#abusive poems on Hello Poetry

may Feb 2018

Defeated

The chills I get when these thought begin
Almost feels like it’s December again
You are in fact
A low life piece of crap

I cannot even begin to address
What kind of a mess
You brought when walking into our life
She was the patient and you were the sergical knife

Piercing into her skin like a doll
with the nasty words; punches; and all
When she tried to seek better
You laughed because she knew you wouldn’t let her

Leading her to believe that all she will ever need
Are a couple pills and of course you’d succeed
And while all this was going on
Her kids were worried from dusk til’ dawn

At those times when we needed her the most
You only found the need to boast
Said that she will never ever care
As long as you were breathing the same air

I know everything is different now
Finally gone from the picture, wow
My mother has turned her life around
There’s nothing you could do to drag her down

She has learned from the past
Now I’m the one laughing at you for thinking that it would really last
Always remember that each day that you’re living
You’re the last person I will be forgiving

#abusive #vividmemories #thoughts

KJ Feb 2018

healing hearts

I used to see the world
In shades of black and blue
Like the imprints of hands
Like the images of my bruised skin

With you, my dear, I see in color
A new world is awakened,
With you by my side
Slowly healing my scarred heart

Sometimes my world fades
I go back to hues of blue
The bleakest shades
Memories **** me in, suffocate

You bring me back
Set my feet in place
Your easy smile, admiring eyes
Pull me back to earth

You're ridiculous and difficult
You care too much
I know I don't deserve it
But someday, I'll earn that devoted love

this poem is a bunch of ******* that means absolutely nothing. just another disappointment wrapped up like a gift box, only to be found dark and empty.

#depression #depressed #healing #past #abusive #relationship #help #hope

KJ Feb 2018

annoyance of apologies

I’m sorry
I’m sorry for always saying sorry
I’m sorry I don’t know how to not feel sorry

I’m sorry if you don’t understand
Why I have to always say sorry
I’m sorry

Sorry sorry
I’m sorry for everything
Apologize for breathing

I’m sorry I let him make me feel sorry
Panic at imaginary mistakes
I’m sorry

I had to apologize for being alive
So sorry, don’t be angry
I’m sorry

I made sure to apologize
When he got that look in his eye
I’m so sorry

Don’t make eye contact
Look down at the ground
I’m sorry

Sorry sorry sorry
I’m sorry
Maybe someday, I won’t feel sorry

sorry

#sorry #depressed #depression #abusive #emotional #anxiety #anxious #hurt #self #concious

KJ Feb 2018

for him.

I can still hear your voice
Your whispers of painful truths
Your hands slide around my waist
I have to suppress a shiver of disgust

I can still feel your fingers
Curled tightly around my wrist
In a bruising grip
Your anger coats the room

I can still hear the sound
Of things thrown around your room
Yelling and screaming
The panic rising in me

I can still feel your breathe on my neck
The memory makes me shudder
Possessive hands on my hips
“You’re mine” is supposed to be endearing right?

I can still hear your rules
Echoing in my head
Don’t talk to them, don’t go out
Don’t you dare disobey me

I can still feel every bruise
I can hear all the horrible things you told me
I am worthless
Who could want me, besides you?

I may still hear you
I may still feel you
But I do not need you
And someday, I will not believe you

I can finally write about it.

#depression #anxiety #depressed #abusive #hurt #controlling #manipulative #healing

Dresden Feb 2018

Eyes forward.

