the stars won’t shine here
and it’s more than some can bear
a whole world mutinied and started living in Clouds
monotony scaled trees until it screened the firmament


yet there’s one left behind with the rot
pondering the theft of good health
the kind that improves the lot
shallow as a bath

Butterflies spilled forth from her mouth,
Like the promises I’d only dreamt to ever desire,
          And just as heavily, entered the chains,
          Bags to promise scars atop soil, long walks.

So come the tilling, the cull and the harvest
When merchants meet maidens, ***** hands wave
          And having seen the second fracture,
          At least I could share in the shouldering.

But the butterflies, eventually to crisp and husk
Under sun, stench and eventual ends prior Eden,
          Dull blades and edges broken
          Like the backs of those that believed before;

She’d be granted her wings, her winds and pomp,
Like the nights in Matamoros had promised –
          Leaving me the luggage and at the least,
          A scent of what love could mean.

please don't let me go,
I always tell you so;
my heart won't bear
yet another tear--
please don't leave me,
as I can only be
happy as a ray of light
dancing through the night
with you by my side
not fearing for cover to hide
and place my guards up high
afraid that love is a lie;
so stay, and please don't go,
for I may not know
how to smile again,
only knowing how to use a pen
to illustrate my tragedies
through poetic strategies

You say nothing as you watch me crumbling
Whispering a defiant 'i'm ok'
Tears streaming down my face
I'm not looking at you
You notice this
You say 'you're not'
I agree silently
I cannot find it within me to talk more
I am exhausted
I do not know how to explain how much i think about dying
I do not know how to seek help
But you know i am crumbling
You see
And you stare
Numbly blankly
Back at me
Hands in your pocket you do nothing
And i plead with you silently to help me
You notice this and you still stare
Numbly blankly
And then i collapse and i disappear
And you say 'what a shame. If only i had known'
And you walk away

I woke up on a ship upon the sea ,
Thinking I had finally found my sailor.
You had maps drawn with lines and X's marking spots of interest,
And I thought I was your favorite treasure.
Romanced me from land to sea, but turns out you are just another pirate looting girls hearts for pleasure.
Capsized, we've been hit, and you abandon ship,
And I abandon my anxious breath.
Drowning in emotions I become swallowed in the waves of tears.

Forgive my eyes for being blind.
They only see pain.

Forgive my hands for shaking.
I can't stop them from being afraid.

Forgive this head for over-thinking.
I can't feel safe.

Forgive my tears for being absent.
My eyes are not aloud to cry.

Forgive my body for not being able to feel.
It isn't strong enough to bear it's pain.

Forgive my heart for being silent.
It was silenced long ago by a bad man.