Now that I look back
A feeling of daunting realisation sinks my stomach
Every incident you've ever told me about
I no longer see you as the victim
I wonder why I had so much sympathy
Now that you've done to me what you did to them
I think
Maybe it was you all along
Maybe you were the chaos
But I took you in my arms
Comforted you
And soothed your arrogance
Mistaking it for hurt

So who is the one at fault?
Now that I think about it
I was wrong about you all along

The impotent wishing
for some merciful being
to shut you off from the
unremitting, almost daily
mixture of
frustration and despair
it's been like this for too long
you wake in the small hours
wondering at the alarm
to all but your inward ear
seeking the tremor of hands
that sudden cramp which
you stretch your limbs
the salty trajectory of the tears
all those times when that faceless one pounced
and still, in ready ambush, lies
and that lost soul sets your pulse to fast
and deep inside you
full of impotence, cries

"why are you writing
poems and prose?"
asked a guy out of nowhere
while staring at my pen

"to breathe."
I answered with a smile

for writing lets me indulge
with metaphors and similes

it is my escape
the key toward my fantasies

Look! Today is no longer grey!
Look! The ashen clouds've gone away!
Nothing can break me today!

Look! The birds are singing again,
Look! Just watch the branches dance!
And with a very simple glance,
You'll see that nature is sadness' bane.

The vibrant flowers bloom once more,
The wind's hand is no longer cold,
The sun shines with all his might,
I am no longer filled with spite...

this loneliness it speaks

it seeps into the atmosphere
and creeps into my lungs

and i'm drowning
gasping for air

trying to read
between the lines

before the words
disappear

and i am consumed
by the dark.