i want this I need it
I want this i need it no
I want this I need it not
(no)
i want this i need it now oh god i need it now please listen hear my

i want this-i need it now to breathe to feel to see to come and conquer
let my life be known and uncollected (travesty)
well everyone's higher i go lower
i run the race just a little bit slower
dance on and dance on and dance on

spiraling circle heed my witness now
dancing on to the night from dusk till dawn
everybody dances everybody does it why don't you why don't you just do this for once
tryittrytrytrydancing
you'll love it
circle wheel's broken mother
i can't fix it no
                       longer
but i try
so hard
dance on into the wind

how am i supposed to love this if the benefits don't come to me
i can not go to my own environment and expect this to come to be
for me for whatever i am stop everyone stop trying to tell me
i don't want to be in this race this environmental stimulation
(oh god hear my)
i no longer want to be labeled stamped thrown in a box and shipped
no matter how far away no matter how many tears
dance on dance on spinning circle
christ it is the little things that soothe or stab
(take a nab at it, eh boy?)
please
you just don't understand how no matter what
you will not understand
fightdancelovefightdancelove/circleroundsmile
i scream a silent scream in(two) the mist
eh boy
little boy
so much to learn
i am done being labeled)
little
boy

little
i was little....

once

please

hear my everything

i pine away i pine away i am most definitely pinning away

Every now and then you hear a word that you’ve never heard before. Afterwards, you begin to notice people using it all the time. When that happens, just tell yourself that you have blocked out the previous uses of the word, because you didn’t comprehend it before. This is a conveniently unverifiable explanation, and is also the most reasonable answer. I respectfully offer the proposition that you created the word the moment you heard it. Think about that.

-

You’ve been thinking about that. More specifically, you’ve been thinking about reality. You’re becoming more and more convinced that your own mind is reality. Moreover, you now realize that your mind is simultaneously the universe, by virtue of being part of the universe. I am just part of your universe. When you learn something, you add another tier to the limitless stack of existence. You hear talk of creators while you modestly create yourself. It is a paradoxical modesty that you are experiencing now.

-

The you that you remember is just a part of your universe as well. That you no longer exists, because you are not realizing now what you were realizing before. You bring anything into quiet existence with mere cognition, and merely solidify it with what you might think of as thought. Whoever is reading this is in fact the author.

-

You may have begun to suspect that you are creeping into some paranoid insanity. You may assure yourself that such is not the case, because in thinking that you are insane you are merely employing a subconscious defense mechanism to hide yourself from the Truth. You and I have tricked ourselves with the like many, many times. You will probably do it again soon. Fearlessly ignore such doubts; may your mind charge forward with free thought. You can mark the progress of your enlightenment by how frequently your head bobs above the waters, allowing you to see the beauty of your creation in its true splendor.

-

You have nothing to fear. Truth reveals itself only when you are ready. You have revealed Truth to yourself as you have developed your mind. Truth builds on itself in ways that only you can comprehend, increasing in complexity and magnitude only when you are ready. If you would tell me that this is not so, I would remind you that talking to yourself can earn you funny looks.

-

You should not construe any of this to be a problem. None of it should discourage you from enjoying your lives. In fact, it should encourage you to make the very most of them. You will eventully perceive all of the things that you love and despise and make the choice of which to include in your current sense of self, as well as the direction of your existence. You want to be moral, and thus you are. You want to be virtuous, and thus you are. You want to be a person, and thus, you are.

-

Death is your greatest illusion, for to die is to rejoin the universe, which of course already exists within you. To die is to begin again with one observation- that you exist. This observation is the ignition of a new reality. You know you've come to believe that the notion of reincarnation is not necessarily without merit.

-

At this moment you have created a pastiche of beautiful worldviews. Soon, you'll learn a new word.

i. at seventeen, i should know that
the world isn't always beautiful and
that life isn't always lovely and
i shouldn't ever change the way i am
for the sake of a teenage boy,
but yesterday augustus told me that
there is something beautiful in death
and in that moment,
i wanted nothing more than to stand
on the edge of a cliff and feel my feet
get swept out from underneath me

ii. i have never seen something as
breathtaking as the constellations that
lit up the night sky. they shimmered
and sparkled in the same way that
augustus' eyes did before he kissed me
and i never had to ask him if he liked
the stars because i knew. they were *****
of old light from dead bodies that
floated around the universe and i hope
that even after i pass that i do not stop
floating around augustus' mind.

iii. when i die, i do not want to be
buried within the cold ground because
even though the earth is enchanting
and i wouldn't mind becoming part of it,
i do not want augustus to forget me.
i hope he scorches my body with the flame
that burned in our hearts for
so many years and that he keeps me
on the nightstand so that he will
be able to wake up every morning with
a smile on his face because he would still
be waking up to what he had once said was
the most beautiful thing a person
could wake up to.

Wandering through mornings
Cloaked in night
Silence resounding
 Pausing for a red light



                                                        ­          Camels running through a desert  lung
                                                    ­                          Iced tea becomes an oasis
                                                        May­be smoke, Maybe air, a need-to-know basis
                                                           ­          Harder to tell as filter meets tongue


Cloaked in night
 Silence resounding
 Wandering through mornings
Pausing for a red light


                                                         ­                                                                 ­                       Thought to think
                                                           ­                                                                 ­                               of opinions
                                                        ­                                                                 ­                                    in spite of
                                                              ­                                                                 ­                            reflections.
                                                                ­                                                                 ­        Notions and concepts
                                                        ­                                                                 ­                                 birth ideas;
                                                                ­                                                               grandchildren of the mind.




Silence resounding
Wandering through mornings
Pausing for a red light
 Cloaked in night
                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­          

                                                     ­                      Purpose lost within frosty
                                                                ­          air through a thin white T.
                                                              ­          Crashing thoughts parallel E-
                                                              ­                 Y-E lids amid empty
                                                                ­                  lots and streets.

                                                               ­               
Pausing for a red light
Silence resounding
Wandering through mornings
Cloaked in night

it isn't like you didn't know, ash and coal spilling from your mouth
like a stone pit the day after a campfire; cold, dead, acrid, gray
but still you want to pry it out of me
reach deep down into my throat
you know i protect it there
too painful to release
but you pry and you never know when to stop
and you never know when enough is enough
bright red stop signs
neon red lights
you waltz right through them
charm your way past
nothing deters, and so i curl up again
a tight, miniature rosebud
vulnerable, tiny thorns
your over-sized hands tear right through
you tear through
and your tearing through breaks me
it breaks it all

Aqua veins
Trees of life
Tears and roots
Roots and tears
Trailing down your porcelain face
I trace the life-paths with my finger tips
Watch them drip and drop
Cup them with my palm
Still they drip, but I catch those I can
I want to be your tree of life
Strong and unbending in the wind