Unanswered questions float with me for days
Eating at my brain, making me decay
But this feeling inside of me, I can’t easily abandon
Its familiarity is comforting
And I’m not easily beaten

And so I chase after you with optimism
Hoping you’ll turn around and see my all
Standing there with open arms
So ready to catch you when you fall

There’s one simple reason why I do this to myself
Even if it’s just a remote possibility
More than anything I’m afraid to turn around
And see that there’s nothing behind me

#lust #relationships #abusive #infatuation #desire #lgbt #queer #lesbian

Britney Lyn Jan 2018

Purple and Blue

Cannot sleep, all these memories are haunting me; purple and blue, a gift from you.
Will they stay? When will they fade?
To die like the happiness that seems to have left me, oh so heavy.
Take this heart, stomp out all the little pieces you created, all the pieces that you hated.
Hide my face away from the hidden, show me only to the blind.
Trust is not something that is easily given, especially from this heart of mine.
Lying on the ground, where you struck me down; battered, betrayed, I pray for the day.
Someone save me, for I am too shattered to do so myself, someone save me from this life that is my hell.
Help.

I wrote this piece 6 years ago today.

#beating #abuse #abusive #fight #purple #blue #bruises #beaten #struck #face

Em Jan 2018

Grip

You'd grip
my thighs with your fist
and your words

and you'd tell me
I wouldn't be
me
without you.

I listened
as you reminded me
that I was nothing
but your girl.

And you'd promise me
that you would
save me.

You owned my body
my heart
my future
and my mind.

But today I hope
you curl your fist
and choke on your old words
because now I am
Everything
Without you.

It's been a year but this war isn't over.

#love #hate #relationships #abuse #abusive #sad #sadness #*** #sexuality #******

JoAnna Nelson Jan 2018

An Apology for Apologizing

The reason why I apologize
So profusely over the tiniest of things
Is because I always feel as though
I am a bother and annoyance so
I want the person to be aware that
I am truly sorry for the mishap
I may have brought about or the wrong words that may have come out of my mouth
Because in the past I had to apologize again and again
A million sorries I must have said
Just to get the point across
Just to assuage the anger I unintentionally caused
I apologize repeatedly
Because I fear not being taken seriously
When I say sorry I mean it with all of my heart
I apologize even when people say I am not at fault
Because in the past I was always the one guilty
I was always in the wrong
Because when that rage came up and rolled along
It rolled right over me
And so I said sorry
I said sorry to the steamroller for being in its way
And for the broken bones and bruises on my heart that I carried for days
I apologize for apologizing
Because I know I must sound so repetitive and annoying
But I feel as though I can't apologize enough
To make up for and cover up
Whatever sin I may have committed against the one I am apologizing to
Because when you say it’s okay I always fear it’s not true
Because in the past those hiccups and bumps
That weren't even my fault were held against me for months
No matter the amount of times I said sorry and meant it
And the number of times I tried to fix
The mangled mess that wasn't mine but that I was still apologizing for
It was like going to war
But I waged it and gave my best effort
To stitch and sew up the jagged cuts
Of long angry nights and an alcohol filled gut
But failed and then apologized when the seams ripped and tore
Because no matter what I did was going to restore
What used to be
Or repair the damage that happened before me
And so I am sorry for that
That I couldn't make it better because I lacked
Whatever it was you were looking for
But that constant state of feeling guilty is what sent me out the door
And I am free of that weight now
But I still feel the need to say sorry for every little mistake now
Thanks to you I sound like a record stuck on repeat
So I’m sorry that I say sorry too much
But I never know when enough sorries are enough

#sorry #emotionally #abusive #relationship #damage #done

Angela Rose Jan 2018

L.O.V.E

L is for the way I lose my breath
O is for the only one I am allowed to see
V is very very extra over protective
E is even more reclusive than I have ever been before

And love is all that I have given to you
Love is just a sadistic game to you
We are not in love, we fake it
You've taken my heart and done more than just break it
Cause this "love" was not made for me and you

This is a straight on poetic twist on the song "L.O.V.E" by the late Nat King.

#love #abusive #trigger #sadistic #reclusive #poetry #pain #music #lyrics #games

Jillian McLean Jan 2018

Abused

She was abused,
you were the abuser

You were amused
But all you did was use her.

J.M

#relationships #problems #abused #abusive #abuse #emotional #damage #heartbreak #trauma