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Can you see that soldier wearing white.
Marching peacefully in the night.

He made a promise not to fight.
Until he realizes what is right.

Can you see the killers monstrous size.
Too bad he's lead by two blinded eyes.

He is fed by a spoon of countless lies.
Full of arrogance, unable to realize.

And the young child hanging on an endless pole.
Afraid of falling into a black hole.

And the woman searching through her soul.
Desperately trying to find her role.

Open your eyes to see the light
It's a shame to think, whats wrong is right.
Put in mind that every night ends with light.
So soon it seems
I will step out of my dreams

Out of my poems
And into your arms

And once again
Willingly
Fall victim to your charms

And sweetly,  my dear
I'll surrender...

But first I will wrap your arms-
Then your legs
And tease you so badly
Make you beg

For a taste,
Or a touch,
Oooooooooo I love you so much!
 Aug 2014 Sylvia Nguyen
Sjr1000
Long Valley lay outside my bedroom window
high desert Northern Nevada,
each sunrise
rose
brilliant red
spirals
spires
exploding
in the passing dawn,
to
the petroglyphs
we were drawn.

The asphalt became a dirt road
then the dirt road ended.

Along Long Valley
like some drive through zoo,
herds of wild burros
cattle
sheep
grazing
separated by Pinion pines
the white sage
the dust devils
and the tumble weeds
and a 52 Studebaker body
perfectly preserved
in the high desert dry air
one could only wonder how it got there.

Long Valley had its own expanse
its own vibration to the air
distinct and unique
filled with wonder
way out there.

The petroglyphs
10,000 year old drawings
at once was
the shores of ancient
Lake Lahontan
you could feel it there.

Trying to decipher
the lines and curly cues
circles and swirls
stars and shapes
of
an alien consciousness
from another land
another time.

This was no one rock
but
acres and acres
of generations
communicating with one another
the rocks worn away
from thousands of years of sitting
forming perfect lounge chairs,
perhaps sitting alongside
some receding shore line.

There were  stone rock walls carefully stacked
mysteriously standing  scattered
in the desert
no one knows what it really means.

While lost in the tones
the scents and vision
of the millennium,
on the hillside
through the Tamarack
and Pinion
there emerged
four wild mustangs
at a distance
on the top of the ridge
not those that wandered
into our Virgina City yards

But wild animals
tied to the horses of the millennium.
Power and Strength
spirit gods
reminding us of where we were.
The winds blew
the black mane
of the male in front
wet from sweat
chest heaving in breath
and then they were gone
over the hill
from where they had come.

The petroglyphs were silent.
The sounds of the winds
the sounds of the small stream
less than a drop
in the once Great Lahontan Sea.

Before the sun went down
we needed to leave
driving along the sides
of dry river beds
up rocky hillsides
along the electrical lines
to the dirt road
to the asphalt
as the Long Valley
sunset shot
spires of red.
When the cowboys and silver miners left the Comstock, they abandoned their horses which became free and became the wild Mustangs often now considered a nuisance and often starving.  It's become another tragedy when civilization and nature meet.
The journey to the petroglyphs is a true story, my son James was there, father and son there's a whole other poem for another day.
The mustangs we encountered were healthy, free and truly wild animals, and the spirits of all animals that had once ran free.
I align myself with the notion I have it figured out .
But surreptitiously imagine traveling to the ends of the earth, until my mind is plastered with its beauty .

"But that's not a job " they say , "you can do that when you have money ."

It all comes down to the money , pieces of refined wood and words .
I have to get this morphised tree things to actually see those trees .
For how long ........

4 years

maybe 5 .........

15 ?

It displeases me, that maybe living through my worst fears could lead me to those trees .
Being confined into a little room and typing away on a ancient computer .
The smell of expired coffee and over polished leather shoes settling on my nose .  

"But what if I want to be creative then ?"

"Surely you can't mean being an artist " they scold

"No.....maybe architecture or graphics design ."

They nod , "yes those seem to get you the money then ."

But architecture means making buildings.
I can't , that would require me to reprogram my hand to stop the doodles of swirly lines and unfinished thoughts .
And to draw lines  of accurate straightness and concrete ideas .

Maybe I just don't want to grow up .
Yet I'm told I seem mature , held together .( the irony )
But that's because the system wants someone docile .
I just don't want to be observed,
so I squish myself into normal.  Just to be grey in the sea of discolored faces  .
I don't want to be picked out  and ridiculed for my indecisiveness .

But that will change when I have passed their tests . To move out of their schools .

Get the piercings I wanted and feel alive when I plunge into death contained situations

But I'm not sure though . I think about the future .

Repeating thoughts to people of what I want to do .
And each time I become less and less sure .

And more and more certain I will be made grayer , more uncertain . Then be the fraternal twin of black , white and have a bright light, coaxing me into the future .
 Aug 2014 Sylvia Nguyen
anna
she wakes in the morning to the glow of the sun, hoping that today will be different.
but she sits up and the exhaustion sets in. her bones ache and her limbs tremble.
i suppose that's a side effect from fighting your demons all night.

{KAH}
I'm never not tired
Today, I sent out at least another 10 advertisements of myself. It’s not fair. These potential employee seeking companies show me at least a thousand ads boasting about themselves, but I only got the time to send out a fraction of their words, and it’s somehow bad taste to show off my handsomeness. No pictures at all, just boring words, competing against the tacky hordes of plastic signs, overt lies, and labeled every things. I don’t even get any screen time, and if I could even afford it, they’d think I over did it. So I can’t use any ****** tricks to show my fluency in PR devilry? Y’all hypocrites.
Losing Focus.
It happens all the time
Knees deep in a conversation and i forget everything mentioned.
Stress suffocates.
Trying to impress and be confident is always shot down.
I try to be good.
Peer pressure and temptation sedate my morals.
Things I promise I won't do to myself are thrown out carelessly in a weak moment.
At times I can't stand myself.
I should know better but I still give in.
The emptiness that shadows me everyday is starting to feel welcoming.
Maybe it's easier than feeling pain of betrayal or guilt.
Maybe it's better than feeling second best.
I try to have faith, but I've lost my focus.
Slipping away..

I've lost myself.
This morning I figured:

(1) The reason I'm so thin is because sadness kills my appetite; I'm a love poet.

(2) I keep thinking about how, in order to complete the aesthetic of a damaged artist, I need even longer and even messier hair and a never-ending supply of cigarettes. I want to be the black Albert Camus.

(3) I'm obviously very, very bored because I've never smoked anything in my life.
La vie.
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