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Bre Feb 2020
I dreamt about getting out
14, knobby knees, the urge
To just give in and
Run run run
(Don’t look back)
To the edge of the world.

I was going to leave
this city in the dust.
Find a place safe
For us and our ideals
And never look back
To the edge of the world.

A decade passed
Goals and outlooks
And best laid plans change.
Growing up is pain.
I’m still here.

Is it considered being trapped when you hand-picked your own cage?
never thought I’d dwell in this self-labeled hell but I’m not that girl anymore
b Jan 2020
curiosity lingers in my veins
as my fingers type in the
four digit passcode that
holds all your secrets.
the thought never crossed my mind
that maybe i should leave it alone,
it is your property after all.
your property that would answer
all of the questions
that could never leave my lips.
my heart leaped out of my chest
where it shattered on the kitchen tiles.
i yearn for your acceptance,
but i believe that you can never
give me the one thing i ask for.
because if you are in conversations
pleading that your beloved daughter’s
sexuality is only just a phase
when i asked you to keep
it a secret in the first place,
you throw away all of my cries
for your love.
my limbs go numb as the words
are stuck on repeat inside
of my empty skull.
and when i look at you
from across the dinner table,
i can’t help but think that
when we meet eyes,
your mind is full of the fact that
you will never love me
because i am an abomination to your beliefs,
even though we believe in the same thing.
“i should’ve seen it in the way she dressed.”
sorry mom, i’ve always been a ‘tomboy,’ as you’d say.
and no matter how much you try
to push me into being a person i’m not,
i’ll always have this love for you
in the heart that you broke.
or did i break it?
after all,
i didn’t have to type in those numbers.
2111.
this isn’t the best, but i haven’t posted in a while, so i thought i should.
alexa Oct 2019
i don't think i've truly accepted the fact that the people around me affect me so greatly. i am not me because of me; i am me because of my past and my present.

none of us are purely ourselves. we have our own opinions and our own way of seeing and wording things but we are all different pieces of different people put together.

maybe my thoughts are overwhelming me. maybe i'm looking too deep into things. all i know is that i don't really know me. i guess no one truly does.
idk. im sad and this is what happened.
Simon Oct 2019
Not restricted by it. Only restricted by it’s tame. Bright and vigorous! Tempting to be better than a dying phase. Light prompting the taming call of its energy. Becoming more vibrant. Conclusive to it’s claims. Parting ways without mentioning why dying light is its fate. Being tamed. Tempting to hold dear energy supplies for it’s withering gaze. Prompting to feel (it shouldn’t matter). Am I wanting to become more of a spectacle, or something?! I’m a dying light. Not the uptick in brighter horizons. Just the low dimming effect of a once broader frequency. Detesting the restrictions altogether. Nothing better to accept one’s fate. Rather then battling one thinking that (holding on, is a miracle). No! It’s a natural death sentence. And I’ll gladly pay it! If it means I get to be myself again. Dying light pays respects to its own slurring pause. I seeee…I seeeeeee… IIII…seeeeeeeee!!! I’m causing my own fate. Feeling the tame of its restrictions falling off. Like chains buckled to every brightened photon in the complex. Bright and vigorous! Just like last time. This was different. A struggle thinking (what isn’t a self damaging effect)? But a structure of succession! Never temping my dying phase. Which is smarter then accepting varieties. The slurring pause was no more. Restrictions were no more. I am dying light. And I will shine on other broken lights losing their light in self-deluded stages.
Light isn't equal if thinking it needs to be brightened more, just to fit in. It's not about others, until you accept your brightened ferocity revving in your heart!
Esther L Krenzin Apr 2019
I have been unmade and made anew
bolts loose, screws askew
metal stitches holding jagged words abrew
Light a match, no make it two
don't smile at me
I know its true
don't construe my issue
with you
respects not owed and its not due
don't feed me lies
my trust you blew
spooned shards of glass
masked subterfuge.

Don't cast me out
don't look away
I'm a stowaway
renegade
castaway
what makes you think I will obey?
I know the face that I portray
like I'm asking to be betrayed
but cut some slack, bits of leeway
I'll scrounge for scraps
don't make me pay
you cut my tongue, I won't soothsay
the odds for me will soon outweigh
just watch I'll drop this masquerade
and I'll cutaway
to counterweigh
this disarray
replay
this wordplay
display of
swordplay
'cause I'm a stowaway
renegade
castaway

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-
sierra gautschi Apr 2019
Unforgettable is what you are.
I hear your truths; I accept your scars.
perfection in its own way
Erica Sep 2018
you know i still love you
but i will always hate you too
for so many reasons
leaving me alone at 6 on friday nights till 10am the next day
i never ate enough
you never noticed
i never did my homework and lied saying i did
you hardly checked
i hurt myself
you never noticed
but you're my dad, i can't just only hate you
but i feel the need to
cause the pain you put me in
i will never forget
the phone calls that i have to initiate with a text
i'm sorry i'm a bad child
i'm so sorry i'm ****** up
and i'm sorry you don't know how to parent
i'm sorry i love my mom more than i'll ever love you
but i love you dad
you know i do
you just don't know how much i hate you
thanks for kinda raising me
you yelled
i cried
you drank
i cut
you smoked
i smoked
you slept
i drank
you went out
i stayed up till you got home
i'm sorry but i feel the need to say goodbye
to the father i wished you were
so i fan finally accept the real father you are
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2019
I wish you felt same as I do
Wish you were hurting like me
Can't even look at other guys
You make moving on look so easy

I wish you cried yourself to sleep each night
Wish you were haunted by dreams
You're too busy to think about me
At least that's the way it seems

You make time for everyone else
Not the girl you used to love
I will never be enough for you
No longer who you're daydreaming of

I hate that after four months
Still haunted by what used to be
Want to let go but it's so hard
Accepting that you don't want me
This was written 2/25/13 after I got my first serious dumping
In the darkest hour of his darkest night,
A man sat hunched with his dwindling light,
A sliver of hope behind all his fright,
Memories keeping him from giving up the fight,
For he just needed to make it through alright.

In the deepest crevice in his hollow heart,
Like an ancient piece of forgotten art,
Lay his very soul that keeps falling apart,
Every second stung like a poison dart,
His very being crumbles part by part.

In his sickened body runs so many a mark,
In his bloodless skin looks so very stark,
In his hollow head the eyes became dark,
Lifeless and empty as an abandoned park,
His parched throat struggling to bark.

He just needed to pass through tonight,
Keeping all the monsters at bay with all his might,
Making most of the warmth from his dying light,
And yet after all this senseless flee and flight,
His very old friend found him and said 'Goodnight'.
Goodnight
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