I'VE CRIED A THOUSAND TEARS FROM YOU
I WON'T CRY NOT ANOTHER ONE
I'VE WORKED, I'VE TRIED,I CAN'T I'M DONE
IT DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THAT WAY
I GUESS YOU CHOSE IT, AND
THIS IS WHAT AND HOW YOU SAY
GOOD BYE, ENOUGH, CAN'T DO, CAN'T TRY
WE'RE DONE , WE'RE THROUGH, I KNOW I'LL GET BY
AND KNOW I WILL FLY.
YOU'RE FREE, JUST BE,
BE HAPPY,
YES O AND,
I HOPE YOU ARE TOO
ALL PART OF A BIGGER PLAN GUESS ITS DONE
OUT OF OUR HANDS.
THE TIME WAS SPENT, IT ALL WENT
ACCORDING TO HIS WILL
IT HURTS, ITS HARD, IT'S FINE, I'M FINE, IT'S GOOD I STILL WILL FEEL
MY HEART'S NOT DONE YET, WITH YOU, NO MORE, THESE BARS , AND STONES, AND CHAINS ARE GONE, GONE THEY ARE GONE
DON'T KNOW HOW TO LET IT GO FOR REAL

IF I SAID TODAY, I DIDNT KNOW
WOULD YOU STILL WANT ME, WOULD YOU SSTAY, OR GO
WOULD IT CHANGE IT ALL, OR WOULD IT REMAIN AND GROW
COULD WE BE WHAT WE ARE WHY NOT, I ASK YOU NOW
WHAT I FEEL IT IS SO STRONG SO DEEP SO SCARY THOUGH
I AM CONFUSED A LOT AND OFTEN TOO, I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW
THAT IS TRUE, I CANNOT PROMISE WHAT I DO NOT KNOW
I AM WHO I AM AND ALWAYS WANT TO GROW, NOT CHANGE TO FIT,BUT BECOME A BETTER ME.
AND MOST TIMES I'M GOOD ENOUGH, FOR ME WHEN I'M NOT IT REALLY SHOWS
YOU HAVE BEEN HURT ALOT, BY SOME, BUT WHY CAN'T UPI SEE. THEY ARENT ME.
I AM HOPE. I TRY HARD TO COPE WITH A LOT DAILY.
I CANNOT CHANGE SO MUCH SO FAST SO DRASTICALLY.
I HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN,  YOU JUST MAY NOT WANT TO SEE
THAT I'M NOT ALL YOU CRACK ME UP TO BE , ALREADY.
                                                                   10/23/14

7216

You look at me and shake your head with disgust
Im bigger than you so there for I must
Have habits that are slovenly and unclean
Do you have any idea how much it hurts you are so mean
I try really hard to help family
My friends in need to keep myself and house happy
Its so hard in the world today to sit and be judged
It never stops no matter what I do I feel begrudged
All I want is to me and be accepted as I am
I just wanna put clothes on and a smile
You do know if you asked I would walk that extra mile
I feel like I am about ready to bust, just a ****
Built to hold back, don’t say that
Must be fitting to their idea, their mold
Just makes me want to shut down, ok got it just be cold
Hearted. To all. Really is that what works for you
I am kind, I am happy , I am polite, I am not like you
I am giving, helpful, considerate, caring
No you are not and do not, you are not bearing
The scars that hide, way down deep inside
You are not weary, scared, hiding like a child
I try so hard to just "fit in"
I just want to feel like once, "yes your in"
What tho the cost, make me unhappy
But look nice, appearance is skin deep
That is my take on it
I don’t care your tone of skin
GOD made you YOU
I don’t care what car you drive in
GOD made you YOU
I don’t care what side of town your on
GOD made you YOU
I don’t care how much money you make
GOD made you YOU
I don’t care what you have on your lawn
GOD made you YOU
I don’t care, if others say you are fake
GOD made you YOU
I don’t care what medicine you are prescribed
GOD made you YOU
I don’t care what they think, they say you lied
GOD made you YOU

I promised myself that
I’d never make anyone my world
And I didn’t

I made my own world
And spun in my axis
Days passed
Lives flashed
And flickered

I had convinced myself
That I didn’t need anyone to orbit me
That I had too much on my plate to keep me busy
The constellations needed arranging
The planets needed realigning
The stars needed shining

Yes no one was my world
And it was fine
So I spun
And I spun
And I spun
On my own

But I didn’t know
That my world was set
For the big bang course
And was bound to collide with yours

When it hit
My world shook
My world was set on fire
My world was never the same

Yet after all that
You didn’t become my world still
As I had always promised

My world was mine
And your world was yours
Though admittedly there was no part of mine
That was left untouched by yours

Your gravity worked
So strongly on me
Pulling me in so effortlessly
Though I didn’t mind really
Sticking around for an eternity
Because truthfully
To be apart from you
Is something I never want to be

So there we were
In a cosmic dance we vowed to do forever
And it was amazing
As we spun
And we spun
And we spun
Together

Yes my world was mine
And your world was yours
Yet in the process
You somehow managed
To become my whole universe

this poem
is not about you

even though
your spirit is in every word
your voice sounds strong
in the halls of my mind
telling me things
I am now sure
I want to know

this poem is
about me

trying to understand
you