I need to do the dishes.
It would take me fifteen minutes tops to do the dishes.
I would feel so much better with a clean kitchen.
I would make dinner.

-I would rather die than do the dishes.
-I could spend those fifteen minutes thinking about playing Pokemon on my couch.
-Not playing Pokemon, because that would require too much work.
-I would think about it, though.

******* just do the dishes.
We went to therapy and talked about this.
Not the dishes,
But about the millions of microscopic steps that everything takes.

-I don’t NEED to do the dishes.
-I can eat off this napkin or
-Maybe I just won’t eat at all.
-Everything is such a process and I hate it.

The first step is to just ******* do something.
Anything. To keep your brain from self-destructing
Over something as small as starting
Any and every task.

-I would rather rot on my couch
-Than do something. Anything.
-And maybe I would self-destruct,
-But honestly, it just sounds like too many steps.

Enduring the Culture of Wow
To reduce our attention and how
Just a swipe at the screen
But it’s not what we mean
When we talk about Being Here Now

I can’t finish a thought
but my thoughts will be the end of me..

There was a sloth that was a little different than his fellow sloths
He was bouncing like a wild kangaroo
The others said: he goes strange paths
So he felt himselfe disvalue

Just a little time ago, he had an argue
In this moment he was impulsive and aggressive
He tried to jump the queue
He wasn't compransive

He was very hypersensitive and empathic
But still he hasn't many friends
He was for the most too much, too hyperactive
In a social Isolation it ends

To his appointments he often came late
he had a dysfunctional time management
He always Said: sorry that I let you wait
he was accused of showing little commitment

At school he wasn't good at reading long texts or mathematics
he had difficulty with concentration
he couldn't understand some systematics
He liked drawing illustration

I worked it out - ADHD that is,
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?
My ****!
For those of us caught in the maelstrom
Of irrationality, rage, accusation and self centredness,
Those of us doomed
To love these creatures,
ADHD is just
A Depressing Horrible Death,
When it could, and should,
Be A Delightful Heavenly Destiny,
Oh well,

My control quickly turns me  
From convivial chatter  
To hapless conundrums  
And historic fantasies.  
My phased out eyes  
Are listening without listening  
Present thoughts  
Dissolve into ‘what ifs’ and ‘when’s’ and ‘who’s’  
You speak at me, unaware. I smile.  

The control clicks refresh    
Conceptualising my lack of attention  
My inside voice yelling ‘listen!’  
Your lips are shapes I could paint  
Look for the formations  
In the highlights and shadows  
The pinks of the turned corner of the mouth.  
I’m listening. I am.  

Lips oscillating sounds  
I can hear the words  
Dancing on walls and windows and me  
Structured dialect  
Deep from the diaphragm  
Daring my standard and generic return.  
  
My control snaps its fingers  
To take my cue  
Because you’re laughing  
And looking  
Eyes asking…  
So I laugh in return.

My knight in shining armour upon his gallant steed,
Or rather, truth be told, my gallant knight in his shining steed,
Rescued me in my hour of need
When I decided to adventure off piste
To view an ancient church,
For a couple of minutes, or so I thought,
With not a care for any danger or dragons.
But my wheels sunk deep into the cemented mud,
So I had to ring and surreptitiously confess my deed.
He came racing back
To the midsts of nowhere,
Thank goodness for what three words.
We pushed, we pulled, we added straw and sheets of wood,
But the vehicle was stuck fast.
With the light dimming,
We shovelled the earth,
The van decided to play ball,
And with a flurry of mud
Came free at last,
Thanks to my honourable knight
For rescuing me in my misdemeanour.

Oh me and my easily distracted brain!