I smoke until I can feel nothing
Because it is better than feeling everything
That's what it is. Everything
My heart is like my head
A thousand different thoughts, shifting and twisting
Changing, over and over again.
And I feel everything.
Always overwhelming, endless emotions
That never dissipate, but only build
My body is too small to hold all of this
It shouldn't be possible
I'm bone weary
Exhausted,
I'm stuck in a current and I can't get out
Wave after wave after wave and I can't catch my breath
The world is spinning above me
And nothing will still
I feel everything
So I smoke until I can feel nothing

My Ocd is flipping switches,
My adhd is pulling pupet strings,
My brain is on vaction for most of the day,
and when he comes home it's night,
his favorite time to party.....
I get no rest,
And tomorrow there's a flippin' test!

Pulled from a shelf and myself on a lounge,
I sit with the brittle paged book.
Try as I might, my immersion is dashed
From the sounds of dinner cooked.

My will delivers a writ to read,
My mind runs to and fro,
The television demands my attention.
Progress, none will flow.

Instead, I sit with prose,
And write a poem on the fixation.
Five minutes have passed; The T.V. now dull.
Finally, I receive my satiation.

Like living with a monkey,
monkey see monkey do,
Being distracted with everything,
Even when there's nothing.

Like having a hidden malicious hand,
Loves playing hide and seek,
Items seem to dissappear,
As if they were warped to another world,
By a magical hand in your head.

Like having thousands of voices pleading for your attention,
Yet you hear none,
Just unintelligible sentences.

Like you're always on a pill of joy,
Yet feel so hollow,
It can be a double edged sword,
As your awareness of others' emotions,
Is comparable to an infant's knowledge of the Lorem Ipsum.

Like having your psyche torn apart,
A battlefield,
When you're fighting for control,
You lay waste to your own mind,
Even if you won,
The exhaustion and lack of motivation,
is a sign of a pyrrhic victory.

Wall to wall and ceiling to floor
They bounce and shake their sheltered home
My thoughts whirl in a whirlwind of smoke

One after the other, there they go
Chasing after one another innocently
My mind enjoys the play of tag

One moment its thinking of this
Another of thinking of that
My A.D.D. Is getting out of hand

Words that are spoken to me
Go over my head
My mind would rather dream instead

Work is a chore for my focus,
It wavers and is forgetful
My mind doesn't care if it is important

Sleeping is pitiful
For the dreams are bursting in
My mind that cannot rest

Getting up is a joke
The midnight dreams want to be relived
My mind is too nice to reject them

A shower takes hours
The water is so nice for a daydream to run wild
My mind gets clouded with the steam

Everyday task gets overwhelming
When my attention runs in the opposite direction
My mind decided to go and wander

A.D.D. Has left me insane
It had given birth to depression and anxiety
My mind is in shambles

"Stop It!" shouted the man
who was dressed in a ***** pin stripe suit,
eye glasses half askew on his nose,
ski-***** haircut sported since his youth.

My face turned blank, shoulders shrugged
not fearing this man's belligerent outburst
because I was used to it;
it was the hundredth time I felt it's sting.

I stood there, patiently and quiet
caressing my double bass violin
my secret seventh grade lover;
she had **** curves and a deep, soothing voice.

I stood there, impatiently and quiet
waiting for Mr. Heidrich to finish the lesson
focused on the third seat violinist
whom played without feeling, again.

I stood there, overbearingly anxious
tapping on the shoulder of my wooden BFF
my rendition of the William Tell Overture
A performance worthy of a Grammy!

The man in the ***** pin stripe suit,
turned and looked at me, scornfully
his half-bald head turned beet red
body shook violently like an earthquake!

The energy released from his gullet
would have made Mount Vesuvius jealous
fiery vocals of curse and rage
would have made the evilest of demons run for cover!

My face turned blank, shoulders shrugged
not fearing this man's belligerent outburst
because I was used to it;
it was the 101st time I felt it's sting.

Pay Attention!

Who would name their child, "Attention?"

Attention works in the ticket booth

Five cents per entry

Surprise of the Century!

It's crazy inside!

So, Pay Attention

if you want to take a ride.

ADHD

from this you can't hide.

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Methylphenidate

is great!

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