I am not her child,
I am her ghost, red-mouthed, raw,
reliving her sin.

Years gone by
Tears fell down
So many nights
I stayed awake worried
Didn’t know what to
Make of it
Not one word
Not one call
Not one visit
That’s in the past now
I don’t know how
To process this
Why?
I cried for years
Felt rejected
Felt not enough
Lost all confidence
It felt like a nightmare
Now 20 years
It’s come to words
Never understand
Why you left
I’ll never see you again
Miles apart
But you will stay in my heart

a secret im too scared to share with anyone
except random strangers on the internet:
i wish i had an eating disorder.
i would be sad
but at least i’d be skinny.

im sorry.
i really am.