the green of the earth
has been well fed
weeded
coddled to look perfect
the grass lies even
measured by sight
and given the nod of approval
an empty head
an observant trust
comparisons to what's close
welcome to everyday americana
welcome to every neighborhood, USA
belted khakis
plaid short sleeved shirts
ball caps emblazoned with beloved teams
many digits in the bank
shiny car in the drive
1.2 kids
boasting chocolate covered faces
sticking out drooling tongues
dad's an *******
mom's a lush
but the fine schools accept them
the almighty dollar opens closed doors
"amen' on sundays
work on mondays
"oh, mr. smith" on top of the desk come tuesday
it's the continuation of what was
the non questioning of how it should be
a fat wallet
an obese gut
swollen lips bursting lustful obscenities
cooing lashes welcoming
a sweaty, squeezing grip
on the ***
everytown, USA
yourtown, of these United States
ablast with preversion
bloated with cash

what a sad state of affairs
do we project...

you're the positive one
or so you try and prove
plastered smile
flippant ways
but you haven't mastered
the concealment of your eyes
truth bursts from them
the sadness
   and anger
the insecurity
   and need

and the hurt
the hurt is most obvious

let the tears flow
let them wash away the falseness
know no shame
in being less than perfect
for less than perfect
is perfection at it's finest.

i'm strangely uncommitted
my voice is heard
by selective ears
any embrace i seek
must go through extensive
tests and research
i cannot give my heart
for it's under lock and key
and the key has long disappeared
i'm saddened by loneliness
a loneliness i've initiated
and the deadened feelings i've felt
offer me no comfort
this dire existence
leaves me incapable of love
but the yearning i feel
will never leave me.

i'm suffocated by loneliness
while waiting for an assumed
arrival
hope is always high
until the hours fade
and darkness is all around
by the wee springing
of morning light
i know the wait is over.

i could stare at the sky
for hours
watching the changes
and movements of clouds
dreaming
imagining
that all is good
all is simple
love embraces us
a laughing child
birds in song
the twinkling of chimes in the trees
all offer comfort
and together
it feels like a warm tap on the back
i could hide in these sounds
staring at the sky
imagining a place
so far from here.

rain
      to me
is like a double dose of ******
with a tequila chaser.

i don't have the convenience
of acceptance
too many questions
fill my head
dissection of a common assumption
is a necessity
and in the end
i am more confused
then ever.