Hugging close, finally
Someone who’s hugging me back
With my thumb to her shoulder blade
Touching on bra straps while
She’s got her face in my chest
Both of us fully dressed, to be clear

“You’re my favorite,” she says
She prefers me to four other men
At least four with the
Three in the room and
The boyfriend she just got to
Make it official
It’s me
I’m her favorite

Maybe she prefers me to the rest of
The men that she’s met
That’d be swell and well um
Y’know, neat and stuff
She might even prefer me to strangers
Not saying that we’re well-acquainted
But we exchanged numbers so
I know her name at least
I think it’s really her name

I’ve been told I’m too self-absorbed
But I can’t seem to absorb anyone else
We attempted your incorporation into my being
But I can’t seem to absorb anyone else

I’ve been walking down this road with you
For a while and we’ve been talking ‘bout what we could go do
I don’t want to be pretentious  
Or an arrogant tool
I just want to take you home
And make myself useful

I won’t be subdued
Unless that makes me cool with you
You’re my favorite person to talk to
But you saved my contact as some dude

I’ve been told I’m too self-absorbed
But I can’t seem to absorb anyone else
As elated as I am to say I’ve made your acquaintance
No, I can’t seem to absorb anyone else

You’ve got me running around
With your name in my mouth
And the taste of your *****
On my tongue

I wouldn’t call it romantic
Hell it’s barely even tantric
(You know) I only call you, “baby”
‘Cause you’re too young for me

I won’t be subdued
Unless that makes me cool with you
You’re my favorite person to talk to
But you saved my contact as some dude

These are the shorts that I wear
When I wear shorts
I don’t really have other options
I swear, I wear either the one pair or
I wear the nearly identical shorts with the paint

I’ve got paint on about half my shorts
But I only have two pairs of shorts so
They’ve all been half-paint-splattered

If I can keep one pristine moving forward
For, like, well, forever, or at least until
I buy replacement shorts
I could bury the shame
With a bundle of unmutilated athletic shorts
I’ll never wear to a gym

They’re more actively loungewear but
Amazon gave them the name
I’m an athlete, you betcha
Just look at my shorts

Most of knowing each other these days is acknowledgement
Smiling, waving, a head nod
We don’t talk as much as I’d like, but
I don’t have it in me to reach out in earnest
You’ve probably noticed the distance
Occasional texts and shared media make up
The meaningful moments we’ve shared
For a while - it’s been a bit more than a while now
But I still like you
I probably love you, I do, but y’know
We both work so much
And we don’t work together
We haven’t for years now
It’s crazy it’s years now
When you and I live
Not an hour apart
If it’s more - maybe walk faster
I don’t know - anyway

You should know what’s on my walls
I should know your new address
The way your monitor is angled
All the games that you’ve been playing
Your whole setup must be like
Y’know, the feng shui has to be just - yeah

I don’t invite you to much anything
These days you wouldn’t like it here
I do, of course, but it’s not us
And I love us y’know
You and I immersed in games or
Movies, shows, or something
Some expression of ourselves
Expressed by someone else
You point out which one’s me and
There you are engaging with me
We don’t even have to do whatever
We did on the screen
They did us for us

This one piece of art I made
Looked like a **** and *****
For more than a year
Before it was a woman
Though it was always a woman

I was so frustrated to have people
Celebrate this woman I saw
As a big ol’ **** and *****
But I could see it

Still, it is a woman
In the painting
Crazy to see
What my audience sees as
Apparent **** and *****
As such an obvious
And alluring
Example of womanhood

Somehow general procrastination
Made a ******* statement
And I’m so impressed
While I refuse
To think I chose this
In a moment of genius

**** me
Life happened
There it is

You never said what made you heart react
That one time
When you heart reacted to that video
The video on Instagram?
You didn't interact with anything I sent for
Maybe twenty videos, y'know
I know - I send too much
But finally I got one right
I wanna get it right again
With zero context pretty much
You'll get a lot of
Like just lots of
Tons of really
Martial arts reels - exhibitions
And jokes like that one
You know the one
You double tapped it
Pull it up
In your activity
Your likes
It's really funny
But not -
No I saw that too, but it's -
No, I think -
Maybe? Wait -
No, you should check your messages
Impatiently
Your messages, uh-huh

The closest I'll get to almost opening
That infamous browser app
The one shaped like a stamp
On my LG enV Touch
The wavy blue thumbnail
That one
Or the rotating Earth
The one led by an arrow
On another LG
It's a flip phone
I don't know the name
But the first one I had
I might add
I just did
It's been added
Is probably opening apps
That alert other people
To my sleeping habits
It's five o'clock
I'm out back smoking
And check Instagram
Then remember my mom
Asking me why I'm up
On her schedule
And swipe up as if
She'd be charged for that ****
And she is
What an angel for paying
For me to have
PHONE
Not the same as it was
Frantically tapping before I'm punished
Or I have to say why I did what I did
Same and not in some ways
But as close as I'll get