Feeling pensive
feeling you
thought of all the **** we put each other through.

Rained tonight
sky's warm and still bright
maybe we'll see a rainbow
you said we just might.

I hated the police sirens
because I couldn't hear what you said

Come closer and sit with me for a while
it's been a moment
since we were wild.
I hope now we're older we can elevate
I hope the sirens stop
so I don't miss a word
and I hope everything I said
you heard.

It was so frustrating that a song
a lyric even
just words really,
would transport me back to the memories of a boy.

He was the beginning of summer
unable to keep me company in the coldest winter.

And the sad reality of the current moment in time was that
I must set my heart free
from this middle place.

I ran for the bus -
late again -
it took off even quicker than you did
and I felt myself walking along steady with the breeze for company
no real conversation there -
provoking thoughts to spin endlessly in my mind
which they did -
from time to time.

Heartbreak had us at our knees
making pacts with God
for him to piece together this old friend of mine

The last few days of summer,
we picked up Chinese food -
as we walked home -
it was still so warm -
even at 9pm -
and the slow trickle of rain made us think we were in Thailand or one of those tropical countries we'd always spoken of travelling to.

Speaking of -
we talked about religion and you told me there was no such thing
just rules and beliefs that we attached to
in order for some purpose.
You asked me to pass you the sweet and sour sauce
because the food was bland
and you hated anything lacklustre -
if it was -
you didn't want it -
so sometimes I was surprised you wanted me
and while we carried on talking about faith and people
i was distracted by this thought but too distracted by fear to ever echo it aloud.

There was silence between us -
tired from it all -
bodies now aching -
but how content I was -
and i basked in how comfortable and satisfying
the sound of nothing was -
no interference -
no white noise -
i didn't know that a sound could taste like home

What if there was free choice
and my fate hadn't already been determined?
Could I choose the red pill even though I was meant to pick the blue
there were infinite possibilities
I could walk into.

Thoughts of you quickly evolved into thoughts of us
and I nearly missed my stop
but luckily the lavender smell on my wrist brought me back to this earthly plane

I wondered whether I should wait for you to text me
while I wondered what you were doing
even though we'd just said goodbye
so caught up in the rapture was I
because I had seen the kindest being through my eyes
Not something I was familiar with in a world that was sometimes so selfish and so self indulged
and then there was you

I thought I would wait to text
as to not be so keen
and my euphoric bliss carried me home
in an other worldly dream