Why are you not sitting on your chair in the kitchen
waiting for me to cook you something nice, I had promised after all
and it's been too long that you've been missing.
Watching you in the living room reading your Tolkien books but they have outlasted you
for you are not there
and they sit untouched on the tall bookshelves,
I look at Mr Bliss sometimes
until it makes me upset and I swiftly put it back with the others.
Lonely guitars now sit
with no one to play them
won't you return to play Along the Watchtower
and I promise I'll sing along this time.
Can you please answer my questions about magic?
Magic you are to me.
I look at pictures of you and us until my eyes cannot continue the flood
there was too much love
and not enough time
I cannot help but be reminded of you
there are so many memories
of what we went through.
Countless attempts  to bargain with God
for you to come back
but he will not agree
it's too late
my broken heart will have to be.

Today a thousand tears I cried
because you are not here by my side
although I have tried to dismiss as many memories as I could
today proved difficult
because it is your birthday
and it is hard to forget giving you a birthday card
and I cannot remember the last time I said 'Dad'
it is so odd to say aloud
and I wonder if you can hear.
I hope I grow up to be just like you the child inside of me screams so loud
because you really were the magic of it all
and I couldn't see your light
as much as it shines so powerfully now
the fondest memories if I allow myself to remember
and I wish we had written together
Do you remember making me sing while you played guitar
House of the Rising Sun
I wish we could go back
I will try to remember
and I love you Dad,
Happy birthday to you.

If only I could wish you happy birthday today
If only you were here in the present day
now all my poems surround your departure
the saddest day when I lost my father

I came here a lot when dad was ill
and it really made me feel -
like I just couldn't breath
suffocating in silence
with nothing to
appease -
the pain
the loss of love
it is so insane.

It's not a unilateral decision
when you decide to leave earth
it really affected everyone
but I know you would argue
you didn't have a say
and maybe I am just looking for someone to blame
because the aching heart
is an unreasonable thing
Oh and what a double entendre,
a funny thing.

Your equivocal life
I didn't seek to know enough
now we all sit around your boxes of stuff
your books of Tolkien stand proudly in their place
life's journey
what a race
but you
you finished too early
and now You are gone
my dear
so many tears
and I will play the saddest of songs.

i thought of your smile but now i was impervious to any thoughts of you
the plethora of emotion i had once felt
had now gone
but when i sat on the bench at the end of my garden
mind still
regretfully
you were still in mind

The rain it came
it wouldn't stop.
My heart beating fast
like the bellowing wind on the trees.
A myriad of thoughts stormed my mind
like a flood,
aligned with the rain
thud
thud
thud.

One at a time,
I set my thoughts free
I threw them across
like pebbles on the sea.

How fatuous was I,
to weigh myself down,
the precarious position has now spun around.

One last drop fell from above,
now the sky is as clear
as clear as my mind
the domino effect is never far behind.

What a life
and what a time
how crazy we were
when you were mine.

The difficulty of remembering what was said
the fleeting memory
probably better left unsaid.