Many dreams
so I walked for miles
the blistering heat beating ******* my shoulders
and my heart beat racing against time -
winning every illusory race.
Footsteps -
it brought me right to your doorstep
but you weren't home.

And I searched for you in all the seasons
but all four told me they hadn't seen you -
for a while -
and it had been a while since we had synergised
to create a euphoria only we felt.

An interloper -
somewhere that had once been so familiar
and I was reminiscent of an ethereal being.
Although incredulous of the falsity of my prior truth,
how could I not -
begrudgingly accept the reality of our ephemeral world.

I told her to stop sharing her grief
we had all felt it
but no one else really cared
and would want to be burdened with all that sorrow
sometimes you think,
it might lighten the load
but there are so few now
that really care

Feeling pensive
feeling you
thought of all the **** we put each other through.

Rained tonight
sky's warm and still bright
maybe we'll see a rainbow
you said we just might.

I hated the police sirens
because I couldn't hear what you said

Come closer and sit with me for a while
it's been a moment
since we were wild.
I hope now we're older we can elevate
I hope the sirens stop
so I don't miss a word
and I hope everything I said
you heard.

It was so frustrating that a song
a lyric even
just words really,
would transport me back to the memories of a boy.

He was the beginning of summer
unable to keep me company in the coldest winter.

And the sad reality of the current moment in time was that
I must set my heart free
from this middle place.

I ran for the bus -
late again -
it took off even quicker than you did
and I felt myself walking along steady with the breeze for company
no real conversation there -
provoking thoughts to spin endlessly in my mind
which they did -
from time to time.

Heartbreak had us at our knees
making pacts with God
for him to piece together this old friend of mine

The last few days of summer,
we picked up Chinese food -
as we walked home -
it was still so warm -
even at 9pm -
and the slow trickle of rain made us think we were in Thailand or one of those tropical countries we'd always spoken of travelling to.

Speaking of -
we talked about religion and you told me there was no such thing
just rules and beliefs that we attached to
in order for some purpose.
You asked me to pass you the sweet and sour sauce
because the food was bland
and you hated anything lacklustre -
if it was -
you didn't want it -
so sometimes I was surprised you wanted me
and while we carried on talking about faith and people
i was distracted by this thought but too distracted by fear to ever echo it aloud.

There was silence between us -
tired from it all -
bodies now aching -
but how content I was -
and i basked in how comfortable and satisfying
the sound of nothing was -
no interference -
no white noise -
i didn't know that a sound could taste like home