november is an exercise in trust
we sit inside and through the windows
we watch things die
never quite sure if this time too
they will return

sometimes,

I wonder when I'll get to be happy
but then a few seconds later
I contemplate if I even deserve that

and you know what?

I'm starting to think I don't
that realization hurts
but it makes a lot of sense;

I cuff our wrists together
and tell myself
you're deciding to stay

I saw your face today in the crowd
I knew it wasn’t you
It couldn’t be because you’re not here

I miss you so much
I wish that I could hold you
And tell you that I love you

Somedays you feel more like a dream
Did I ever really feel your touch?
Or hear your tender voice?

Come back to me... even if only in a dream