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 Aug 2018 L
JL Smith
Acceptance
 Aug 2018 L
JL Smith
At times my memory fails
Yet, your words remain clear
It's ironic how you doubted my writing
Never gave it much thought or adhered

You attempted to break my spirit,
But instead, fueled this fire
You planned to bury me in your dust,
And here I am, sprouting higher

All it took--a little confidence
Commitment to my words
A belief in these syllables
Faith in a few strong verbs

I conjure feelings
I share stories
I bleed truth
I give glory

My poetry reveals this heart
You disrespected both,
But some day you will see
How I now touch the lives of strangers I call friends
And through these words,
They believe more than you did--
They've accepted me

© JL Smith
 Aug 2018 L
JL Smith
Ninety-nine percent of the time
The truth is brutal
It'll knock you on your back
You'll lie there positioned fetal
Praying it cuts you slack

As for me,
I continue to bear my soul
While most fear truth
I disclose the untold

My ninety-nine percent
Consists of a night owl
And a midnight snack
Laughing until my gut wrenches
And researching odd facts

My truth
Subsists of stubborness
I blame my dad for that
Tears form when I get angry,
But I forgive, rather than fight back

My reality
Reveals clearly
I'm a dreamer wandering an offbeat path
I've been told my goal's improbable,
But I believe in magic after solving the math

And honestly,
My heart falls swiftly
For the one I can't have
And to the ones who wanted me,
I can't force feelings that I lack

Ninety-nine percent of the time
The truth is brutal
It'll knock you on your back
I've shared my proportion,
And it's worth enduring to reach
My one percent of liberation after that

© JL Smith
 Aug 2018 L
JL Smith
My Scarecrow
 Aug 2018 L
JL Smith
I remember--
I must've been a little younger than five
The first time I learned of letting go
Peeking around my mom's recliner
Staring tearfully at the screen
Dorothy said goodbye to the Scarecrow

We formed a friendship, an unlikely pair
Me poking fun at your lack of brains
You encouraging me as I followed a dream
Down my winding, yellow-brick lane

You were there for me first
Seeing me through every storm
Communicating in the darkest of nights
As I hid fearfully from a tornado that formed

A journey full of memories
A bond strengthened through time
I've always found you most intelligent
And whether I stay or go--
I'll remember there's no place like home
When your love is mine

© JL Smith
 Aug 2018 L
JL Smith
You're Missed
 Aug 2018 L
JL Smith
It's 12:27 a.m.
And my postman's fast asleep
As I should be,
But I lie awake while you're also
Counting sheep

This distance between us
Cements my eyes to a map
Questioning the miles
Upon miles
Worth a hitchhike
And knapsack

For now, I'll write you poetry
Stamp and seal it
With a kiss
Until my mail carrier arrives
To deliver these words
Of how much you're missed

© JL Smith
 Aug 2018 L
JL Smith
Ticktock,
Drip drop
The voices of this house
Speak to me
And yet,
More comforting
Than the silence
We lived in
Before you left
Your key

© JL Smith
 Aug 2018 L
JL Smith
And her eyes shared a story
Her lips never would
Hazel glistening like glass
Just as fragile
Exposing her past

© JL Smith
 Aug 2018 L
elle jaxsun
sometimes it seems there
is no escape from your mind
when life twists your light.

you can't recognize
yourself anymore after
all your stars collide.

on the horizon
of the black hole in your life
full of lessons past.

self-destructive mind
remembering the heartbreak,
the ungentle death

of a giant cloud,
pain so hot that you explode
birthing brighter stars.

but you still feel small.
smaller than the Earth you walk
that is smaller than

the Sun it circles
around, that is smaller than
the galaxy it

floats in, smaller than
the universe they reside.
But they don't know they're

small, and neither should
you, full of galaxies. you
are a universe.

but a universe
can yield violence beyond
comprehension. with

every heartbreak, and
with every tear, a lesson
making you think twice--

did i do this right?
everything has a lifespan,
not a forever.

these are not times you should wish to reverse,
these are just the actions of a restless universe.
Fall2014
 Aug 2018 L
elle jaxsun
2,226 miles
 Aug 2018 L
elle jaxsun
i escaped 2,226 miles away

in hopes of finding
what i've been missing

in hopes of escaping
your
deadpan
tight-lipped
cold stare

in hopes of
peace

what i've been missing
all along
is me

overshadowed by the
hatred of myself
built by you

overshadowed by the
thoughts of suicide

why would i want
to be me when
my own family doesn't
seem to want me

and i know i'm not
the only one with a
story like that but

knowing so doesn't really make
this much easier to handle

i will admit that
i've had a lot of help
and i'm beyond lucky
to have the family i chose

they teach me things like

just because you used to be
doesn't mean you have to be

and

patience and kindness can
tear down the tallest walls

the ones i’ve spent my whole
life building just so i didn't
have to feel all of that **** again

but i’ve been
getting better at getting better
at 2,226 miles away

i think i’ll stay
I moved a year and a month ago. I live with some of the best people I know. I'm so thankful to be here.
 Aug 2018 L
elle jaxsun
dig deeper
 Aug 2018 L
elle jaxsun
and when you think you've tried it all,

dig deeper.
 Aug 2018 L
elle jaxsun
relax
 Aug 2018 L
elle jaxsun
just take some time to
unclench fists and soften gaze
you deserve to relax
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