Back in elementary school, they used to ask if we had telepathy.
If we could magically read each other’s thoughts,
and talk without words.
Our answer was always yes.
In reality, we both knew we couldn’t.
But back then,
we were still young enough to pretend magic existed.
So I’d face him, cross my fingers,
and pray we were still close enough to understand each other—
just this once.
As we got older, our answers started to differ.
I think that’s when I noticed we were slipping.
Another question they asked:
Could we feel each other’s pain?
He always told them he could feel when I got sick,
when I got my period,
when I was hurting in my head.
Me?
I couldn’t feel a thing.
Sometimes I barely noticed when he was hurting.
But God…
if I could’ve taken his pain into my own body,
I’d have done it ten times over.
And again.
And again.
And again.
Until the only pain he ever felt
was the cramping from my periods.
They asked if we were close.
I thought we were.
I think he did too.
Truth is,
he’s been the only person I’ve known since birth
who’s still here.
I held onto him tightly.
Too tightly, maybe.
I told him what to do—not to control him,
but because I was scared he’d drift.
Scared that if he found better friends,
I’d be replaceable.
Disposable.
Maybe I still am.
But all I know is I’m still here.
Because of him.
Someday, we’ll drift.
I know we will.
He’ll have a life, and so will I.
Someday I’ll flip through old photographs
when I’m wrinkled and slow,
and my grandchildren will ask about the boy next to me,
the one holding me so tightly my face is smooshed.
And I’ll tell them,
“That was my best friend.”
I’ll close my eyes,
and wish I was still young enough to believe
forever might exist.
When I sleep, I’ll be fourteen again.
You’ll still be there.
And that’s all I ever wanted.
In your own house,
you’ll hear birdsong outside your window.
And you’ll remember me—
because I always told you I’d haunt you in every life.
Even as a bird.
But in every universe,
I’ll be your sister.
And in each one,
I’ll hold you closer during the times I didn’t know how to.
I’ll tell you I love you,
so you never doubt I was there for you.
I hope someone loves growing old with you
as much as I loved growing up with you.
Sincerely,
Your Twin Sister.
