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Martin Horton Jun 2019
What if I’d never been called Martin?

If I’d been called Malcom or Syed or Fred?

Would I have been treated any differently, would the thoughts be different in my head?

Would I have been adopted by a different couple, maybe by ones who really loved me instead?

Would I be living in a bungalow in Barnet or a thatched cottage in Hay upon Wye?

Be a scientist obsessed by nuclear fusion or a pilot spending hours in the sky.

Would I be a murderous tyrant, leaving fear, dread and bloodshed in my wake or a devotee of the divine Mary Berry, perfecting the ultimate bake?  

Would stories be written about me or songs sung about me by the fire or would journalists interview my loved ones and dear ones, desperate to expose me as a liar.

What if I’d been created a monster, not even given a name at all?

Just left where my life had started. Curled up and quivering in a ball.

No one to tell me they loved me, no one to give me a hug. Just treat like a thing to recoil from, like an odious, hideous bug.

But what if someone noticed me, to whom the outside didn’t matter at all.

Who looked at the deepest core of my being and saw secrets and delights to enthral.

Who coached and nurtured and loved me and treat me with no fear or no shame and decided to call me Isaac, as
that
would
be
my
perfect
name.
This was inspired by the prompt of 'What If'  in my local writing group. It started from if I'd been given a different name and went on from there. I'd also recently read the novel Frankenstein
Penmann Jun 2019
My sky
Is my skin
I can't seem to
climb out
of it.

Hands
I for one
Am one

Reading books from the dead is certainly fun.

Upside down pen.

Also my nan,
Best thing in my life
Made me honest
A stand up guy.

Remember the 80's
She was funky back then.
about my adoption
Little Bit May 2019
One sixteen
You had me
Two sixteens
You needed me
Three sixteens
And you were gone
When I almost
Found you
I lost you
Before I knew you
So long
Paige Apr 2019
To the woman I’ve never met,
but the woman who loves me.
Forced to let me travel to a foreign country;
I am still yet to shiver my way
through the never-ending river.

So to contemplate:
must I choose between the mother who loves me from afar,
and the mother who has come to love me now?

Soon I may change my name.
If I discover the surname meant for me and make it mine,
shall I feel part of the family?

Is this to imply that I prefer her bubble over the sea,
that was once my world?
Is my continuous discovery something to regret?
Of the current,
My name reflects both.

A dilemma only I can solve
But not in the form of a simple equation or formula.

All I have for you, dear mama is,
We are like parallel lines.
We will not meet anytime soon.
The dot that connects us is invisible
But real in my heart.
indigochild Dec 2018
When we were younger and didn’t really know how the world worked, we heard the story of our parents going into a patch and choosing their baby.

I often tell my family that I went into a patch and choose them.
mjad Nov 2018
I often wonder about my own origin
I wonder how much of me is from just one woman
I also wonder if I am anything like the man
Does my DNA from her make me the good student I am
Does it explain my ever present sarcasm and attitude
I wonder if we have the same personality or mood
I wonder about my appearance and hers
Does her hair also fall down her back or shape her curves
Does it reflect in the same golden way that mine does
Does she also let hers grow too long just because

I know you from online
And from the few files I find
Is my height, or lack thereof, from you?
(After all, I'm only five foot two)
Do all my half siblings know of me, or just you?
Do you talk to my father? Does he want to meet too?

I meet you this week
17 years or 6,463 days
Not a moment too late
A reunion like an awkward first date
I was told to "expect nothing" from it
That I can easily call to just quit
But I know more everyday that I am ready
I want my family tree to be a little less webby

I want you to know I am not mad
I do not cry because I am sad
You are the reason I live the life I have
I cannot be more grateful for that

I understand the choice you made
That raising me was a price you had to pay
Your past is not something to regret
The questions I have are nothing to fret
You might fear the how's and why's
But they're the last thing on my mind
I just want to meet you for you
And to thank you for giving me the chance to live anew
I meet my birthmother later this week and I am full of emotions, but I want all birthmothers to know that the last question an adoptee has on their mind is  "why?" We want to know YOU, the you of today, so do not be scared. ( ps. If youre an adoptee too, hmu! I am here for you on your journey)
Maria Land Oct 2018
Dox
I only saw four girls when I came to be,
I wish I saw a boy but the only boy was me,
A man showed up but not for long, he gave me up cause he was wrong,
My mom I love her but she left me to,
I need her more than my sisters do,
I hear people talk but the worst isn't true,
I know my mom loves me and I love her lots too,
Sometimes I remember when we smiled and play games,
I really need my mom's hugs No hugs are the same,
I cannot forget her for her love is the key,
God all I pray is one day mommy's with me!
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