is this it...
my rush to an 8x8 cubicle
9 hours of mind numbing minutiae
my penance for a manicured, 4 bedroom, 3 level slice of suburban heaven
then my mind reviews all I've seen in my life
and I say
small price to pay.

Dreaming out my subconcious
because I miss the idea of us.

You were up high in my apartment tree,
swinging side to side in a wooden seat.
I called out your name
but you didn't hear me--
Kept smiling at what you couldn't see.

At another slumber sleep,
I drove my car to your Murrieta home.
Had a hundred friends in the back seat
which meant I wasn't alone.
I knew I had the means of a GPS
which meant I didn't have to guess.
Had my memory when I knew you best.
*******
I swear I knew my way there.
So why was I lost in some deja vu despair?
Could no longer find my way
to your home in the middle of the day.

At another slumber feat,
we walked hand in hand on the fashion island.
You pushed me away in a tone
replying to some big question with a No.
And as you walked away from me
in front of the crowd to see,
I ran around the island
weeping like a street drunkard.
Sirens appeared to me--
offering sympathy at my dismay
but I kept sulking in a haze.

I dream out my subconcious
because I miss the idea of us.
Bang Bang

I yearn
for a touch
I haven’t yet
experienced.

< - - Housekeeping - - >

Why is there no checklist for life?
Can you say … recipe for disaster …
If you’re planning to fail …
… then you’re failing to plan

I cut my teeth in a house where we could eat off the floor if we so desired
The floor was either that clean or some other innate wisdom was built into that statement

And I thought my inane wisdom came from ...

Do you, don’t you want me to love you?
#9 #9
Now somewhere in the Black Mountain Hills of Dakota
**** Sadie you broke the rules
Singing in the dead of night
Obla-di
Why don’t you stare into your own Glass Onion

… Beatles

(My head is spinning, ooh...
Ha ha ha, ha ha ha, alight!
I got blisters on my fingers!)

For everything has its own start
That change has its own beginning
It is when everyone took part,
And unity's no longer missing

Indeed nothing is impossible
Almost anything can happen
Even in our minds so fallible,
Our thoughts with problems so laden

Such inevitability
Confided with misconceptions
But change is an ability
All are provided with options

Now to all those who are asking,
Yes, change is linked with everything
Today can be the beginning-
The beginning of everything.

Hands clawing outward from a mass grave
Mouth gasping for air,
Lungs filled with invisible smog
Mind too indoctrinated to care

Pressed in against the walking dead
Face to face, toe to toe –
Clammy fingers entwining by seeing
Unseeing eyes staring into a blank void you well know

Drifting with the metal cage
Jerking back, coasting sideways, never flinch
Some escape, more cram in –
Nearing hellish Purgatory inch by inch

A screeching halt, your turn to flee –
Into the glass maze obediently file
Skinner's rats – jolted by punishment
Yet tomorrow you’ll do it again – another card on the pile.

I have so much of you
In my heart