Shi Em: Poems

i never truly minded having
these aches
if it were to mean that my
heart was still beating.
i would still prefer this over
most days where I feel like
my soul has been ****** out
of everything.

so at the very least -
thank you for reminding me that
my soul still resides
in this body that you've left
hanging with nothing to bleed
out but words.

part one: the thing about truth

Shi Em Oct 2018

part one: the thing about truth

is that no matter how much you wish for it to become a lie, it never will be.

and no, there is not going to be a part two, it is just what it is and what it will forever be, a part of a poetry unfinished.

polar opposites

Shi Em Mar 2015

polar opposites

we collided like stars on the vast night sky;
like the skies every time they cry;

but we were two different poles;
each one on a different stand;

you were the angel
and I was just a human on Earth's land;

as sinful as human can be,
all I really wanted was to love you for more than eternity;

and to love you with no boundaries;
but I guess that is just all but a possibility because really?

like they said we were never meant to be

lol idk about this but yea

#love #hearts #heartaches #opposites

ruins

Shi Em Mar 2016

ruins

these are what remained from the war her heart fought;
these are all what's left and the others crumbled down a lot harsher than you 'atta thought;

these are the ruins of her heart;
shattered and broken and yet still beautiful.

#love #fight #live

sandglass

Shi Em Apr 2023

sandglass

i don't remember most of my days;
time flows right past me —
it's like everyone is moving,
and moving on fast;
but grief, my grief
nails me down as they pass;
watching it all slowly;
watching them live their
lives before me –
watching my life
move,
(move!
move!)
without
me

sane

Shi Em Mar 2016

sane

I was in the edge of losing my mind;

Darkness tried to swallow me wherever I hide;
I lost everything including myself.

But there was one thing that remained;
The memories.

and though they were blurred, and weren't the same;
It was more than enough to keep me sane.

#memories #sane #left #remnants

short story [1]

Shi Em Nov 2018

short story [1]

“You’re a good man.” He said while leaving.

And I stood there as a tear fell down my eyes. I had left my home because I was unbecoming more and more myself each day. I was afraid that the evil inside had completely swallowed me whole so I ran away. Leaving, thinking I was the devil, and yet here he was – a stranger, telling me that he sees something good left in me that remained, and my heart hurts because I wanted nothing more than to believe him.

some love are habits

Shi Em Aug 2024

some love are habits

some love are habits
you try your best to unlearn —
you try your hardest to break away from them
but they end up breaking you in return.

08.27.14 / 12:47pm

the irony, i guess.

Shi Em Jun 2018

the irony, i guess.

i write short poetries,
because I am so tired
of keeping these feelings for so long.

things i find hard to accept [1]

Shi Em Dec 2018

things i find hard to accept [1]

sometimes i find myself
slipping into the brink of insanity,
it feels like all it takes
is one last push
before I break completely.

help me.

toxic

Shi Em Mar 2015

toxic

I was addicted to his smell,
but I couldn't help it, he was intoxicating;

His words got me drowning,
not only in thoughts but also in feelings;

He was like a drug.
and I could stop.
I couldn't stop

f
a
l
l
i
n
g

it was like a feeling of adrenaline;

they keep telling me to stop.
that I should leave him be.

and I should've listened, i should have.
because like all other drugs, he was dangerous and wicked.

and he turned out to be toxic for me.

triumph

Shi Em Aug 2017

triumph

now watch as I bleed out the words
that you've cut from my system;
watch me dig it out from the grave
that you buried me in;
stand and watch as I make a masterpiece
out of the chaos that you have created;
and let's see whose really losing.

This little one has been created because I got inspired by Taylor Swift's new song, Look What You Made Me Do. So yes.

#chaos #masterpiece #bleed #live #lose #win

Untitled

Shi Em Apr 2019

Untitled

there are days where
i feel that i am lucky,
and there are days where
i feel that i am not;
there are also days
where i feel like everything is too much,
that all these feelings
are just a lot to take in,
and that i would just explode
considering everything that i am feeling;
but there are days,
no - there are more days
where i feel as though I feel nothing at all,
and that is the worst feeling of it all.

Untitled

Shi Em Mar 2017

Untitled

we take too much of very little things
just to satisfy our never ending cravings
we give too little of what we have too much
because that's how we work,
*us, selfish human beings

Untitled

Shi Em Jul 2016

Untitled

but then they push you so hard and then wonder why you fell and got broken

#sigh

Untitled

Shi Em Jul 2019

Untitled

and as it turns out,
i am but a poet only
of the circumstance;

Untitled

Shi Em Jan 2020

Untitled

but you didn't have to love me,
i just wanted you
to at least respect me enough
to stop pretending that you do.

Untitled

Shi Em Jan 2017

Untitled

i wonder if someone ever
bothered to put back
the pieces of myself that
i've left behind.

Untitled

Shi Em Mar 2017

Untitled

sometimes giving up
pushes you to start moving
forward

Untitled

Shi Em Aug 2019

Untitled

but if i choose to stop it altogether,
can you be the first one to let me go?

