a given hope
retracted
is what i expect
from you.

my search has ended
as my eyes fall
   upon you

in every aspect
   every observation
you are very wrong
   for me
but the creaking of my bones,
the weariness of my heart,
and the desperation in my soul
tells me
you
   are
      the
         one

so
i'm asking
   begging
willing
            you
to take my hand
to complete this journey
the journey i've claimed

then let me go

and follow through
on the journey
you've claimed
                      for yourself.

this world
my world
is filled with hope

gooey eyes
look up and beyond
with a hurtful yearning
searching for the unseen
and the unimaginable
grasping every
last
sliver
of what
might be

the weakened mind
hallucinates
sways to the beat of
a drum
only heard
by one

and when rested eyes
spring open
the hope
   the positiveness
is desperately
forcing it's way
through
to show the world
how happy
one can be

although within a slowly beating heart
the truth is heard

and felt.

feelings of
excitement
engulf my being
while walking through forests
kicking brown, crackling leaves

ready and willing
is what i feel
yearning for opportunity
   hoping for satisfaction
      and settling on bewilderment

because confusion
keeps the mind young
and the heart
pumping.

the pain starts
at the pit of my stomach
and slowly creeps upwards
toward my heart

an unsatisfactory vision
engulfs my soul
offering unwanted
feelings
of disheartenment
and despair

the fight i've fought
has weakened me
and acceptance
of a lesser existence
seems inevitable

still...
i concentrate vainly
on that one sliver
of hope
to pull me out of
this funk.

you are to me
something i've ignored
and tried to toss away
for years.

i've been added
to the labels of
obscure
obstinate
and obsolete
and i acknowledge
the judgement
with excitement
anticipation
and acknowledgement
of what i've known
all along.