While you weren't here
I cried every night.
A million tears fell,
Still my heart wasn't right.

While you weren't here
I did what I could,
Hoping against hope
My decisions were good.

While you weren't here
I gained some in age.
Things just went on
And life turned a page.

While you weren't here
I just tried to go on,
Knowing what didn't **** me
Would only make me strong.

While you weren't here
A whole lot got changed.
My life became different,
My world rearranged.

While you weren't here
I had to learn to be alone,
To stand on my two feet,
To make my own home.

So that's where I am now,
At this stage of my life,
Still scared and alone,
Still coping with strife.

And oh how I wish that
Things could be different,
That I could go back
To a time in the past,

To a time before
You weren't here.

It was your choice
I wasn't your boss
I had no voice
It was your loss
I wished you'd stayed
I should have chased
I never betrayed
I never replaced
I wanted you back
I let you go
If you were to ask
I'd have to say no
I changed my mind
I would say yes
I tried to be kind
I should've guessed
It's not your fault
It's you I blame
In every thought
I play this game

I blend with the crowd of those resembling,
Torn, abandoned, empty and waste,
Meek and faded, walking with bows,
Forgotten the hand warmth, the others, unfaced.

The others, who’ve lost both faith and nerves,
The others, who’ve learnt a cruel lesson,
The others, walled up to the full limit,
The others, whose souls are wholly lessened.

Can you tell me
How it feels to be disconnected?
Was it string by string
Or did you rip it off all at once?

When you looked at me
Did you see the color in my eyes?
Or did you see black and white
Before you looked away?

Was it hard?
Hesitation, doubts, guesses
Or was it easy?
Simple, quick, effortless

When we touched
Did you feel that electricity?
Or did your hand
Only felt an object?

As I loved you
Did you love me?
Or did you just
Say it awkwardly?

When I thought of you
Did you think of me?
Or were your thoughts randomized
With everything but me?

I asked how it felt
Because I am still connected
To someone who is gone
Who pulled away so effortlessly

A red string of fate
Severed by you
And I asked myself
How can I do the same?

Dear Mom,
Have you forgotten?

Sitting, waiting, hoping

Where did you go, Mom?
Did I do something wrong?

Lost, lonely, sad

Are you really gone, Mom?
I waited...
I'm with my grandparents now, Mom.
I have a room now.
Are you there, Mom?
Can you hear me?

Tired, crushed, defeated

Started school again.
It's my birthday, Mom!
It's okay, I don't need a birthday card.

Broken, lacking, sorrowful

Broke an ankle, Mom.
Got a school award.
Are you happy?

Undefined, sinking, heartbroken

Went to the school dance, Mom.
Had my first relationship!
Do you miss us, Mom?

Warped, torn, tangled

You're really gone now.
Why?
I'm moving on now, Mom.
I miss you.
I love you.
Goodbye.

i know being lost.
been walking around
these woods for a while now,
same trees and same moss.
remind me again
what side does it grow on,
the south or the north?
it's not like the difference
makes any difference,
but it might make me feel
a little bit better.
same traps
and same hunting spots.
i can't really tell
a noose from a ladder,
that's probably
why i'm still here.
been trying to see
the sun for a while now,
but there's nothing but leaves.
eventually everyone leaves.
i know being lost.
taught myself
the art of surviving
all on my own,
but i'm getting tired.
my water is gone,
my food is expired.
still hoping to find a way out
out of spite,
wondering what it would feel like
to be underground.
out of sight,
out of mind.
been walking around
these woods for a while now.

I knew the ways you wanted me to love you
I knew all the languages of love between us
The touching, the actions, the words, emotions
I knew how that spark felt between our hearts
I knew how to whisper those words to your soul
Unfortunately, I wish I knew the languages or actions
That could have made you stayed

If I am not rage, then what am I?

I tried love, trust, patience, empathy

They were accepted out of courtesy

But discarded like an inconvenience

If I am not anger, then what am I?

I tried so very hard, so much time

Just to receive little effort and no time

Just to be abandoned and misled

If I am not anger, nor am I rage itself

Then I am the pain you gave to me