have you ever held the sun in your hands
sometimes i carry it around in my pockets and forget it’s there
sometimes i feel so full of it that i believe in god again
what else is there besides
the streams of light peeking through magnolia leaves
who am i to the baseball shirt
to the blazer or the black fishnets or the crooked bottom teeth
it doesn’t matter
i smell lemon verbena laundry detergent and it’s like time travel
i’m in our west hollywood apartment again falling asleep on my right hip
sometimes i am forty-two but i am always fourteen
do you see me on the page or in the sidewalk cracks
i wish i didn’t care but i always do
where does it come from
the longing
the need to be loved by the things that we love
i hear a song or read a poem and i’m on my knees
i hate being looked at but
i’d do anything for you to see me

I do care about your loose hairband
that allow your tresses and mantle
to flow in the soft breeze,
Small ***** of sweat
trickle-down from forehead,
taking the route of the cheek,
And your both hands occupied in books
Effort vainly to subdue them-

I sit and watch this battle from our college corridor,
Dreaming and fantasizing to be your lover,
And leading the army of affection
Win this contest of tresses and mantle
for you.

Swaddled within your arms,
I feel my worries rush away
from my thoughts.
I am left with only
complete clarity
about my future with you.
My anxieties
seem to simply evaporate
when our limbs intertwine.

I feel he has created this kind of comfort that I’ve always lacked
A sense of security without feeling pressured to stay
A welcoming rather
An invitation to touch his soul

He creates this sense of history that is just developing but feels centuries old
He holds me with a strength that goes deeper than the definition in his biceps
He smiles with his whole heart that his dimples climb to reach his eyes
Which burn with an intensity of crashing waves in the ocean
He makes me feel warm.
And he's extended the offer of adoration that I willingly accept and give in return.

I see you
In some flickering byzantine light.
You smile without pretence
And your tesserae image
Eclipses the others
Inspiring a sense of wonder.

If the light should cease
And you to please
Hold out your hand to me
For too much life have I, my love
My strength would I share with thee.

what is love?

when i associate you
with all the other things
that i adore in this world.
and especially when
i associate you
with all the other things
that hurt me in this world.

now... now, that is love.

PSALM TWENTY AND ONE
OF PRAISE TO MAGNIFY
THY LORD GOD,
JEHOVAH ORI.



1)I'll adore thy
Lord with my
whole heart ♥
and I will sing
His praise  in
His sanctuary.

2)I'll worship 🛐
thy Lord God,
for his mercy
endureth forever. 3)
He Who has
spread the heavens
like curtain on the
wings of wind,
earth upon ocean. 4)
For his mercy
endureth till
eternally.
5)
Praise
He our God for
He's mighty
arts are greatly
and worthy to
be praised. 6)Let
the whole world
glee in the Lord
their God and the
fullness therein. 7)
And the heaven
and it's hosts bless
thy Lord our God.
8)
Our hearts shall
rejoice in thy
Lord and the
fullness in us. 9) All
my bones shall
says blessed be
thy Lord.
10)
Let thy
Lord be magnified!
Praise God in all
tongues and let
His people praise
Him.
11)The earth
and every beasts
that crawled
the earth. 12)
Every
small and
gigantic adore
thy Lord their God.
13)
And let
Cloudnine and
His family Glorify
God for His
marvelous thangs
He has done
amongst His
people.
14)He
manifest Himself
and
sent them meal.
15)
Even in the
wilderness He
brought forte
waters
within the rock. 16)
His voice is
heard in all the
nations, praise
God. 17)
Zillion
tongues aren't
enough praise
God. 18)
For
the works of
His hands is
mighty.
19)
The
sun see and
jumped, the
rivers ran
backwards,
20)
The mountains
smokes and the
hills are covered
with flames
🔥🔥 the
Holighost fire of
thy Lord. 21)
Holy and glory
honor,
adoration,
glorification, and
songs of
doxology
unto God. 22)
For
His endless
gracious favor
and mercy
endureth forever.
23)
From eternal
till eternal,
praise God
from ever
lasting to
everlasting. 24)
Let
my heart ♥
praise God. 25)
C9fm shall adore
thy God blessed
be thy Lord
our God. 26)
Worthy
and honorable is
thy Lord God of
black tribe
of Israel. 27)
God
of the whole
earth and flesh.
May thy
only Holy names
forever be
pavilion for the
just. 28)
Those who
hopes in thy
Lord shall never
be ashamed. 29)
For thy
mercy is endless,
reaching unto
the clouds all
through the
heaven's
beginning to it's
end. 30)
Praise
God from the
beneath of the
earth. He Who
made the heaven
and earth. 31)
Unto you, all
the riches, wealths,
wisdom,
knowledge and
understanding are
been rendered . 32)
Unto thee oh
Lord our God.
Let the heart
of the just
praise and
dependent.
33)
Rejoice
in Him and
cast your worries
upon the Lord
and He shall
ease your
burdens. 34)
Glorious and
marvelous His
thy word oh
Lord.
35)
Thy word
is seen through
thy
magnanimous
arts.
36)
The skies
manifests and the
heavens roared
thunderously.
37)
The earth
heard and
trembled mighty
mountains became
ground before
thy Lord.
38)
The
angels bow 🙇
worshipping 🛐
underneath His
throne.
39)
Saying,
Thou art worthy,
holy and glory
art thou oh Lord. 40)
Who Was and to
come and is
and forever more.
41)
Let thy Lord be
magnified! Selah.
#c9_fm

I can see how not many people couldn’t get it
I can see how I demand the attention but at what cost?
Uncertainty is a game for the conscious, those who are unconscious are innocent
It’s easy not knowing but then again, I crave
Of imagery, beauty, adoration
The shadow who smiles wickedly, cackles underneath
It was never that what I seek but it’s a must
Is that how we suppose to live? The shadow will do so in order to sustain
The imagery, beauty, and adoration
But at what cost you ask? Nothing
Just shame, pain, and the shadow cackles again wickedly