things you lose.
The pain you feel
When the shelter you've had couldn't protect you
Your mind reels
Your stumble, your fall,
The feeling of losing it all;
You're not in control,
But a pawn in Life's thrall.
You're never sure,
You're surely lost,
It's better to admit it now,
Then let your pride rule and before
The higher you climb,
The faster you fall.
It is a fact, you can never have it all.

25...
When you were a kid you thought that you would be married by now
Have it all figured out
The career
The home
The car
The kids
Now you're here and *******...
Do we ever really figure it out?
Adulting is hard
Your Facebook feed is filling up with engagements and baby announcements
but your reading the newsfeed in the liquor isle of Safeway
Beer or wine tonight? Hmm maybe *****?
"Psh who wants to be a boring married couple"
That's what you think to yourself
Trying to convince yourself that it's okay
Drown out that little voice in your head saying "you're gonna be alone forever"
It's like walking on a tightrope
One side you have it together and the other side you still might as well be that 21 year old college student ordering shots at the bar
If someone has this figured out- hit a homie up
Until then, I'm just doing me and I guess I'm doing fine