what does it feel like to be held
not by another body
not by a set of limbs, a chest, a chin
but
by another soul

what does it feel like
to see truth in another pair of eyes
instead of hidden intentions
instead of absence

what does it feel like
to hear a familiar heartbeat
resounding next to your own
reaching through skin
through bone
two rhythms
indistinguishable

what does it feel like
to write poems about
a love that exists

It haunts me sometimes
The distraught look in your eyes
Knowing that you can't get through

It's much worse on the other end
Seeing you so upset
Knowing you won't open up

Not even to me

It haunts me sometimes
Seeing you so unresponsive
Like I'm dead to you

I hate the feeling so much
Being on the outside
Desperate to be let in

I'm sorry I ever did it to you

I saw her through my window
whilst watching the rain fall
She just stood there for a while
and let it all wash over her

The cold crept inside her bones
till she felt nothing but numb

The rain changed her
and I wish
I was not at the window,
but dancing in the rain

my heart speaks sorrows i have never heard of
her words spilling through my very being
allowing me to feel all the pain
yet she feels my restraint
holding my breath and closing in on her
as if to say "the pain stays inside until i forget it exists"
while she pulls at her own heartstrings,
which are so conveniently attached to every nerve of my being,
to remind me that feeling is not a sin
that my emotions are valid
and that the acceptance will be the greatest breath i have ever breathed;
that it is the greatest release of all.

when you’re the one
that has done the hurting
it takes time to heal too

it takes time to accept your faults
the pain you contributed to
the ending of it all

even if they hurt you too
even if they forgive you
the guilt inside you lives on

you might spend your life
hoping your sorrow
can be felt by them

Along with the morning mists
The tender leaves gently  uncurl
Soak in the first rays of the Sun
Listen closely to the dew
And its translucent views
Up in the mists
Rolls the voice of the soul
Behold

🌿🌿

I carry a mask in my purse
for special occasions.
Turns out
wherever there’s people
there:
occasion