his dream was always of a cart, carrying
limbs like those in so many slaughter houses
dragged along by two oxen, blind, backs whipped
by a golem whose red eyes illuminated
the path, the cart's carrion, and even
the black sky

when he would awake, he would feel
ravenous, not sated by his breakfast mush
or his noon repast--only when he sat for dinner
would he be full, after he drowned himself in wine, and gorged himself on a feast of flesh, charred yet
dripping with blood

the same sanguine soup, perchance,
he saw flowing from the wagon of his dreams,
the same as the crimson ooze from the humps of
the beaten beasts who transported
the ghoulish cargo to some crypt
in the greedy earth

to someplace he longed to see and
to be, in the dream, the one from which
he would awake with such perverse
hunger for life

crags, cold and gray--tedious time
has little worn their edges

grandfather moved a thousand his four score years
in these emerald moors

father too, before the war, when he left the rocks
for others to move, the sheep for others to sheer

grandmother never forgave him for leaving;
the queen had not asked for his body or soul

in the blood red fields of the Somme, he never missed the place

nor his mum, whose heart gave out when she heard
he died in a French trench, of the Spanish flu

after that, grandfather let others tend to his flock
and moved not another stone

now thirty and five, back from my own foul war
I walk these pastures with only misty memories of them:

father, son and steed, dragging boulders
across dew drenched grass, to walls that yet stand
but now guard only the dead

Crossgates, Wales, 1946

the man in the fine suit
gave me three hard quarters--those Washingtons were smiling at me, waiting to be swallowed by the machines at Horn and Hardart's Automat, where

there was but one old lady
standing, still as a statue, in front of a machine
her reflection on the glass staring back at her,
a haunting twin, from a different

mother. I could taste those ham sandwiches
waiting, but when that first quarter chinked its way into that dispenser, the old woman and her reflection turned to me, hungry

for something I couldn't taste;
so I gave her my other quarters, and hurried
into the night, chewing my food,
still hungry when done, but far
from her tired eyes, far

the highway on which you escape
has a placard, green with destinations:
90 miles, 140

the 50 asphalt measures between the two
raw with hope, or despair, depending on who is there, flying past stubborn mesquite, doomed steers, and sagging shacks with graveyard stories

you always return,
not having found what
you never lost

the sign coming back
on the same tarred trail
tells how many there are, of you,
one hundred thousand, six hundred, forty two
though you may be only one who knew
you departed, maybe

tomorrow another you
will crank the engine and turn the wheel,
accelerate while you still can, until your gas
burns out, or the road rips a bald tire,
a ruptured reminder you can't
leave it all behind

words he could not understand
flew over his head--sparrows at first,
vultures as the hours passed; he

could see the creatures
spilling from mouths, eager fledglings
escaping the nest, white

coat wizards
birthed them, casting some spell
on the mother, on all

mothers who heard the flapping
of these wings, who saw the buzzards gather
until they swooped down upon

him, helpless, as their talons
snatched him from her arms, their wings
in frenzied dance, fluttering  

to a symphony of the ******
carrying carrion and soul to a bedeviled den
she could not see

every night, the klaxon
wailed, like a hound lost in the fog

Mum and I would be sitting down
to dinner when the beast began bellowing

she would quip, them Gerrys want me
on thin rations, and to the cellar we scuttled

Mum would bring a votive candle, a pale of water;
I would grab Tag, our shivering terrier

in our tiny circle of timid light, we would wait and wonder,
how far were they? what would the next sun reveal?

on All Saints Eve, the house shuddered; the dust
from its two centuries drifted down on us like fine rain

then all was still, until we fell asleep--maybe she was
dreaming of Father, and what field now held him

I was not--sleep had taken me but a moment before
our tired beams moaned and gave way

Tag was then barking through his tremors, and she lay
still in the rubble, her eyes slit open

though only enough to see I was there to bury
her, in green pasture

far from this gloom, her quivering pet  
and orphaned manchild