be
cause
you never
should have
brought me to paris
if you had no plans of
staying in the first place.

my love has
faded into
e c h o e s -
voices
that
you
desperately
want
to
forget.

(but is it cruel
if i don't want you to?)

these are what remained from the war her heart fought;
these are all what's left and the others crumbled down a lot harsher than you 'atta thought;

these are the ruins of her heart;
shattered and broken and yet still beautiful.

i don't remember most of my days;
time flows right past me —
it's like everyone is moving,
and moving on fast;
but grief, my grief
nails me down as they pass;
watching it all slowly;
watching them live their
lives before me –
watching my life
move,
(move!
move!)
without
me

I was addicted to his smell,
but I couldn't help it, he was intoxicating;

His words got me drowning,
not only in thoughts but also in feelings;

He was like a drug.
and I could stop.
I couldn't stop

f
a
l
l
i
n
g

it was like a feeling of adrenaline;

they keep telling me to stop.
that I should leave him be.

and I should've listened, i should have.
because like all other drugs, he was dangerous and wicked.

and he turned out to be toxic for me.

now watch as I bleed out the words
that you've cut from my system;
watch me dig it out from the grave
that you buried me in;
stand and watch as I make a masterpiece
out of the chaos that you have created;
and let's see whose really losing.

do not be deceived with the illusion that I've painted;
you'd think I'd be the calm after the storm;
but inside this ball of sunshine,
I am nothing but a raging storm.

for i am but a mere collection of
cluttered thoughts personified.

°.   °.             °.         °  °.         °.   .         .      
°         °            °   .          .   °.     °.   °
    °         °        .         °      °.       . °      °.       .
°      °.          °        .        °       .   °.  
it's hard to stop yourself
   °      .      .      from drowning °.   .   °     °    .°      °.       .       °.       .       °.         .       °      °.       .       °.      when you can't .       °.         .       °.        .    °.    °     when you can't.    °.    °.      .    .    .
°     °.  .       .         °
°  .  even see the water nor the waves 
   you're supposed to be
   °      °.       .       °.       .       °.         .       °.        .    °.    °     °.    °.     °.      .    .    .
°     °.       .     °  fighting °.  °    °.   °     °    .°      °. °      °.       .       °.       .       °.         .       °.        .    °.    °     °.    °.     °.      .    .    .
°     °.       .       °.       .       °.         .       °.        .    °.    °     °.    °.     °.      .    .    .
°     °.  .    .     °.      °.      °°      °.       .    °.   .    °.    .    °.       °.   °      °.       .
          °.         °.    °

you stare at me,
as if i'm a scorching cup of coffee,
that you just can't stand to hold