Untitled

Shi Em Jul 2017

Untitled

People talking,
people coming,
people leaving,
and yet here I am,
stuck in the same place,
still unmoving.

Untitled

Shi Em Jul 2019

Untitled

you weren't mine to keep,
but you were mine to miss

Untitled

Shi Em Oct 2018

Untitled

There will be better days
and everything will turn out
to be okay.
Someday.
Yes, soon it will be.
I know that for sure.

-but for the meantime, it is going to be a very long and painful wait.

Just hold on a little while longer.

Untitled

Shi Em Feb 2020

Untitled

healing hurts.

Untitled

Shi Em Aug 2020

Untitled

i hate my weight
and all my weighted thoughts

Untitled

Shi Em Aug 2024

Untitled

but I am old enough now
to have my fears comfort me;
and have the things I love
chain me in fear -

Untitled

Shi Em Jun 2019

Untitled

Please don't lie to me,
cause I'll know -
and I will still end up believing you.

Untitled

Shi Em Oct 2018

Untitled

They say pain hurts the most when it comes
knocking on our doors unexpectedly,
but I would beg to differ.
The most painful type of pain
takes years to cultivate.
it is when we,
for some reason
become so used to it
to the point that we become numb,
turning into statues of empty souls
dressing up as humans.

Untitled

Shi Em Mar 2017

Untitled

I give up.

Untitled

Shi Em Jul 2020

Untitled

but calm nights like tonight makes me fear what tomorrow might bring.

Untitled

Shi Em Aug 2017

Untitled

I've woven so many words
into these sheets in hopes
that someday it will be enough
to keep me from falling apart.

Untitled

Shi Em Apr 2017

Untitled

she was a puzzle in a piece of art
painted down on an empty canvas
as splatters of different colored ink
completing a masterpiece that cannot be understood
by all **** means
and yet there he was staring,
a tear falling from his eye,
as it pierced through every little parts
of his broke down soul

Untitled

Shi Em Jan 2017

Untitled

and so everytime I stare
at the mirror;
all i can see is a remnant
of who i ever was.

Untitled

Shi Em Mar 2017

Untitled

the words that are left unsaid
are the ones that mean the most

Untitled

Shi Em Jan 2018

Untitled

do not be deceived with the illusion that I've painted;
you'd think I'd be the calm after the storm;
but inside this ball of sunshine,
I am nothing but a raging storm.

Untitled

Shi Em Apr 2017

Untitled

and so she imprints it on a paper,
desperately wishing that it would seal the time,
where she lived, and grieved,
as well as loved,
hoping that in her next lifetime,
she would stumble upon that book again,
innocently scavenging through the pages,
and having it touch her soul,
oblivious to the fact that
it was her memories all along

Untitled

Shi Em Mar 2017

Untitled

but I know,
that the only reason that we're together,
is because you see her in me,
but I want you to remember,

i'm my own person too.

Untitled

Shi Em Jun 2019

Untitled

if growing up meant
bottling it all up inside
then i guess we're just
a bunch of dead bodies
drowned in an ocean of our own despairs.

Untitled

Shi Em Dec 2019

Untitled

and then the scars -
they fade away
in the morning.
but deep inside,
everything is still there.

Untitled

Shi Em Jul 2017

Untitled

different colored cups,
different seasoned tea,
what a wonderful beauty,

Humanity.

Untitled

Shi Em Sep 2019

Untitled

and after everything,
and even despite anything,
you still have every right to be happy.
remember that.

Untitled

Shi Em Jan 2019

Untitled

If I could do it all over again,
I'd still choose to have my heart
taken by you
no matter how many times its
bound to break

Untitled

Shi Em Mar 2017

Untitled

But I have built my walls so
high and strong,
that I can't seem to find a way
to break them down.

i'm guessing this is my karma

Untitled

Shi Em Oct 2018

Untitled

No, but mamma
I am not just an echo
of who you used to be.

Untitled

Shi Em Jan 2019

Untitled

°.   °.             °.         °  °.         °.   .         .
°         °            °   .          .   °.     °.   °
    °         °        .         °      °.       . °      °.       .
°      °.          °        .        °       .   °.
it's hard to stop yourself
   °      .      .      from drowning °.   .   °     °    .°      °.       .       °.       .       °.         .       °      °.       .       °.      when you can't .       °.         .       °.       .    °.    °     when you can't.    °.    °.      .    .    .
°     °.  .       .         °
°  .  even see the water nor the waves
   you're supposed to be
   °      °.       .       °.       .       °.         .       °.       .    °.    °     °.    °.     °.      .    .    .
°     °.       .     °  fighting °.  °    °.   °     °    .°      °. °      °.       .       °.       .       °.         .       °.       .    °.    °     °.    °.     °.      .    .    .
°     °.       .       °.       .       °.         .       °.       .    °.    °     °.    °.     °.      .    .    .
°     °.  .    .     °.      °.      °°      °.       .    °.   .    °.    .    °.       °.   °      °.       .
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