The grip is tight without remorse
Suppressing memories of my execution
Betrayal sharp and thin as a knife between the spine
The uneasieness of the crippling fear of defeat
Secrets so sick they stench of rotting flesh

Forgiveness is an elixir
A medicine for the pain
Abandon thyself in means
To achieve a place of tranquility

Self is all I have
Self will last indefinitely
Self betrayal is thick
Like mud on the bayou
Like oil on the water
An eye for an eye
Vengeance, as the mere result of vulnerability

Free yourself,
Let it go
Find a way to feed your soul.

You have been offline for an entire day.
You are kissing another girl,
I just know it.
You are caressing her soft hair,
you are getting rid of her silk underwear,
you are loving her on your bed,
wrapped in the sheets that once covered our bodies.
You are falling in love with her,
no,
you are already in love with her.
You are going to abandon me.

My heart shrinks and I can't breathe.
Why, why couldn't you love me?
Why couldn't it be me?
You are going to abandon me
as soon as you turn on your phone.
Maybe I should abandon you first,
maybe I should disappear,
maybe this way it would hurt less.

Then you are online again,
you say "Henlo" with the "n"
as you always do,
and I'm waiting for you to tell me about the girl,
that you are sorry,
that you didn't mean to.

But you tell me your battery died
and that you collapsed drunk on your friend's bed
and that you miss me.

Suddenly, I can breathe again.
You didn't abandon me.
But that sneaky thought is still in the back of my head:
you didn't abandon me yet.
But you will.

she glared at her
as she disappeared
from her life,
and maybe from her memory...

she never felt loved,
this was a hurt,
but not as much
as it could be...

she lived her life
like any normal kid,
thought of you a little,
not much from day to day.

If you didn't want her then,
she won't want you now,
you left her,
now she will steer you away

I plug my headphones in
The music echoing like pleas of wanted freedom

This town is dying.

No cars on the roads
No sound on the streets

Ghost town.

The apartments forsaken
The stores losing business
The people losing interest

Of a dead town

i almost abandoned you, my old friend.

i apologize.

it's just lately i haven't the time

to pay you a visit since the last.

but now, i am twisting Time's leg

for time with you again.

what do i call you?

never mind that, how have you been?

oh, silly me...

you don't exist.


for the one i abandoned


is really

me.

An empty boat glides through a tide-less sea
Echos of thunderous silence reminisces the rowdy sailors once on board
Without fear they sailed across the dark waters
Without the knowledge of forthcoming doom they kept the spirits high
Navigation impaired by the wrath of silence, their abominable gaiety and preposterous hopes were muted for eternity
Life drained, flesh rotted, bones crumbled to dust, and the boat was filled with peaceful death
Though without an inhabitant it still continues to drift towards a predesitned chaos
Its calm trail behind disrupted by an impatient tranquility
Its still path ahead disallows all animations with an unfluent time
Yet it moves forward

"Do what I say no matter the cost"
I am what they want me to be
My feelings are numb
My soul is lost
It's fine if I'm not whole
All they need is my body
My bones cry out
My skins is a sheet covering the holes
I have little energy to even breathe
I cry till my lungs have no air
I stuff my face in a pillow
My jaw aches while I clench my teeth
All the oxygen in the room leaves
Dark thoughts swarm my head
Depression holds me while I heave
I could just die
I feel worthless, I am nothing
I watch as everyone leaves
I don't know how long I can do this
Got to get away
Its not like I'll be missed
No one around me cares
I'm a breathing corpse
I guess its true
Life's not fair