you laughed at my anger
I took it as a sign
a sign you didn't care
didn't understand me

but I was the one who didn't understand
I was the one who took your laughter as disrespect
it was just you trying
trying to calm down my flames

you were only trying to fix me
fix what's going to happen next
change it so it doesn't get bad
you were the one understanding me

I just took it as
as...
as something I can't explain
but you can clearly explain it

break it down and explain it to me
that's what I admire but I also misunderstand you so much
I don't deserve you
I really don't...

With a voice that fails me
I aim at the lines between your hope and my despair
With a needle, in an effort to achieve precision
To stitch our thoughts together
They’re so similar, so different
You think of October as a warm home
And I see it as a cold houseguest
And we co-exist in this oblivion
This circle of this or that
I admire your willingness to fill spaces
And you question my fear of being heard
You relish in the colours of fall
And I dread the looming winter
How is it that we left September
Hand-in-hand, wishing for rain...

If I could ride a white stallion,
wearing burnished armour of gold.
I would cross the high mountains
for my eyes on your smile to behold.

Across land scorched by suns fire,
droughts parched burning sand,
all this I could defeat and endure,
for a mere touch from your hand.

You have me captivated, enthralled
by means of your charm and your grace.
Entranced and passively subdued,
by beauties smile on your face.

How sad has become this world.
where poetry for a beauty is not news.
I behold the wonder and the beauty,
of my goddess, my passions true muse.

I will break all my limbs
to have her mold me
as a clay sculpture

To carve her knife
into my skin because
this is how art is made

To have her look at me,
study me, conceal my flaws,
till I am finally perfect

To be owned by her,
her creation to
admire and love

and she is like a painting,

the colors of her soul infuse the dark world around her.

Flowers grow at the sound of her laugh,

for that's all the warmth they need.

Her smile radiates across the room,

a light that invites and guides those who are lost.

She lives, not with an overconfidence in herself,

but with an understanding that her beauty is up to interpretation.  

She is able to admire the other paintings in the gallery,

but still knows she has something beautiful to offer.

She is just herself,

and she is like a painting.

Over the years I’ve heard that when a person is up at 3 am they’re either lonely or in love
I wonder which one I fall under from the two choices from above
When it’s all said and done I planned the perfect day for us, we’re gonna have some fun
Suddenly I wake up it was just a day dream, you were right there about to be in my grasp, how lovely that would be
I’d listen to you all night, my hands tracing your body, feels like ecstasy, and if you let me I’ll explore and hit all the right spots
I love the way you play during the day, you’re such a good girl who does a lot for her people without a thought
You’ve been so good and I’m proud of you, do you know what that means? You get to indulge yourself with a little treat
Staying up all night with the bright night light so I can remind you there’s light in the darkness
There’s a fire inside me and I’m pretty sure you’re the one who sparked it

Laying in bed next to someone but still feeling alone while I’m a low key mess
I’m not completely alone because I have one of my favorite girls always with me, Mary Jane to ease the daily pain
I’m off on an adventure to escape my life, gain a new experience that feels right, and explore the earth’s landscape
I’m thinking of our memories in high school, I try not to let them get the best of me but it’s hard when I’m feeling lonely
I remember our first kiss, the way we used to reminisce, and the way you used to love me
We were young and naive, back then I really ****** up, I begged you not to leave me
I didn’t mean to hurt you so bad, I was thrown into the water early in life, I didn’t know how to swim so I was slowly drowning
I’m speaking metaphorically just in case you don’t know, it’s a comparison of how I wasn’t taught to love properly
Not making any excuses I just want you to see my perspective and retroactively introspect it
I’ve been opening up lately and I want you to know how much I’ve grown by going to therapy to take a break from life and reflect on it
We’ve both changed and matured since then but there are qualities of you that remain and they’re the ones I’ve always loved
I miss our walks, the way we would tease one another, I loved to kiss you in the pouring rain, sometimes biting your lip a little rough
I miss your lips, and holding your hand just because I can and the way we were there for each other when push comes to shove
I’m lucky to have crossed paths with you because sometimes I desire another chance and I have two left feet but I’d dance with you if you wanted me to
No matter what I’ve done you never think less of me and that’s one of my favorite things about you
The days where we would pull each other out of our sadness and straight into a kind of love madness
You’re one of a kind and a lovely distraction, when our eyes meet that’s law of attraction
I love everything about you I don’t know where to begin or even start, like my mom and dad, you’re my high school sweet heart.

An Ocean
Everyone is held by your sway
Calming everyone walking in your space
Joy and mixed feelings while watching your waves
Not easy
But at least you came
White, blue, and a touch of brown and beige
Theses are the colors of the ocean and what near it  
Did I mentioned the color red my dearest?
Cause its the color of your being
And the excitement you make
For me and every human being you meet I swear
Like the ocean and the depth of it
Glimmering, vast, deep as hell
Beneath your own layer of blue
A magnificent fragments/colors but not for everyone to perceive
Cause it would make them fall and you don’t want them to bleed
Blest of solitudes
Purity like the water you always need
This a simple poem for you my jay
&My dear.