Sick of platitudes,
emotional contusions,
and little white lies.

I’m tired of the ghost;
this minefield of keywords and
it’s all just a game.

I’ve never had a
birthday party and now I’m
too old for magic

Light candles for me,
put a girl inside my cake.
Sing a song for me.

It’s just a party.
I’m just another sad boy.
Just another night.

Let me sleep
Let me eat
Let me forget
The taste of you and the smell of alcohol on us both

Let me shower again
Let my dreams not be filled with you
Let the “harmless” teasing stop
Because everyone believes its harmless but I really can't get you out of my head

Let my thoughts be free
Let me feel okay again
Let my skin feel like mine
Without the ghost of your hands all over it

It was nice
It was not supposed to happen
Let it go away
Let me move on
Let it be okay to keep talking to you
Without it seeming awkward or wrong

Let It Be....

I was going to tell you

That I think I’m falling in love

With you

It’s just that I thought

You’d have enough to celebrate today

It being The Fourth and all

July 4th is a Holiday filled with celebration,
Complete with BBQs and Fireworks
And exclamations of "Happy Independence day"
But people seem to fail to add the asterisk at the end
The hidden meaning, the fine print, the text between the lines if you will.
Because July 4th is not everyones's independence day.
July 4th only signifies the independence of a particular group of people
A group of people who fought for their freedom, but didn't allow it in their own back yards.
When these people were out celebrating their independence, my ancestors, my family, where in fields, working, in houses trying to stay alive
My women trying to stay away from their masters ****** them-
Whoops, sorry, I meant "Celebrating."
So what reason do I have to call July 4th my independence day?
If anything, my independence day is December 16th, the ratification of the 13th amendment
Or Juneteenth
Or January 1st, the day that the emancipation proclamation was ratified.
So while everyone else is celebrating the New Year, I think about what else that day has brought
Brought about the freedom of a people, my people.
Made them citizens, made them real, made them free.
Well, kinda free.
We've come so far.
And of course, I am not trying to blame white people today for what happened in the past, they should not be held accountable for the actions of the people from whom they've descended
But instead I want my black brothers and sisters to think, to remember, where we are coming from.
So yes, I hope everyone has a happy independence day*
Just keep in mind that it's not mine.

I stood up
From a small town
Worked up the wits
To become a city boy.
I had nothing
But my pickup truck
And the girl  I left behind.
A shame my locals said.
But I left to become a better man.
Not a breathless ******* as they said
But a solider  fighting for our country.
It is days like today  I have to remember
The things folks like you always forget.
There are people fighting
For you
For me
Should not be overlooked.
We are worth the cause
For me reloading my m16
Boots on the ground.
Head held high
Because  I'll  be home
To see the fireworks tonight.

I used to wake up
To the beat of the drums
And the pitter patter
Of solders outside my door
"at ease solder,
we're going to war"

They would say
As we crossed the valley
Green men, green trees
Passing us by
Without many to try
Many would die
Except my brother and I

We would fight the good fight
Even when he was gone
Many months at a time
But one day there came a knock
With many a medallion and a glock
Two men sent my mother into shock

I miss you brother
Though I didn't know
The stars and strips buried with your body
One last mission I sent my men on
To protect your body
With a green man in your hand
Your Purple Heart will glow

Grief hit me like a wave
Swelling up on the typically calm shore.
But I don't know if I can surf today.
Regret sinks in the pit of my stomach
Your voice echoing in my ears
Deep breaths, just hold it together
My lips are numb, this can't be real.

But it is.
And you're gone.

Fireworks lose their luster,
Dull against the dark of night.
I hear the cheers, but I don't feel them.
How can I when I just lost a piece of my heart?